Alex paced up and down Zack's bedroom carpet, sniffing his breath and under his arms.
“Do you think I should have another shower? I'm gonna brush my teeth again.”
Zack clutched the boy's arm as he walked out of the door and chuckled,
“Chill out, you've had three showers and brushed your teeth seven times.”
“Fine.”
The student plopped down on his best friend's bed and groaned,
“Oh god, what if there's awkward silences?!”
He was excited and nervous at the same time, and that was making the butterflies in his gut feel more like Japanese throwing stars.
“I hope I don't embarrass myself or something.”
“I hope you last, it's bee a while man.”
Alex scowled at Zack's smug statement and groaned as he looked at the clock.
“It's twenty to seven, I should leave.”
“Good luck buddy.”
“Thanks, I think I'll need it.”
The boy jogged in to the hallway, locking his new flat's door behind him before galloping down the stairs, out the front door and towards Jack's house. The cold, December air bit at his skin and he shivered a little as his feet took him to his date’s flat. The boy took a deep breath, hoping Jack would like this, and knocked on the big door. Jack’s head popped round the corner as it opened and a smile soon spread across the teacher’s face.
“Alex! Come in, I’ll be two secs.”
The teen smirked at Jack’s shorts and vest.
“Get low?”
The elder man blushed and flagged Alex off.
“Shut up, I like these shorts.”
Alex waved to Matt and awkwardly leant against the front door as Jack disappeared through a door the teen assumed to be his bedroom.
“Dude I don’t bite. Sit down.”
The boy smiled softly at his date’s room mate and plopped down on the nicest sofa he’d ever seen.
“Your flat’s really clean.”
“Thanks, I try and keep it clean. Not that Jack helps at all.”
Alex chuckled at the likeness between Matt and his mum before folding his legs under him and smiling as Jack re appeared from his bedroom.
The teacher wore baggy, grey shorts that ended just above his knees, showing off his brown, hairy shins. A casual, long sleeved grey jumper covered his torso and his blonde, streaked hair was even messier than his bed head.
“How the hell are you wearing shorts? It’s the middle of winter!”
“It’s the seventh of December, and it’s not that cold.”
Jack smirked as he looked over Alex’s brown, skinny jeans and white, long sleeved shirt. An unzipped, leather jacket hung over the edges of his torso and a black scarf was wrapped round his neck. Both men looked incredibly attractive.
“Ready to go?”
The pair walked around town, looking in to shop windows and browsing.
“Hey, lets go in here.”
Jack laughed as Alex dragged him in to a Goodwill store and shoved him towards the changing room.
“Stay here.”
“What are you doing?”
“Well, you’re used to Matt dressing you up like a Ken doll, why can’t I?”
A blush etched itself across the teachers’ cheeks and he sighed, smiling as Alex came back a while later, his arms piled high with clothes.
“Go.”
They spent over three hours in that store, dressing each other up in the ugliest outfits they could find, even using women’s clothing. They came out with sore sides from laughing so hard and millions of pictures, filled with either cringing or smiling faces as they wore the most ridiculous outfits anyone had ever seen.
“This is the most fun I’ve had since college. I love being a teacher, don’t get me wrong, but it’s all the lesson planning and paper grading that kills me. I never go out any more. This is really nice.”
Alex smiled and hummed in agreement.
“I’m always studying. It’s killing me.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Me? I’d love to be a musician, but I don’t have the confidence. I’ve only sung in front of you, Rian and Zack. I wont even sing in front of my parents.”
Jack smiled proudly, feeling honoured, and poked Alex’s arm.
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know... Probably be a social worker or something. I enjoy stuff like that. I’ve thought about being a music teacher, people who go private make a bomb.”
Jack nodded along and Alex tugged Jack round a corner, twining their fingers together and making Jack blush.
“Lets get some food.”
The two men walked in to a small dinner, hidden away on the corner of a messy, abandoned street down an alley. The dinner was beautiful, deep reds and dark pines added to the colour pallet and checked red and white cloths hung over wood tables in red, leather booths.
