No such thing as simplicity.
2
I open my eyes to the loud ringing of my alarm.
“C’mon Hanna.” Sygird, my new roommate walks into my bedroom and shakes my leg. “You and baby have to get to school.” He smiles. I groan and roll over in my bed, hindered slightly by the bump jutting out from my torso.
When I left All Time Low from tour I went back home. Only to be rejected by my mother and forced to find my own living arrangements, so I got my college savings and applied to any place I knew of. The University Of Maryland, Baltimore Campus accepted me, and it was top of a very short list of acceptances.
“I don’t wanna get educated..” I moan and kick my feet slightly to shake him away from me.
“Come on.” He laughs and pulls my blanket off of me. “Maddy is getting ready too so that she can drive you.”
“Wht does Maddy have to drive me?” I mumble and sit up in bed.
“Because you can’t have my car today. Remember? Today I have work and no classes.” He throws a black tank top and leggings at me.
“Oh right.” I mumble and get up. Not caring if he sees me naked while I change. Sygird has been the person to go with me to all the sonograms and doctors appointments. So he’s seen practically everything.
“If you got your own car we wouldn’t have this problem.” He teases, “I’ll be downstairs. I’m making waffles.” I watch him as he walks out of the room. Lately Sygird has been my best friend and only person I can really talk to. Not since I left Minesota, and not since I lost contact with Jack.
For the first week Jack would text me daily. Sometimes every hour. I would get phone calls from Matt every morning and it’d break my heart to listen to the voicemails he’d leave me.
“Hanna I don’t know what I did wrong but whatever it was. Please tell me. So I can fix it. So I can be better. I just need to know. Do you still care about us? Jack was pretty broken up when you left. He had trouble at the Meet and Greet tonight too. A girl came up to him and asked how you were and he couldnt answer. I love you Hanna. Please call me back.”
I couldn’t bear hearing him like that. Every morning he’d leave me a messege. I still have most of them on my phone. I listen to them and cry, in sheer hatred of the fact that I left them. Hating that I had to get that drunk that night and ruin my own life forever. Why am I so greedy?
Then I’d get a text from Alex. Just telling me how Matt was doing. Reminding me of how much they care. I’d try my best to ignore them. But sometimes I still cry. The best time of my life was with those idiots and I blew it.
“HANNA!” I can hear Maddie shout from downstairs.
“Sorry!” I groan and walk down stairs composing myself. Trying to push the thoughts of Matt to the back of my mind miserably. Sometimes the regret of leaving him is the only thing that makes me feel connected to him.
I jog downstairs quickly, to all three of my roommates standing around the kitchen eating different foods, I have Sygird, Madison and Jakob. Also known as Maddie and Jake.
“Hanna!” Maddie snaps knocking me back into reality.
“Sorry.” I mutter and look at her slowly forcusing on her face again. “I’m just daydreaming.”
“Is this about...” She asks eyebrows raised. All three of them know about the past few years of my life. Maddie knows a tiny bit more then the boys though probably.
“Maybe.” I blush and look down,
“Come on sweetheart. Lets go to class.” She sighs. I pick up my backpack.
“Here.” Sygird walks up to me and hands me a waffle, spreaded with nutella rolled up lik a burrito. “Breckfast to go.” He smiles and pecks my cheek.
“Thanks.” I smile back at him and follow maddie out to the car.
“What is it this time?” She asks looking over at me, knowing I’ll probably want to vent about the same old regrets I always vent to her about on car rides like this. Maddie is a great friend, but I just can’t talk to her today.
It gets harder for me to tell her about my dreams of touring again. My dreams where I’m back in the front lounge with a group of men that finally made me feel accepted. All of us singing together. Not caring how we sounded and just laughing because we’re all happy.
I do have a new family. I have Maddie, Sygird and Jake but it’s just not the same. All Time Low and I chose eachother. I was interviewed into my current family.
And if these nagging feelings aren’t enough, I have to wonder about the 35 week old child inside of me. A baby that is planning on coming out in seven weeks. I don’t have the furnature of it. I’ll hardly have the money to take care of it. Hardly enough time to take care of it.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to be a single mother.” I look over at Maddie who raises her eyebrows at me.
“Well it’s to late to abort the little fucker.” She laughs, “And you won’t be a single parent. You have all three of us to support you and if that’s not enough we can all go to an All Time Low concert, hold the little shit above out heads and yell at Flyzik to give us money.” She smiles at me devilishly.
“Thats a possibility. Only issue is, you would probably blow its ears out by the speakers.” I laugh, “It’d be smarter to go to a meet and greet.”
“Oooh good plan.” She laughs and parks the car, the short ride to campus already over.
“Well thank you.” I smile back at her and slide out, pulling my backpack out with me.
“Hanna, you’ll be fine don’t worry.” She walks around the car and pecks my cheek. “We’ll all be here for you and help you out. I got to go to class. Meet me back here?”
“Yeah.” I smile at her and watch for a moment as she walks off to the other side of campus. While I go directly to the English building.
