Dedication Takes a Lifetime But Dreams Only Last For a Night
I'm Not Gay.
"Boys! Wake up! It's 2:30 PM and I need you to babysit May while I run to the store." Alex groaned and yawned but got up. I moaned and said" Mom do we have to?" "Yes." "C'mon your sisters adorable!" Alex smiled looking as adorable as May. Alex was so sweet with May. I didn't want to admit it but I was falling in love. Hard. I stared at his lips, those pink, sweet looking lips. I wondered how they'd taste. Alex noticed I was staring at him again, ducked his head embarrassed and blushed. After my mom came home, Alex asked about the time."It's 4:00" "F-our? As in PM?" "Yep" Alex looked absolutely terrified. He was slightly shaking. "Alex, What's wrong? Are you okay?" "Oh My Fucking God. He'll fucking kill me. What do I do!" He didn't seem to notice I was talking to him. He was too busy muttering under his breath. I was so scared about him. "Who will kill you Alex?" "He won't kill me that'd be kindness. He'll beat my fucking body till I almost die." "Alex!!" I said shaking his shoulder. He looked dazed, like everything that had just happened was a dream. "What were you talking about? Who will beat you?" "Never mind. Forget I said anything! No one will beat me. I'll be fine." He looked like he was talking for his benefit as well as mine. I was so worried about him. "Alex talk to me!!" "There's nothing to say. Lets do something else." "Ok. Wanna play video games?" "You mean you wanna lose?" Alex teased looking relieved at the change of subject. "Oh you're on!" I'd find out. I didn't know how or when but I would!
Alex POV:
Four. Four. Four. The word kept crashing in my mind. I should have been home almost a day ago. I hadn't called or anything. Most parents might be upset but I knew my dad world probably do what he did last time which was stick my hand in a cup of boiling water or worse. I still had scars from that time. The pain was excruciating. I remember screaming so loud and my dad punching me. He'll fucking kill me. What do I do. He won't kill me. That would be kindness. He'll beat my fucking body till I die. "Alex! What were you talking about? Who will beat you?" Jack said shaking my shoulder. I didn't even realize I'd said the last part out loud. He couldn't know. He simply couldn't. Who knows what my dad'll do to me then. After failing at convincing him nothing's wrong he suggested we play video games. I wanted to prolong my returning home and forget the time bomb that was waiting for me there. When we played I couldn't help but look at Jacks cute faces. His tongue slipped out and he had a concentrated look in his eyes. It was adorable. What? I couldn't believe I had just thought that. Contrary to my dads curses I was straight. But Jack was so damn cute with his skunk hair puppy eyes and huge dorky nose that actually fit him. He was funny, sweet, he cared, and he saved me from Blake. "Ha I won!" He hollered doing a little victory dance. "I let you win because it's rude to camp at your house and beat your ass." I didn't want to admit that I was so busy staring at him that I wasn't looking at the game. "Yeah right! You were to busy staring at my hotness! But that's cool. I know it's hard to take your eyes of it." He joked striking a seductive pose. I suddenly noticed how close his lips were. I felt myself leaning in. Nooo you're straight my mind yelled but I knew it. I was gay for Jack Bassam Barakat. I didn't care. As our lips almost touched his mom entered saying "What do you want for dinn- Oh my!" "Mom it's nothing. We weren't doing anything. Calm down." "You- You're n-ot g-gay are you?" "Mom no! I'm straight." "Good. You know what we think about those kind of people." She turned and left us alone, clearly troubled about what she had seen. "Your Mom doesn't know you're gay?" I asked. "You are gay right?" "Yes I'm gay and no they dont know. They'd go crazy. They hate 'people like me'" He said sadly. "Are you gay?" "I ummm I don't know. I used to think I was straight but ummm..." I trailed of, positive you could literally feel the awkwardness. "Umm well. Wanna do something?" Said Jack, clearly flustered about my answer or the awkwardness. ״What time is it?" "It's about 8 why? You aren't going to freak like last time right?" Eight. My dad was probably home and noticing I was gone. He'd go crazy. I'd disappeared for more than 24 hours. He'd obviously noticed his son, no sorry punching bag was gone. I'd have to head home eventually seeing as I couldn't stay at Jacks forever. I was terrified of my dads reaction. "Jack I think I need to go home." I couldn't stay at Jacks forever, a burden on his family. Sooner or later I'd have to go back from Jacks perfect life to my fucked up one. ״Oh okay." He was disappointed but he'd get over it. The silence during the car was comforting, Jimmy Eat World singing. He dropped me of saying" Text or call me. See you on Monday." He gave me an infectious smile that I couldn't not return. "Sure. Thanks. Bye!" I took a deep breath and opened the door, ready to run in. "Well look who returned." My dad half sang, already drunk, cornering me. I suddenly notice the knife he held in his hand. I closed my eyes and willed this to be over. I didn't know if I would live through this.