“Alex! Long time no see! And you brought a date! Finally!”
The teen chuckled, embarrassed, and smiled at the middle aged woman pulling him in to a hug. She was about five foot four, long, dark grey hair handing down straight to her thighs. Her name was Moira, he’d known her from being a little boy. She’d worked here since she was sixteen - that was forty years in one place.
“Table for two?”
“Please Moira.”
“I’ll tell Jeff to get your usual. Take a seat over in the back.”
The men walked through the fairly empty dinner and sat at their allocated seats.
“This place is amazing. How come she knows you? And who’s Jeff?”
Jack smiled politely as Moira handed him a menu and kissed Alex’s cheek before walking back in to the kitchen.
“My dad used to take me here every day after school when I was little, and ever since I was fifteen I’ve been trying to come here as often as possible. These people are like my second family. Jeff’s the cook. He’s awesome. He’s nearly sixty, and he’s a big guy. At least nineteen stone and covered in tattoos.”
Jack nodded to show he was listening and closed his menu after he’d picked. The old lady came back again, took Jack’s order, and brought both men food after about a minuet. It turned out both boy’s had ordered the same thing – Mac and cheese.
“Seriously? Look, we’re both six year olds.”
Alex laughed and nodded at Jack’s statement.
“Totally.”
“So, other than Blink, what bands are you in to?”
Alex leaned over his plate and smiled at Jack as he asked the question.
“I’m really in to Jack’s mannequin. What about you?”
“Nirvana I guess, and Jack’s mannequin too.”
The elder man nodded, a grin spreading across his face as he did so. Silence followed as both men sipped at their water or took a bite of food, but it was a comfortable silence.
“So what do you do when you’re not in the house studying?”
Alex blushed and looked down at his plate.
“Hang out with my friends.”
“I bet you’re a part person. You look like a party person.”
Alex chuckled and muttered under his breath,
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“What?”
“Oh-Urm, I said I guess.”
The older man nodded, looking Alex over warily, and the younger boy repeated the question to him.
“Getting drunk. I like getting drunk. And when I’m not drunk or at work I’m helping Matt out with his band or writing music myself and everything. You know that feeling though right? You’re a musician.”
The student nodded, pushing his empty plate away from him and taking a sip of water.
“Why did you and your band break up by the way?”
“Oh, one of the members is my ex. When me and him broke up it was a little awkward for me to stay around, we kept arguing all the way through practice and we weren’t focusing properly when we were performing.”
The teacher nodded in understanding and smiled as Moira came back to the table with a notepad.
“Dessert boys?”
“Please Moira. My usual, and Jack’ll have...”
“Cheesecake please.”
“Right then! One cheesecake and one brownie sundae.”
Once the old woman had left the table, her hair swishing behind her as he small legs walked towards the kitchen, Jack folded his legs under himself and smiled.
“Alex talks about you all the time in class. You guys are really close aren’t you?”
“He’s the most important thing to me. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone like I love that kid.”
Jack smiled fondly, hearing Alex talk so passionately about his brother.
“He’s a great kid. Majorly talented.”
“He really is. How’s teaching by the way?”
“Teaching’s great. When I’m doing it my way anyway. I became a teacher so that I could make school interesting for kids, so they’d actually want to come in. I hated school so much, and I wanted to make sure others didn’t.”
“That’s amazing.”
“Thanks.”
A dark, pink blush spread across Jack’s cheeks and he smiled shyly, looking down at his feet.
“How was school for you? Did you hate it as much as me?”
“I can’t really remember that much from school. When I was eight we moved over here from Essex in England. Then I spent a while being lonely and depressed, and then I found Zack. We’ve been best friends since we were ten. We both never really went to school that much, I think we just didn’t see the point. But I’m trying to make up for all that lost time now, I’m working hard.”
Jack nodded and looked outside.
“It’s pretty dark. What time is it?”
“Six.”
“Wow... We’ve been in here a while.”
“Just over two hours. Lets eat and get going, I have somewhere I wanna take you.”
