No such thing as simplicity.
6
The car stops outside of the oh so familiar apartment complex I briefly lived in. Immediately I regret the light-green knit dress I wear, emphasizing my baby bump.
I can’t help but look around the parking lot for any of their cars. I know that their cars would be in the ramp below the building. My feet are hardly able to start to carry me through the front door. I shouldn’t be this nervous. I lived here for fucks sake. I should be able to walk in without fearing for my own life.
Despite the pep talk I’m giving myself in my head the hairs on the back of my neck and arms stand on end anticipating someone to be standing behind the elevator doors or walk in while I wait. The small light above the metal doors flicks on, I straighten myself out and hold my breath as the doors open. I stand face to face with an empty elevator to my relief. I step in checking my phone to numb my mind while I rise to Alex’s floor.
I carry myself to his apartment, barely maintaining the air of confidence around me. The hall fills with the sound of my knuckles against the hard wood door and my foot tapping impatiently beneath me.
“Hey…” Alex scratches the back of his head as he opens the door groggily.
“Hey.” I stifle a laugh at his disheveled appearance.
“What’re you doing here?” He mumbles, his voice thick with sleep as he turns walking into his apartment, “It’s like… ten a.m.”
“I don’t know.” I shrug following him in and kicking my shoes off while he closes the door to Jacks apartment. “I figured I would get here early in case you had plans.”
“Ugh whatever.” Alex grumbles and pulls on the neck of the T-shirt he probably just put on to answer the door.
“Is Jack home?” I ask, making small talk, passing Alex and heading straight to the kitchen, craving something salty.
“Nah.” Lex gives into his state of awake and follows me into the kitchen. “Last time I checked he went home with a busty blonde last night.” I nod, naturally expecting that of Mr. Barakat.
“I’m making eggs.” I announce pulling them out of the fridge.
“You do that.” Alex starts up the stairs, “Make some for me. I’m going to shower quick.” I don’t bother to watch him walk upstairs, already focusing on finding somewhat healthy food in this mess of frozen pizza, liquor and other heavily processed food items. Baby may be mostly done growing but I read that eating healthy while pregnant helps a baby’s metabolism as well as makes them more symmetrical. I laugh a bit to myself thinking about how Zack must be really letting go of himself if he’s allowing this to happen.
I lay out two plates stacked with an omelet, toast, sausage and some frozen hash browns I decided to give into. I wait for the teakettle to whistle while I wait for Alex to come back, knowing how Black tea helps him feel better in the mornings, no matter what he says.
I wander around the room absentmindedly. I walk up to the stack of letters almost identical to the one Jack used to have in his apartment when I lived there. It was confusing to me as to how they got all the letters considering how they didn’t have a P.O. box. At least not one that I know of. I stand looking down at one glancing over the words.
Alex,
Hey, my name is Alyssa. I’m just writing to thank you for what you’ve done for me. Despite the fact that we’ve never met…
My fingers slide over the text as I push it to the side looking at the next one,
Hey Gaskarth :P
You really helped me out. Recently my parents got divorced and your song Backseat Serenade really got my mind off of things…
“You okay?” I jump a bit as Alex puts his hand on the small of my back,
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I laugh a bit,
“Because you haven’t been here for so long, and you miss it?” Alex raises an eyebrow at me posing it as a question.
“I do miss it.” I sigh and shrug, “I don’t know if I’m ready to come back to it though.” I continue to run my fingers over the writing on the pages, “I mean you guys don’t really live a family style life.”
“We could.” Alex looks down a frown pulling on the corners of his mouth.
“It wouldn’t be safe for a baby, not with all the alcohol and traveling.” I frown at him and turn to face him fully.
“I understand.” He nods thoughtfully, “I hope you do one day though. Maybe you can tell Matt and you and” Alex Pauses, “baby? Will come and visit us on tour and maybe spend a few nights with us.”
“I guess I just don’t know Alex. I’m scared to tell Matt, and I know how important his career is to him. I also know how much family means to him. I can’t see it as fair to make him choose.” He looks down at me with a kind, hopeful expression. “At least when it’s old enough.” He adds.
