I Won't Let You Choke On Your Misery
Chapter 19
We suggested that it might have been a better idea if me and Alice waited for them in their dressing room, but the guys insisted we tagged along. I think Jack could sense my tension. The idea of being in the same room as 60 adoring fans terrified me. I was sure they were all lovely people, but I wasn’t sure how they would react to me and Alice being there. We were walking a little behind the band. Surprisingly, Alice even looked a little nervous which was not like her at all.
But we had no reason to be nervous. It was so great to watch the guys with their fans. They treated every one of them as friends, being especially kind to the shy or upset ones. Apart from the odd curious look me and Alice were barely noticed sat on the side lines, which was fine by us. The guys took pictures with them all and signed anything passed in their direction with a patient smile. I was trying not to, but I couldn’t help watching Jack as he circulated round the room. He approached a girl stood by herself who looked a little dazed. He put his arm around her and as he spoke to her, she began to smile and come out of herself more. A strange lump appeared in my throat, she reminded me of me. I smiled in their direction and Jack met my gaze. I was embarrassed to be caught staring at him and I quickly looked away, trying to hide my reddening face. Alice looked at me with a grin.
“What are you blushing at Rose?” she teased. I buried my face in my hands and Alice laughed at me.
“Don’t act like you’re not watching Zack-” I looked back up to her and stopped talking when I saw the look on her face. She was staring over my shoulder with an expression that was hard to recognise. Shocked, angry even. I turned behind me to follow her gaze and understood immediately. Stood amongst the group now surrounding Jack was Fiona.
“What the hell is she doing here” Alice spoke through her teeth. Neither of us had seen her since I had ended our friendship, and I was under the impression that I would never see her again. Now I was watching her look at Jack with gooey eyes and smiling at him like butter wouldn’t melt.
“She’s not destroying something else, I won’t let her” Alice shot up from her seat and began to walk in her direction.
“Alice, don’t. You’ll make a scene!” I pulled her back.
“Cool it, please? For me?” I was by no means thrilled to see Fiona, but I wanted an argument even less. Alice huffed and sat back down, crossing her arms like a stropping child. I couldn’t help smiling a little at her face. I hugged her and sat back down too.
“Thank you. You know I appreciate it right? She’s just not worth it.”
“Thanks bestie” Fiona’s voice was full of sarcasm. I turned; she stood with her arms crossed. She was a lot less passive than I remembered her. I stood to face her, Alice stood a little behind me but still at my side. What was i supposed to say to that? I didn’t want any trouble, but it looked as if that’s exactly what I was going to get.
“Look, Fiona. This is uncomfortable for all of us, trust me. But this is not the time. Just leave us and we’ll leave you.” I kept my voice flat.
“What are you doing here?” She acted as if I hadn’t spoken at all.
“That’s really nothing to do with you.” Alice was a lot less composed than I was.
“And I really wasn’t talking to you, so go play protective friend somewhere else yeah?” Fiona spat back.
“You have a serious attitude problem, do you know that? Considering what you’ve done you should be kissing Rose’s ass or crawling out of your own.” Alice’s voice was getting louder. Something was going to kick off any second. The tension in this side of the room hadn’t gone unnoticed either; Alex shot a worried look at me. I had to do something.
“Fiona if you really insist on talking right now, let’s talk outside. Don’t want you ruining someone else’s day.” She was starting to really piss me off. She laughed without humour and walked through the door. Alice went to follow her, I pulled her back.
“I need to sort this.” She wasn’t happy about it, but she accepted it. I headed for the door unsure what to expect. It wasn’t going to be pretty.
I stood facing Fiona, waiting for her to speak. She just glared at me.
“So. What is it you want to say to me Fiona?” I sighed, crossing my arms. I really didn’t want to be having this conversation right now, everything was going so perfectly. She smirked at me.
“How long have you got?” Alice was right about her attitude problem.
“Stop playing games for once in your life and spit it out.” She slowly walked towards me.
“How long have I been your friend Rose?”
“What the hell are you-“ She interrupted me.
“How long!” Fiona repeated herself, raising her voice.
“Too long” I wasn’t going to let her get to me. When I said goodbye to her the last time, I had meant it. Her existence didn’t affect me anymore.
“See, that’s what I thought. But obviously not long enough for you to forgive a stupid mistake.”
“Stupid mistake? Are you serious Fiona? What planet are you on!”
“It was only a worthless card!”
“If you knew me at all you’d know how much that meant to me.”
“Oh give up on the loyal daughter act, you didn’t even like him let alone love him.”
“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! DON’T YOU EVER. EVER! SAY THAT!” I was losing it with her. I was unaware at the time that Jack and Alice were on the other side of the door listening in.
“You know what? I’m glad that we aren’t friends anymore. And I’m glad I ripped up that shitty card. You are a worthless piece of existence, a waste of air. And I am THRILLED. THAT YOUR DAD IS DEAD! HE’S BETTER OFF THERE THAN HAVE YOU AS HIS DAUGHTER!” I couldn’t react. I was frozen, unable to move from where I was stood. Tears flooded from my eyes but it didn’t feel like I was crying. I was too numb to cry. I looked at Fiona, she too was frozen. Her face had lost its hard edge, she just looked sad. She held her hands over the bottom of her face, tears spilling over.
“Rose. Rose I… I’m so sorry” she moved forward, putting her hand on my shoulder. I cowered away from her touch. She made my skin crawl.