The teacher smiled at Alex’s sneaky smirk and shrugged,
“Whatever.”
About and hour later and Alex was tugging Jack through busy, crowded streets, their hands tangled together.
“Where are we going?”
Jack shouted over the noise of people that were closing in on him.
“It’s a surprise!”
Light were everywhere, the city centre bustling and full of music and life in the evening. A light layer of frost crunched under the male’s feet and the cold bit at his bare shins, making Jack smirk as he replayed Alex’s words from earlier in his head.
“How the hell are you wearing shorts? It’s the middle of winter!”
I guess I should have listened.
The teenager yanked Jack out of the edge of town, jogging ahead of the elder man as he cautiously trod over the ice.
“What are you doing?!”
Alex laughed, pulling Jack in front of him, and pointed to a fence with planks of wood nailed to it.
“We’re going to climb over there.”
“What? Why?”
“Because there’s something amazing behind it.”
Alex gave the teacher a leg up over the high, metal barricades and flipped himself over after, landing on his knees as he flew over on to the ground.
“What do you think?”
Jack was amazed.
Alex had taken Jack to an old playground. The moonlight reflected off the surface of a dirty, large pond in front of some trees and an old, cracked, wooden bench sat in front of it. A gold plaque was attached to the top of the seats, shining under the icy stars, and flowers surrounded it. A swing set was placed a few metres in front of that, red paint flaking away on old, steel bars. Two swing seats creaked as they rocked back and forth in the wind and soggy, crumpled mats were pinned to the ground beneath them. A yellow, plastic slide was attached to the end of some monkey bars and the base of a merry-go-round was stuck in between all of it, the handle bars tossed down by the lake.
“Oh my god. How did you find this place?”
“My dad used to take me here when I was younger, there was a crack in the fencing, but then when I was around twelve they covered the crack up so my dad stopped. I’d sometimes come here to write and think, just hopped over the fence and sat by the lake or in the woods.”
“This place is awesome.”
“I know right?”
Jack sat on a swing, smiling as Alex sat next to him and rocked back and forth on his heels in the cold, December wind.
“I guess you and your dad used to be pretty close then?”
Alex sighed and nodded.
“Used to be.”
“What happened?”
“He’s homophobic. I didn’t know that before I told him I was gay, if I did I wouldn’t have said anything. He told me to get out, that I was worthless scum and that I was no longer his son. My mum tried to fight him off me, but he’s stronger than her, so he dragged me outside by my hair and shouted everything out on the street. He screamed at me, telling me to go live on the streets and become a whore cos that’s all I’d ever be good enough for. Lets just say from then on me and him were a lot less close.”
The older male sighed and bit his lip as Alex wiped away the hot tears that were trickling down his soft, pale cheeks. Jack moved towards the boy and swiped a thumb under Alex’s left cheek, leaving his hand resting against his head.
“Don’t cry about a dick like that. He doesn’t deserve your tears, alright? Being gay isn’t a decision or a phase you’re going through, it’s who you are. It’s not wrong, it’s completely natural, and he had no right to treat you like that.”
Alex sniffled, smiling softly, and chuckled.
“Thanks. We tolerate each other now, but I’m not really that bothered about re building a relationship with him. How was it when you came out?”
“My parents were really accepting about it. Some of the kids at school weren’t, I lost a lot of friends, but my closest friends stood by me and said they sort of knew anyway so that was fine.”
“How old were you when you decided you liked guys?”
“About twelve. I guess I started to realise everyone was talking about girls and I wasn’t interested, and then when I was about fourteen or fifteen that was it. I was definitely gay. Cos that’s when you’re supposed to get a girlfriend and everything, but I had a huge crush on one of the boys in my class. So yeah, I was about fourteen. You?”
“The same. I came out to my parents and friends on my fifteenth birthday.”
Silence followed Alex’s statement, occasionally broken by the younger boy’s sniffs and the creaking of the swing set.
“Have you ever been in a long term relationship?”
Alex jumped as Jack broke the silence.
“Yeah I have.”