“Then don’t make him choose.” Alex retorts, “Let him keep touring. We’ll help find you a babysitter or something. A nanny for when he’s not there to help.”
“I’ll think about it, okay?” I mutter looking up into his eyes, his expression falls a bit though he tries to keep looking positive as he pulls me into a hug, which he holds for noticeably long. I feel my insides twist and shift against Alex.
“Oh my god!” He gasps and steps back putting his hands on my baby bump, “She’s kicking!” He laughs looking down wide eyed as baby lays still again.
“Isn’t it amazing?” I laugh, his mouth gaping a bit.
“I’ve never felt that before...” He mutters and closes his mouth smiling widely at me,
“I guess I’ve gotten used to it.” I shrug and rest a hand on top of his.
“Wait, I never asked.” His thumb rubs small circles on my belly, “Boy or Girl?” I laugh back at him softly and shake my head at him.
“To be honest I don’t know yet…”
“Why not?” Alex raises an eyebrow at me,
“I guess I’m too scared to…” I trail off uncomfortably
“Too scared to know?”
“I guess you could say that.” I sigh and laugh dryly,
“Are you going to find out the gender before it’s born?” Alex frowns.
“No..” I shrug, “I missed the opportunity. I’m not unhappy about it either.”
“Do you have any names in mind at least?”
“No… Not really.” I laugh.
“Please say you’ve at least started on the baby’s room.” Alex looks down at me while shaking his head.
“Nope.”
“You are an idiot.” Alex sighs and runs his hand through his damp hair, “I will not let this child come into a world that is not ready for her.”
“It.” I correct him.
“You said ‘Not really’ what DO you have in mind for names. No matter how shitty it is.”
“I don’t know.” I blush and look down, “Maybe Nick or Nikki.” Alex raises an eyebrow at me waiting,
“Okay… and?”
“Well, I was also thinking…” I sigh, ”Just because it’s a beautiful word. Not the meaning but Calamity?” Alex chuckles and smiles,
“Oh Calamity…” He sings,
“Partially that too.”
I can’t help but look around the parking lot for any of their cars. I know that their cars would be in the ramp below the building. My feet are hardly able to start to carry me through the front door. I shouldn’t be this nervous. I lived here for fucks sake. I should be able to walk in without fearing for my own life.
Despite the pep talk I’m giving myself in my head the hairs on the back of my neck and arms stand on end anticipating someone to be standing behind the elevator doors or walk in while I wait. The small light above the metal doors flicks on, I straighten myself out and hold my breath as the doors open. I stand face to face with an empty elevator to my relief. I step in checking my phone to numb my mind while I rise to Alex’s floor.
I carry myself to his apartment, barely maintaining the air of confidence around me. The hall fills with the sound of my knuckles against the hard wood door and my foot tapping impatiently beneath me.
“Hey…” Alex scratches the back of his head as he opens the door groggily.
“Hey.” I stifle a laugh at his disheveled appearance.
“What’re you doing here?” He mumbles, his voice thick with sleep as he turns walking into his apartment, “It’s like… ten a.m.”
“I don’t know.” I shrug following him in and kicking my shoes off while he closes the door to Jacks apartment. “I figured I would get here early in case you had plans.”
“Ugh whatever.” Alex grumbles and pulls on the neck of the T-shirt he probably just put on to answer the door.
“Is Jack home?” I ask, making small talk, passing Alex and heading straight to the kitchen, craving something salty.
“Nah.” Lex gives into his state of awake and follows me into the kitchen. “Last time I checked he went home with a busty blonde last night.” I nod, naturally expecting that of Mr. Barakat.
“I’m making eggs.” I announce pulling them out of the fridge.
“You do that.” Alex starts up the stairs, “Make some for me. I’m going to shower quick.” I don’t bother to watch him walk upstairs, already focusing on finding somewhat healthy food in this mess of frozen pizza, liquor and other heavily processed food items. Baby may be mostly done growing but I read that eating healthy while pregnant helps a baby’s metabolism as well as makes them more symmetrical. I laugh a bit to myself thinking about how Zack must be really letting go of himself if he’s allowing this to happen.
