It was a hot Summer day in Baltimore, but that didn't stop the rain clouds from hovering of Rian Dawson's head. It had been one week since Kara took a pregnancy test that would forever change his young life. He always knew there was a risk when they slept together, however he never thought he'd have to face the consequences, not this early in life. Rian's eyes had grown dark to match his heart, and that beautiful smile hadn't been seen in days.

He sat in Alex's backyard with a cold beer in his hand. The three friends sitting with him had pushed their own differences aside in his time of need. Alex hadn't spoken to Lisa since she left the morning after they got the news. Nor had he spoken to Jack about the words they spoke. Not even Zack had an input anymore. They just sat there, staring off into the distance, trying desperately to find the right solution.

"I'm too young to have a kid," Rian broke the silence, putting his head down to stare at the can of beer. "I'm not done growing up yet. There's still so much I want to do with my life."

"Maybe it was a false positive," Zack attempted to comfort his friend. "My mom said that happened to her once before she had me. One came back positive, one came back negative, and a sonogram proved that she wasn't really pregnant."

"I don't think so, bro. She's a month late and the lines showed up almost instantly on both test. She's only called me once this week, said her mom set her up an appointment with the doctor."

"When is the appointment?"

"Today," Rian sighed, allowing the beer to hit his lips, where he sucked most of it down. "She wouldn't let me go with her."

"Then why aren't you with her?" It was Jack who spoke now. "You should be there."

"Her mom is mad at me, wouldn't let me go. She said she'll call me when it's over."

They nodded, but didn't speak. Honestly, not one of them could imagine the pressure that Rian was under. He wasn't just their smart best friend anymore, now he was someone's father. There was another life in the world, even if it wasn't breathing yet, that he was expected to take care of. There goes his hopes and dreams, right out the window. If the pregnancy was confirmed, All Time Low would never leave Baltimore. Rian would have to shuffle raising a child, going to school and working some crap job to pay for diapers and formula. He'd probably have to drop out so he could get an apartment for his small family. Rian Dawson would never be the same, and neither would his friends.

The only good that had come out of this so far was the reality check it gave Alex. He was starting to understand how quickly life could get turned around, and how deeply something happening in someone else's universe can hurt you. Is that what he'd done to Jack? Here he was, all along thinking that Jack would never turn his back on him or ever feel any real pain because of the decisions Alex had made, but he could see clearly now that the sadness in Jack's eyes was from more than the idea of being an 'uncle.' Alex had taken Jack's heart, turned it into a game, and tossed it in the dirt. Simpy put, he hated himself.

If it weren't for the buzzing on Rian's phone, Alex would have stayed trapped in his head forever. He tore his eyes from the sky and looked at his friend, as did Jack and Zack, waiting to see what Kara had to say. Rian gulped down a knot in his throat and nodded, but he didn't put the phone to his hear. He just stared at it blankly with tears in his eyes.

"She's pregnant," he whispered. "Here."

He handed the phone to Alex. On the screen was a picture of a sonogram. There was some writing above the small figure that read 'BABY!' Alex passed the phone to Zack and scooted closer to Rian.

"It can't be all bad. I know it's hard, but that little speck is a part of you, Ri."

"A part of me that I'm not ready to have yet."

Alex was lost for words. Not knowing what to say, he wrapped his arms around Rian so the other boy could rest his head on his shoulder. Rian put one arm around Alex, almost instantly bursting into tears. It was then that he felt four more arms join in the hug, and he could tell by the heavy breathing that Rian wasn't the only one crying. So was Jack. Alex lifted his tired eyes and met the dark orbs of his best friend. They were bloodshot and over flowing with tears. More pain that he'd managed to cause.

"Guys, I need to go," Rian sobbed. "I have to go see her."

"Let me drive you, bro," Zack was the first to pull away and stand up. He watched carefully as Jack and Alex dropped their arms and extended his own to help Ri up. "You can't go by yourself."

Rian nodded weakly, allowing Zack to pull him up. The each shot a wave before disappearing from the back yard. Jack sighed heavily, wiping the stray tears from his cheeks. It'd been a long, hard week.

"I think I'm gonna go get a beer," Jack mumbled, standing up to leave Alex alone.

"Wait, dude," Alex pushed his bangs away from his forehead. The wind was starting to pick up. He could only hope another storm wasn't about to blow through. "I think it's about time for us to talk."

