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Feeling This

I'm Not In the Scene

Jack, Zack, Rian and Alex were all sprawled out on the Gaskarth's back lawn. The warm Summer air was starting to turn bitter, and the skies were growing dark with rain clouds. Regardless, it was a beautiful day, and the last day of relaxation these four friends would see for a while. With a beer in their hands, they all smiled happily to the coming days, knowing that it would be a hard, joyful experience.

"I think that maybe all the shit we went through was worth it," Alex sighed, running his fingers along the side of his can to catch the slipping water drops. "This is it, guys. Shit gets real after today."

"Yep," Zack nodded, turning his attention to Rian. "How are you holding up, bro?"

"Not well, honestly. I thought maybe if I didn't talk about it, it would go away, but it hasn't. Kara called me the other night. She tried to tell me how sorry she was, and that she wants us to get back together. Maybe try for another baby."

"What? You're not going to do it, are you? You know we all love Kara, but I don't think you're ready to get pregnant.. On purpose."

"No, I know that. I told her that I'd always love her, and I wouldn't tell anyone at school what happened or treat her like shit when we see each other.. But I just can't do it. I can't be with her after what she did. I know there's someone amazing out there for me and I'll meet her one day. In the mean time, I just want to focus on the band."

"This is why you're always the smart one," Jack grinned. "And the mature one."

"It's not about being mature, it's about doing what's right. Until the day I die, I have to live with the fact that my son or daughter never got to see the light of day, and that fucking sucks. But I'm going to let it give me strength, and I'm gonna go on to do great things in loving memory of my child."

"For what it's worth," Zack placed a comforting hand on Rian's shoulder. "You would have been a great dad."

There was a long silence, in which Rian put his head down to wipe some stray tears. Though his three friends wished they could think of something to say to ease the pain, there was nothing that could be said. It would be a constant struggle, and he'd have to take it day-by-day, but he was right. One day he would meet the love of his life and things would finally become easier. Time can be cruel, and though it doesn't heal wounds, it gives you enough strength to accept the things that have happened in your life. Rian would be okay. Not today, not tomorrow, but one sweet day.

"Well, there's something I'd like to talk to you all about, too."

Rian slowly lifted his head, using his tumb to remove any stains from his cheeks. Zack kept his hand on Rian's shoulder, but also turned his attention to Alex, while Jack simply smiled and stared at his best friend. This was the moment, and Jack couldn't be more proud that Alex had finally overcome his fear.

"I've been dealing with a lot recently. It's not as tragic as the things Rian has had to cope with, and it certainly won't take such a strong toll on us as a group, but my head has been running wild, dudes. I thought I wanted to be with Lisa because she was the only person in this world that accepted that I could just never fall in love, but I was wrong. On both accounts. I'm in love, and I'm not afraid to say it anymore."

Alex nervously sucked in a deep breath, and allowed his hand to find Jack's. Their fingers locked instantly, and he held them up for Zack and Rian to see.

"We're official now," Jack snickered, a light blush coming to his cheeks.

Zack grinned, while Rian stared confused at his two friends.

"I knew it!" Zack threw his hands in the air, laughing. "I knew as soon as Alex broke up with Lisa that it was going to happen."

"Wait.. You knew about this, and you didn't tell me?"

"Sorry, Ri," Zack continued laughing. "Jack told me that he had feelings for Alex a long time ago. I was just waiting for asshat to come around."

"I guess I'm the asshat," Alex sighed. "I know, it took me forever, but here we are."

"So B-Kat and Gaskarth," Rian smiled, nodding his head. "I can get used to that. It's gonna be weird, but I always knew you guys were meant for each other. Congrats, dudes."

Alex put his head down, happy and nervous all at the same time, as Jack scooted closer to his boyfriend so he could place a soft kiss on his cheek. Now it was real. They wouldn't have to hide their feelings any longer. It was such a sudden change. Starting off the Summer trying not to love Alex, and ending it wrapped up with him under the Summer sky, in front of their friends who didn't even mind.

It all would have been so perfect, if it wasn't for the sound of a car pulling in the driveway.

"Rents!" Zack cried, flipping his beer over so that the remaining liquid could fall to the ground.

Alex, Rian and Jack mocked his actions, and quickly stuffed the empty cans into Jack's bag. They stood up quickly, a sadness coming over them. Jack's parents had come home the day before, but they agreed to let Jack spend one more night with his best friend. Now that Alex's parents were home, though, it was time to part ways. Summer had finally come to an end.

"I just want to say, I'm glad this Summer didn't totally suck, and I really love you guys."

"See you Monday," Rian smiled, pulling his three friends into a hug. "Except for you, Zack. I'll see you Friday."

"Does anyone care if I bring Juliett to band practice?"

"Hell no. We owe that girl everything we have!" Alex laughed, waving them off. "Be careful, fucktards!"

Rian and Zack threw their arms in the air, disappearing on the other side of the house.

"I'll see you on Monday, too," Jack smiled, brushing a strand of hair from Alex's eyes. "I love you, Alexander Gaskarth."

"I love you, too, Jack Barakat."

With one final peck on the lips, the two said goodbye. To the Summer, and to each other.

Notes

We're coming to a close on this story, guys. It makes me super sad! ):

Comments

@WeAreWhatWeLiveFor
Thank you!

I am in love with the way you portrayed Remembering Sunday... It's absolutely beautiful.

I am in love with the way you portrayed Remembering Sunday... It's absolutely beautiful.

I am in love with the way you portrayed Remembering Sunday... It's absolutely beautiful.

I am in love with the way you portrayed Remembering Sunday... It's absolutely beautiful.