Destined To Explode

It’s dark by the time we’re drunk enough to risk the freezing temperatures of Baltimore during December, myself and Zack teaming up because in our minds it made sense for the two wine drinkers to be against those of us who had been on the Corona most of the night.

I’m bundled up in one of Bassam’s old coats, the normally waist length jacket reaching almost to my knees, the arms having to be constantly shuffled up so that I can actually get handfuls of snow to throw at Alex and Jack, the latter now perched up in a tree, scraping the branches to collect the cold particles, his team mate having to occasionally give up on his own creations for Jack to chuck at us.

We’re yelling ‘your Mom’ jokes at each other as we run around, Jack practically screaming them at Zack and I, Alex is doubling over laughing half of the time because nothing that Jack is saying actually makes much sense and if any of us were sober we would be ripping the shit out of his crappy insults.

I don’t exactly hear what Zack shouts out about Joyce, but it causes Jack to fling himself from the tree and begin to chase the muscled boy around the yard, continually telling him to take it back even when Zack is sprinting down the street, Jack drunkenly running after him.

The sight makes me laugh like I haven’t in a long while and I lose my stepping a little as I try to straighten up, Alex’s arm wrapping around my torso as he balances me out again.

“Clumsy, Zicarelli.” He mumbles into my neck as I lean back against him, still chuckling as we hear Jack’s far away cries to the bassist.

“Intoxicated.”

“We all are but you don’t see us stumbling over.” He tightens his arms when I turn around to face him, pressing my cold face into his collarbone.

“Jack fell out of a tree, that just screams ‘drunk’.”

Alex hums in agreement against my hair. “But he meant to do that.”

“How do you know that I didn’t mean to slip?” I retort, standing on my tiptoes to match his height, eyebrows rising as I wait for his reply.

“What good would that have done for you? A wet ass for the rest of the night. Maybe a little sniffle by morning.”

“It got you to hold me, didn’t it?”

It’s Alex’s turn to raise his eyebrows, staring me down, both of us waiting until the other looks away and it doesn’t really register straight away when Alex presses his cold lips to mine, eyes slowly shutting as he tilts his head a little, my arms beating me brain to a reaction as they move to loop around Alex’s neck, the movement freeing my hands from their confines so that I can tangle my fingers in the hair that is sticking out from under his beanie.

We let our chapped lips slide against each other as Alex’s hands manage to find purchase on my hips as he pulls me against him and it feels like we’re teenagers again, the same feelings rushing through my veins, my skin tingling as it heats up, sparks, fireworks –

“Score!”

Alex and I are jolted apart as Jack laughs, pumping his fists in the air in triumph, watching as we both shiver as the snow begins to melt on our heated bodies, the cold liquid sliding down our necks where he had hit us both square in the face.

“You’re such a douche, Jack.” Alex scoffs, scrubbing at his face, probably trying to warm it. “What did you do to Zee?”

“He went in to dry off so I came here to see if you two had killed each other because it was pretty fucking silent but no, here you are again eating each other’s faces like it’s perfectly normal.”

“Jack, you’re acting like our kissing is illegal. Fucking hell, grow up.” I roll my eyes. “Come on, you’re lending me a shirt now that you have affectively soaked mine.”

I can hear Alex follow us into the house, his feet crunching through snow and I can’t help but shoot him a smile when he pressed his hand to my back as we shuffle through the doorway, his own smile reaching his eyes, his hand sliding to gently squeeze my hip, reassuring me that what had just happened, wasn’t something to regret.

* * * *

“You’re wearing my shirt.” Alex states when he steps into the Barakat kitchen around two am, stretching as he leans against the counter. “Borrow that as well?”

I shrug, smirking at the fact that I still have the beanie on over my messy hair. “Jack gave it to me; he must have taken it off of you.”

“Well, tour does tend to mix up our clothes. Except for Zack because he’s too cool to wear shirts.”

I laugh because at this very moment, despite only having been playing in the snow a few hours before, Zack is drifting in and out of sleep on the chair in the lounge – shirtless.

“That kid is ridiculous. I know that it’s warm in there but still, it’s the dead of winter.” I can’t help but sigh happily when the kettle clicks to indicate that it’s ready. “You want some cocoa?”

Alex grins. “Why do you think I followed you in here, huh?”

“Oh, I don’t know… because I’m irresistible? You’re just drawn to me?” I bite my tongue to stop myself from laughing when Alex shakes his head at me like I’m ridiculous.

“Well, those things too but mainly the thought of hot cocoa with little marshmallows and extra sweetener.” He punctures the end of his sentence with a peck to my lips. “Now, move yourself over so that I can get everyone a mug.”

Alex had been kind of touchy ever since our little session in the backyard, little things like kissing my cheek when he passed me on the stairs or putting my feet into his lap when I had sat next to him on the couch to watch the rest of the movie that Joyce and Bassam had been watching while we were out acting childish – little things that I wouldn’t normally have even bothered with, had we not been sucking face an hour or so before.

It’s not like it’s awkward or now that I was beginning to sober up that I regret it happening, but my mind was constantly going round in circles thinking about what was going to come out of it, if anything does at all.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I couldn’t decide whether or not Alex and I starting something now was ever going to end well.

Notes