Alex POV:
Four. Four. Four. The word kept crashing in my mind. I should have been home almost a day ago. I hadn't called or anything. Most parents might be upset but I knew my dad world probably do what he did last time which was stick my hand in a cup of boiling water or worse. I still had scars from that time. The pain was excruciating. I remember screaming so loud and my dad punching me. He'll fucking kill me. What do I do. He won't kill me. That would be kindness. He'll beat my fucking body till I die. "Alex! What were you talking about? Who will beat you?" Jack said shaking my shoulder. I didn't even realize I'd said the last part out loud. He couldn't know. He simply couldn't. Who knows what my dad'll do to me then. After failing at convincing him nothing's wrong he suggested we play video games. I wanted to prolong my returning home and forget the time bomb that was waiting for me there. When we played I couldn't help but look at Jacks cute faces. His tongue slipped out and he had a concentrated look in his eyes. It was adorable. What? I couldn't believe I had just thought that. Contrary to my dads curses I was straight. But Jack was so damn cute with his skunk hair puppy eyes and huge dorky nose that actually fit him. He was funny, sweet, he cared, and he saved me from Blake. "Ha I won!" He hollered doing a little victory dance. "I let you win because it's rude to camp at your house and beat your ass." I didn't want to admit that I was so busy staring at him that I wasn't looking at the game. "Yeah right! You were to busy staring at my hotness! But that's cool. I know it's hard to take your eyes of it." He joked striking a seductive pose. I suddenly noticed how close his lips were. I felt myself leaning in. Nooo you're straight my mind yelled but I knew it. I was gay for Jack Bassam Barakat. I didn't care. As our lips almost touched his mom entered saying "What do you want for dinn- Oh my!" "Mom it's nothing. We weren't doing anything. Calm down." "You- You're n-ot g-gay are you?" "Mom no! I'm straight." "Good. You know what we think about those kind of people." She turned and left us alone, clearly troubled about what she had seen. "Your Mom doesn't know you're gay?" I asked. "You are gay right?" "Yes I'm gay and no they dont know. They'd go crazy. They hate 'people like me'" He said sadly. "Are you gay?" "I ummm I don't know. I used to think I was straight but ummm..." I trailed of, positive you could literally feel the awkwardness. "Umm well. Wanna do something?" Said Jack, clearly flustered about my answer or the awkwardness. ״What time is it?" "It's about 8 why? You aren't going to freak like last time right?" Eight. My dad was probably home and noticing I was gone. He'd go crazy. I'd disappeared for more than 24 hours. He'd obviously noticed his son, no sorry punching bag was gone. I'd have to head home eventually seeing as I couldn't stay at Jacks forever. I was terrified of my dads reaction. "Jack I think I need to go home." I couldn't stay at Jacks forever, a burden on his family. Sooner or later I'd have to go back from Jacks perfect life to my fucked up one. ״Oh okay." He was disappointed but he'd get over it. The silence during the car was comforting, Jimmy Eat World singing. He dropped me of saying" Text or call me. See you on Monday." He gave me an infectious smile that I couldn't not return. "Sure. Thanks. Bye!" I took a deep breath and opened the door, ready to run in. "Well look who returned." My dad half sang, already drunk, cornering me. I suddenly notice the knife he held in his hand. I closed my eyes and willed this to be over. I didn't know if I would live through this.
Awwwwwwwwww this is amazing thank you
11/3/14