“C’mon Hanna.” Sygird, my new roommate walks into my bedroom and shakes my leg. “You and baby have to get to school.” He smiles. I groan and roll over in my bed, hindered slightly by the bump jutting out from my torso.
When I left All Time Low from tour I went back home. Only to be rejected by my mother and forced to find my own living arrangements, so I got my college savings and applied to any place I knew of. The University Of Maryland, Baltimore Campus accepted me, and it was top of a very short list of acceptances.
“I don’t wanna get educated..” I moan and kick my feet slightly to shake him away from me.
“Come on.” He laughs and pulls my blanket off of me. “Maddy is getting ready too so that she can drive you.”
“Wht does Maddy have to drive me?” I mumble and sit up in bed.
“Because you can’t have my car today. Remember? Today I have work and no classes.” He throws a black tank top and leggings at me.
“Oh right.” I mumble and get up. Not caring if he sees me naked while I change. Sygird has been the person to go with me to all the sonograms and doctors appointments. So he’s seen practically everything.
“If you got your own car we wouldn’t have this problem.” He teases, “I’ll be downstairs. I’m making waffles.” I watch him as he walks out of the room. Lately Sygird has been my best friend and only person I can really talk to. Not since I left Minesota, and not since I lost contact with Jack.
For the first week Jack would text me daily. Sometimes every hour. I would get phone calls from Matt every morning and it’d break my heart to listen to the voicemails he’d leave me.
“Hanna I don’t know what I did wrong but whatever it was. Please tell me. So I can fix it. So I can be better. I just need to know. Do you still care about us? Jack was pretty broken up when you left. He had trouble at the Meet and Greet tonight too. A girl came up to him and asked how you were and he couldnt answer. I love you Hanna. Please call me back.”
I couldn’t bear hearing him like that. Every morning he’d leave me a messege. I still have most of them on my phone. I listen to them and cry, in sheer hatred of the fact that I left them. Hating that I had to get that drunk that night and ruin my own life forever. Why am I so greedy?
Then I’d get a text from Alex. Just telling me how Matt was doing. Reminding me of how much they care. I’d try my best to ignore them. But sometimes I still cry. The best time of my life was with those idiots and I blew it.
“HANNA!” I can hear Maddie shout from downstairs.
“Sorry!” I groan and walk down stairs composing myself. Trying to push the thoughts of Matt to the back of my mind miserably. Sometimes the regret of leaving him is the only thing that makes me feel connected to him.
I jog downstairs quickly, to all three of my roommates standing around the kitchen eating different foods, I have Sygird, Madison and Jakob. Also known as Maddie and Jake.
“Hanna!” Maddie snaps knocking me back into reality.
“Sorry.” I mutter and look at her slowly forcusing on her face again. “I’m just daydreaming.”
“Is this about...” She asks eyebrows raised. All three of them know about the past few years of my life. Maddie knows a tiny bit more then the boys though probably.
“Maybe.” I blush and look down,
“Come on sweetheart. Lets go to class.” She sighs. I pick up my backpack.
“Here.” Sygird walks up to me and hands me a waffle, spreaded with nutella rolled up lik a burrito. “Breckfast to go.” He smiles and pecks my cheek.
“Thanks.” I smile back at him and follow maddie out to the car.
“What is it this time?” She asks looking over at me, knowing I’ll probably want to vent about the same old regrets I always vent to her about on car rides like this. Maddie is a great friend, but I just can’t talk to her today.
It gets harder for me to tell her about my dreams of touring again. My dreams where I’m back in the front lounge with a group of men that finally made me feel accepted. All of us singing together. Not caring how we sounded and just laughing because we’re all happy.
I do have a new family. I have Maddie, Sygird and Jake but it’s just not the same. All Time Low and I chose eachother. I was interviewed into my current family.
And if these nagging feelings aren’t enough, I have to wonder about the 35 week old child inside of me. A baby that is planning on coming out in seven weeks. I don’t have the furnature of it. I’ll hardly have the money to take care of it. Hardly enough time to take care of it.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to be a single mother.” I look over at Maddie who raises her eyebrows at me.
“Well it’s to late to abort the little fucker.” She laughs, “And you won’t be a single parent. You have all three of us to support you and if that’s not enough we can all go to an All Time Low concert, hold the little shit above out heads and yell at Flyzik to give us money.” She smiles at me devilishly.
“Thats a possibility. Only issue is, you would probably blow its ears out by the speakers.” I laugh, “It’d be smarter to go to a meet and greet.”
“Oooh good plan.” She laughs and parks the car, the short ride to campus already over.
“Well thank you.” I smile back at her and slide out, pulling my backpack out with me.
“Hanna, you’ll be fine don’t worry.” She walks around the car and pecks my cheek. “We’ll all be here for you and help you out. I got to go to class. Meet me back here?”
“Yeah.” I smile at her and watch for a moment as she walks off to the other side of campus. While I go directly to the English building.
Notes
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1,091 words
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1/17/14