I lay out two plates stacked with an omelet, toast, sausage and some frozen hash browns I decided to give into. I wait for the teakettle to whistle while I wait for Alex to come back, knowing how Black tea helps him feel better in the mornings, no matter what he says.
I wander around the room absentmindedly. I walk up to the stack of letters almost identical to the one Jack used to have in his apartment when I lived there. It was confusing to me as to how they got all the letters considering how they didn’t have a P.O. box. At least not one that I know of. I stand looking down at one glancing over the words.
Alex,
Hey, my name is Alyssa. I’m just writing to thank you for what you’ve done for me. Despite the fact that we’ve never met…
My fingers slide over the text as I push it to the side looking at the next one,
Hey Gaskarth :P
You really helped me out. Recently my parents got divorced and your song Backseat Serenade really got my mind off of things…
“You okay?” I jump a bit as Alex puts his hand on the small of my back,
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I laugh a bit,
“Because you haven’t been here for so long, and you miss it?” Alex raises an eyebrow at me posing it as a question.
“I do miss it.” I sigh and shrug, “I don’t know if I’m ready to come back to it though.” I continue to run my fingers over the writing on the pages, “I mean you guys don’t really live a family style life.”
“We could.” Alex looks down a frown pulling on the corners of his mouth.
“It wouldn’t be safe for a baby, not with all the alcohol and traveling.” I frown at him and turn to face him fully.
“I understand.” He nods thoughtfully, “I hope you do one day though. Maybe you can tell Matt and you and” Alex Pauses, “baby? Will come and visit us on tour and maybe spend a few nights with us.”
“I guess I just don’t know Alex. I’m scared to tell Matt, and I know how important his career is to him. I also know how much family means to him. I can’t see it as fair to make him choose.” He looks down at me with a kind, hopeful expression. “At least when it’s old enough.” He adds.
“Then don’t make him choose.” Alex retorts, “Let him keep touring. We’ll help find you a babysitter or something. A nanny for when he’s not there to help.”
“I’ll think about it, okay?” I mutter looking up into his eyes, his expression falls a bit though he tries to keep looking positive as he pulls me into a hug, which he holds for noticeably long. I feel my insides twist and shift against Alex.
“Oh my god!” He gasps and steps back putting his hands on my baby bump, “She’s kicking!” He laughs looking down wide eyed as baby lays still again.
“Isn’t it amazing?” I laugh, his mouth gaping a bit.
“I’ve never felt that before...” He mutters and closes his mouth smiling widely at me,
“I guess I’ve gotten used to it.” I shrug and rest a hand on top of his.
“Wait, I never asked.” His thumb rubs small circles on my belly, “Boy or Girl?” I laugh back at him softly and shake my head at him.
“To be honest I don’t know yet…”
“Why not?” Alex raises an eyebrow at me,
“I guess I’m too scared to…” I trail off uncomfortably
“Too scared to know?”
“I guess you could say that.” I sigh and laugh dryly,
“Are you going to find out the gender before it’s born?” Alex frowns.
“No..” I shrug, “I missed the opportunity. I’m not unhappy about it either.”
“Do you have any names in mind at least?”
“No… Not really.” I laugh.
“Please say you’ve at least started on the baby’s room.” Alex looks down at me while shaking his head.
“Nope.”
“You are an idiot.” Alex sighs and runs his hand through his damp hair, “I will not let this child come into a world that is not ready for her.”
“It.” I correct him.
“You said ‘Not really’ what DO you have in mind for names. No matter how shitty it is.”
“I don’t know.” I blush and look down, “Maybe Nick or Nikki.” Alex raises an eyebrow at me waiting,
“Okay… and?”
“Well, I was also thinking…” I sigh, ”Just because it’s a beautiful word. Not the meaning but Calamity?” Alex chuckles and smiles,
“Oh Calamity…” He sings,
“Partially that too.”
Notes
Hey you guys! I hope you like this chapter. Tell me if you do because it gives me happy love feelings. OH AND MY BIRFDAY HAPPENEDAND THE DOCTOR WHO 50TH OMFG
I love it
1/17/14