"You know what, Alex?" Jack turned on his toes, a frustrated grin on his lips. "The world doesn't revovle around you, and it's about time someone had the guts to tell you about it. Your best friend just found out he's about to have a kid while he's still in High School. What could possibly be so bad in your life that you have to make it all about you?"

"Ouch," the older boy winced. Those words hurt like Hell. "Actually, I was just going to tell you how eye-opening all of this has been. Is that selfish of me? Perhaps. I've pretty much been a selfish dick my entire life. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for making you feel like dirt. I know Ri is going through more than I could ever fathom, but from the way you sat down and cried with him.. You're going through Hell, too, Jack. I want you to feel like you can talk to me about it. I don't want to be a stranger."

"You don't want to be a stranger? Really, Al? Don't you dare stand there and act like you know, for even one second, what the fuck I'm going through! You have no idea what it's like inside my head. There's a fucking battle going on up there, man!"

"Why do you think I don't know that?" Alex shoved his hands in his pockets. He wanted to avoid Jack's gaze because he knew he deserved every harsh word. "Things might be totally different between us, but you're still my best friend, and I know you better than I know myself."

"Obviously not. I just- I- Fuck! I just wish I didn't love you!" All those feelings were starting to rip through his heart again. Even with Alex standing there, adorable in his shame, Jack wanted to tell him everything was okay. He wanted Alex to know that he was willing to remain 'just friends' so things could go back to the way they were, but that was a reality that nearly killed him once. "Do you think I asked for this? Do you think I want to be hopelessly in love with the biggest man-whore in Baltimore? I don't want to love you while you love Lisa. I don't want to love you, period."

Alex took in all the venom coming from Jack's lips. Of course Jack didn't ask to fall in love with him. No one would ask to be bullied and tortued just because they loved someone openly. It had to be awful to watch Alex be with Lisa the way Jack wanted to be with him, and it was true that he'd been with more than his fair share of women, but that didn't make him any less human. Admittedly, it was hard to see through the thick shell Alex had built around himself, but he still had a beating heart in his chest and far more emotions than meets the eye.

"Let's be honest here, Jack. You don't really mind loving me, because if loving me was such a problem- You wouldn't. What's really driving you mad is that you want me to flick a switch and change everything about how I am. You want those feelings to be reciprocated so badly that its left you nothing but angry with me. So let me ask you this; What is love if it's not reciprocated, is it even love at all?"

"It's painful, that's what it is. And sure, it sucks that you're the most amazing human being that I've ever met. It totally sucks that you led me on, that you made me honestly believe that there was a chance for us.. Not being in love with you would be so much easier, Alex. You have no idea how hard it is to love you."

"Don't I?" Alex pulled his hands from his pockets and brushed a strand of hair from his eyes. A crooked grin appeared on his face. "I live with myself every single day, Jack. I might not know what it's like to be in your shoes, but you've no idea what it's like to be in mine. Maybe that's my problem, I don't love myself enough to let anyone really love me."

"Then let me show you, Alex," Jack pleaded. He took a few steps closer to the older boy, leaving just enough distance between them for Alex to make a move. "I can show you all the amazing things that I see in you. I can make you happy, I do make you happy, I know it. Lisa might be a good girl but she doesn't know you like I do, and she'll damn sure never love you like I do. I can be the best thing that ever happened to you!"

"But you already are, dude!" Now it was Alex who became angry. If Jack Barakat had one flaw, it was the he only saw things one-sided. "Why do you think you're my best friend? You're the only person in this entire world that has seen all the mistakes I've made, and yet you still love me. That alone should say something."

"It doesn't say enough. I don't wanna just be your best friend. I don't want to pretend like I'm going to welcome Lisa into my life with open arms because she's your girlfriend. I don't want to keep Rian in the dark, because we made a pact when All Time Low came together that we would always be honest with each other. Zack has been honestly, Rian has been honest and I've been honest. When are you going to be?"

"In all honesty, dude, you've got to give me some time. Put yourself in my shoes, this is a lot to take in. I just have so much to figure out."

"Okay, then," Jack shook his head. The tears were starting to form in his eyes again, which made him feel like even less of a man. As if it weren't bad enough that he was in love with his best friend. "I'm going to get that beer now."

Notes

This story is going to climax soon. (: