Homecoming
And I'm all alone
I am a product of teen pregnancy; my parents were 14 when I was conceived. She was a cheerleader at one high school and he was a nobody at her rival school, yet they were best friends. They had been that way since they were 6 years old. They never would have thought that, that one time they got bored and had sex would lead to me, Kennadee Jade, on November 24, 2003. I was 2 ½ at their high school graduations, I have pictures in my sock drawer to prove it. After that day my dad went on tour across the United States and my mom moved me suddenly to Nashville so that she could go to nursing school. She let my dad see me a few times when he came to town but that eventually stopped just after my 3rd birthday. Either my mom pushed him away or he got sick of trying to be a father to me. He still sends me money every once and a great while so hopefully I can find him once I get to Baltimore via that address or something.
So that brings us to the present day; me sitting here alone packing up all of my belongings so that I can leave this place in order to find myself and people who will accept me. That also means that I have to drop out of high school for now, which I did earlier in the day. I just have to get all of this in my duffle bag and get out of this condo without too much commotion. My train leaves at 2 am luckily.
“Kenna, your shit is all over the table and my family would like to eat!” I hear my mother yell to me.
“Coming mother!” I reply, “You couldn’t move it yourself?”
“You just have to have the last word don’t you young lady?”
“Oh you know it!!! Don’t worry come tomorrow you won’t have to deal with it anymore, okay?”
“What does that mean Kenna?”
“I have a one way train ticket to Baltimore so you can live your ‘perfect’ life with the family ‘you’ve always wanted’!” I yell to her as I run back to my room.
She unfortunately followed me there, “Have I not given you a good life Kennadee? What did I do wrong? Please tell me.”
Oh god now she is going to play the pity card on me. “Mom, you didn’t do anything wrong per say. You just can’t stop telling me how I ruined your teenage years and wish I wasn’t ever conceived. And you don’t even remember my 16th Birthday, mom! I know you had a kid by that age but the least you could at least acknowledge that I’m not you.”
“Well where are you going to go?” she asked straight faced.
“It depends on me and only me I guess.”
As a tear falls down her face she turns to me and says, “Just know I love you. Be careful Kennadee,” and she walks out.
Well that went better than I thought it would. At least she didn’t try and convince me not to go. That just proves to me that she could care less about me since you know I am the one that ruined her life. She always has told me that she was supposed to be a doctor and I ruined that obviously.
I hope once I make it to Baltimore I can find a good studio apartment and a good full time job so that I could make a new life for myself. Until then I may be making a living with my guitar on the streets of DC. I won’t complain of course because I will deal with anything as long as it means I get out of this city. I have technically taken enough community college classes in videography that I could have an associates degree. I guess if someone asks I could lie my way into that one.
After I finish packing up my entire life I look around the room and realize I was leaving everything I’ve ever known behind. I guess that is what growing up is and we all have to do it someday. My mother is still up by the time the cab for the train station gets to her place and we say our goodbyes. She actually had tears in her eyes when I left, maybe this will make her realize that she lost her oldest long ago because of the way she treated me.
I had to leave Nashville early to make my train because the closest Amtrak station where I can purchase a ticket is in Memphis which is about 3 hours away from where I live currently. The cab ride was pretty uneventful but it did allow me to think of what I am going to do with my life now. One thought kept coming to my mind, will the police think I am a runaway? I know I am over thinking things but it’s what I do, what can I say.
Once I made it to the station I had to rush to make it onto the train on time. I guess you could say I am usually 10 minutes late to anything. Luckily though I made it right before they closed the doors. After I get settled I think about everything I have to look forward to for the rest of my young life. I can do what I want now, become whatever the hell I feel like being, and follow all my dreams. I doze off for a while once we get on our way north. It was a good 11 hour sleep before we would make it to my stop after all.
As I walk off the train in good ol’ Baltimore, MD I feel lost yet so relieved all in one. I didn’t know where I was going to go but this was the place that felt like home the most. I guess it’s time for me to find some way to make a quick buck so that I can clean up and not look like death. This means I need to find a legal place to play some music for people on the street. Once I find the perfect place I set myself up and sing “Breathe” by Anna Nalick...
2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
[Chorus]
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
At the end of this song I notice I have enough cash for a motel room for at least tonight so I can get myself settled. This going out on my own thing is going to be a lot harder than I thought it would be if it goes like this everyday.
When I wake up the next day I decide to get looking decent to go find myself a job in town. I walk throughout the city and fill out quite a few applications to random places in hopes of getting some type of job to help me out. Then I walk by Recher Theatre and see that they need a full time videographer for local gigs. This is perfect for me so I go in to inquire about the posting and they hire me without question on the spot. Well I guess that was a lot easier than I thought it would be yesterday.
Notes
NEW STORY YAY!!! Can you guess who her dad is? Let me know what you think :)Oh and here's a disclaimer: I barely can write these so I definitely cannot write lyrics so none of them are original despite what it says (plz just have an imagination for me this time :])
5/14/13