I couldn’t do this anymore, I couldn’t keep it together. I turned and ran, not knowing where I was heading. Anywhere away from my life was good enough.
But we had no reason to be nervous. It was so great to watch the guys with their fans. They treated every one of them as friends, being especially kind to the shy or upset ones. Apart from the odd curious look me and Alice were barely noticed sat on the side lines, which was fine by us. The guys took pictures with them all and signed anything passed in their direction with a patient smile. I was trying not to, but I couldn’t help watching Jack as he circulated round the room. He approached a girl stood by herself who looked a little dazed. He put his arm around her and as he spoke to her, she began to smile and come out of herself more. A strange lump appeared in my throat, she reminded me of me. I smiled in their direction and Jack met my gaze. I was embarrassed to be caught staring at him and I quickly looked away, trying to hide my reddening face. Alice looked at me with a grin.
“What are you blushing at Rose?” she teased. I buried my face in my hands and Alice laughed at me.
“Don’t act like you’re not watching Zack-” I looked back up to her and stopped talking when I saw the look on her face. She was staring over my shoulder with an expression that was hard to recognise. Shocked, angry even. I turned behind me to follow her gaze and understood immediately. Stood amongst the group now surrounding Jack was Fiona.
“What the hell is she doing here” Alice spoke through her teeth. Neither of us had seen her since I had ended our friendship, and I was under the impression that I would never see her again. Now I was watching her look at Jack with gooey eyes and smiling at him like butter wouldn’t melt.
“She’s not destroying something else, I won’t let her” Alice shot up from her seat and began to walk in her direction.
“Alice, don’t. You’ll make a scene!” I pulled her back.
“Cool it, please? For me?” I was by no means thrilled to see Fiona, but I wanted an argument even less. Alice huffed and sat back down, crossing her arms like a stropping child. I couldn’t help smiling a little at her face. I hugged her and sat back down too.
“Thank you. You know I appreciate it right? She’s just not worth it.”
“Thanks bestie” Fiona’s voice was full of sarcasm. I turned; she stood with her arms crossed. She was a lot less passive than I remembered her. I stood to face her, Alice stood a little behind me but still at my side. What was i supposed to say to that? I didn’t want any trouble, but it looked as if that’s exactly what I was going to get.
“Look, Fiona. This is uncomfortable for all of us, trust me. But this is not the time. Just leave us and we’ll leave you.” I kept my voice flat.
“What are you doing here?” She acted as if I hadn’t spoken at all.
“That’s really nothing to do with you.” Alice was a lot less composed than I was.
“And I really wasn’t talking to you, so go play protective friend somewhere else yeah?” Fiona spat back.
“You have a serious attitude problem, do you know that? Considering what you’ve done you should be kissing Rose’s ass or crawling out of your own.” Alice’s voice was getting louder. Something was going to kick off any second. The tension in this side of the room hadn’t gone unnoticed either; Alex shot a worried look at me. I had to do something.
“Fiona if you really insist on talking right now, let’s talk outside. Don’t want you ruining someone else’s day.” She was starting to really piss me off. She laughed without humour and walked through the door. Alice went to follow her, I pulled her back.
“I need to sort this.” She wasn’t happy about it, but she accepted it. I headed for the door unsure what to expect. It wasn’t going to be pretty.
I stood facing Fiona, waiting for her to speak. She just glared at me.
“So. What is it you want to say to me Fiona?” I sighed, crossing my arms. I really didn’t want to be having this conversation right now, everything was going so perfectly. She smirked at me.
“How long have you got?” Alice was right about her attitude problem.
“Stop playing games for once in your life and spit it out.” She slowly walked towards me.
“How long have I been your friend Rose?”
“What the hell are you-“ She interrupted me.
“How long!” Fiona repeated herself, raising her voice.
“Too long” I wasn’t going to let her get to me. When I said goodbye to her the last time, I had meant it. Her existence didn’t affect me anymore.
“See, that’s what I thought. But obviously not long enough for you to forgive a stupid mistake.”
“Stupid mistake? Are you serious Fiona? What planet are you on!”
“It was only a worthless card!”
“If you knew me at all you’d know how much that meant to me.”
“Oh give up on the loyal daughter act, you didn’t even like him let alone love him.”
“HOW FUCKING DARE YOU! DON’T YOU EVER. EVER! SAY THAT!” I was losing it with her. I was unaware at the time that Jack and Alice were on the other side of the door listening in.
“You know what? I’m glad that we aren’t friends anymore. And I’m glad I ripped up that shitty card. You are a worthless piece of existence, a waste of air. And I am THRILLED. THAT YOUR DAD IS DEAD! HE’S BETTER OFF THERE THAN HAVE YOU AS HIS DAUGHTER!” I couldn’t react. I was frozen, unable to move from where I was stood. Tears flooded from my eyes but it didn’t feel like I was crying. I was too numb to cry. I looked at Fiona, she too was frozen. Her face had lost its hard edge, she just looked sad. She held her hands over the bottom of her face, tears spilling over.
“Rose. Rose I… I’m so sorry” she moved forward, putting her hand on my shoulder. I cowered away from her touch. She made my skin crawl.
I couldn’t do this anymore, I couldn’t keep it together. I turned and ran, not knowing where I was heading. Anywhere away from my life was good enough.
Notes
Sorry, amazingly long chapter but there hasnt been enough drama since the first one!Craaazy amount of views, thankyou! Comments would be awesome, i wanna know if people are liking the way this is going. Rate and subscribe too, thanks! (((:
6/6/13