“What happened?”
“It was the guy from my band. He was the lead guitarist. His name’s Caleb Turman, he’s a lanky, ginger twat.”
Jack chuckled at Alex’s venom filled words and the younger boy joined in, pushing Jack playfully.
“What?! He is!”
“Anyway?”
“Yeah, anyway.... We were the cutest thing ever. That was the most serious relationship I’d ever been in which isn’t saying much anyway but never mind. We were together for two years, we broke up just under two months ago.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.”
“Why’d you break up?”
“I found him sleeping with our drummer on our two year anniversary. That was fun.”
“Wow. Low blow, I’m sorry dude.”
“Yeah... So lets just say there was tension between all three of us after that. We gave it a while, tried to sort things out, but I couldn’t do it so we broke up. Then after that he went all crazy psycho and came to my house every day. He stalked me at school and called me all the time. It was a little weird to say the least. Now he’d in a relationship with our drummer and from what I’ve heard they’re happy. I’m glad he found someone actually, at least now he’s leaving me alone.”
“Do you still love him?”
“I guess. You never really stop loving someone, but we were best friends before we started dating. I think it’s because I still love him a little that I’m so happy for him. I want him to e happy, he obviously wasn’t happy with me. I’ll never go back to him though.”
The teacher nodded, swinging his legs back and forth, lifting the swing seat in to the air.
“What about you Jack?”
“I’ve never had a serious relationship. Not because I don’t want one or because I’m scared of commitment or anything like that, just because I haven’t found the right person yet.”
“It’s probably best.”
The teacher hummed in agreement and Alex laughed.
“This is the most depressing date I’ve ever been on.”
The younger boy stuck his arm out and touched Jack’s shoulder.
“Tag! You’re it!”
The boy ran towards the lake and Jack chuckled, jogging after him with a smirk on his face.
A while later and Alex and Jack were walking hand in hand down the street, both licking an Ice-Cream. Alex led the elder man down an alley that went straight to his block of flats. They finally reached the huge building and Alex giggled as Jack tickled the teenager as soon as the lift door had shut. Alex smashed his vanilla ice cream in to the teacher nose and burst in to laughter as the elder man gasped dramatically and took a wide step back. The two men ran out in to the hallway as the doors dinged open, Jack hot on Alex’s tail. The teacher followed his date in to a flat and smiled, out of breath, as he saw a muscly man sat on the sofa watching TV.
“Excuse me?”
Zack jumped and cursed under his breath.
“Shit man you scared me.... What have you got all over your face?”
“Alex’s ice-cream. Speaking of Alex, do you know where he is?”
“He ran in to the bathroom.”
Zack pointed towards the door and smiled as he stood up and pulled a coat on.
“Well, I’m going to go get very drunk. Catch ya later.”
Jack chuckled at Alex’s room mate and waved as the boy slammed the door shut behind him. The teacher walked in to the bathroom and laughed as he found Alex giggling, sat on the sink.
“I think you’ve got something on your face.”
After Jack was all clean and fresh, the sticky substance gone from his face, both men were curled up on Alex’s tatty sofa watching Home Alone.
“I’m still so happy you have this on DVD. You have no clue how much I love this movie.”
“I think I get it, you’ve said every single line since it started.”
The teacher chuckled, embarrassed, and pouted.
“I like this film.”
“I can tell.”
The TV crackled before completely shutting off, the screen going blank while the lights went out.
“Fuck. I told him to feed the meter.”
“It’s ok, I can still see.”
The street lights shone brightly through the clear, un curtained windows that were on either side of the living room and glittered in Jack’s spiky hair. The teacher twisted round to face Alex and smiled as the younger boy chuckled.
“I actually sort of like this.”
“Actually.... Me too.”
Jack moved closer to the young boy, his breath fanned out across the teen’s lips, their noses touching. Alex’s tongue darted across his mouth before Jack smiled and pushed their lips together, and to no one’s surprise, Alex kissed back.

Notes

i told you it got better
urg i want this
look they kissed!