Once we were inside, Jack took me straight to the couch. I was feeling a little better, but the aftermath of the panic attack I had still sucked.

“Ember, do you need anything?” Jack asked kneeling on the ground next to me. “I promise she doesn't mean anything to me like you do.”
“I...I know.” I sighed, just trying to keep my breathing normal. “Just, come here.”

I pulled on his shirt till he sat on the couch with me and I practically crawled into is lap, just clutching onto him. Jack held me back, still asking if I wanted anything. I told him I just needed this, a but of stability and reassurance that we're okay. Jack tried saying something about how we need to clean my lip, but I just ignored him, refusing to move for the next twenty minutes.

Once I felt much, much calmer and a little less like shit, I pulled away from Jack.

“Are you sure you're okay?” He asked, and I nodded.
“Yeah, it was just...really nerve-racking.” I shrugged, and Jack frowned.
“You know, Alex used to have panic attacks. I know what they're like, I just never thought I'd have to see you go through one.”
“It's happened before.” I pointed out.
“Still.”

I sighed and got up, intending on going to the kitchen for a towel for the blood and heard Jack get up after me. It was actually starting to really hurt, and I'm not sure exactly how hard I bit into my own lip. Once I wetted a cloth, it was taken from me by Jack. Before I could even protest, he was wiping off my chin. How the hell did blood get there too?

“How bad is it?” I asked.
“Just hold still.”
“Not the answer I was looking for Jack.” I sighed, and he just mumbled a sort of reply and continued. He would whisper sorries to me anytime I flinched. “You know this isn't changing anything, right?”
“It's not?” He asked, setting the towel down and looking at my lip. “It's bleeding again.”
“It'll stop,” I answered. “And yeah, I still want to do this thing we're doing. You have to figure out the third date though.”
“So we're still on dates?” He asked, smiling a little.
“Yep.” I popped and seethed. “Ow, fuck.”
“Careful.” Jack looked worried, and I rolled my eyes.
“It'll be fine, it doesn't even hurt that much anymore.”
“How did you even manage.” Jack sighed, and took my hand to pull me back to the living room. “Any ideas on where our next date should be?”
“Not really.” I admitted. “Any movies you wanna see?”
“Movie theaters are only good for making out and your lip is torn.” He said, settling us back on the couch, laying together. “What's left in wedding planning that we can do?”
“Umm,” I thought about it for a second. “We need to figure out our party, groomsmen and bridesmaids, in case you didn't know what that was. Um, engagement party if you want one, also photos. Which, honestly, I rather just have wedding photos. We could make a date out of wine and cake tasting.”
“I kinda like that idea. Alcohol and sugar, my favorite things.” Jack chuckled.
“Guess we'll see.” I shrugged.

Jack and I talked about maybe having a party with our more closer friends here, in the apartment. Most of them knew we were engaged anyway and it's not like we're all for formal events. I passed out sometime in the middle of Jack talking about how we needed to make sure we got a DJ willing to play punk music and not just radio shit. I wasn't sure what time it was, but apparently it had been early enough for me to be sitting up in bed at 5 a.m wide awake.

I decided to take Bailey outside, go for a walk and try to de-stress a little. I was still tense about everything yesterday, even if I didn't show it. I was a little upset that the whole Jack cheating on me thing was true, and I'm sure that's gonna come up in later conversation, but for now, I was just trying to process and accept it.

At least it was the one time, right? Bri probably would have gloated about it more if it had happened more than once. Plus, Jack was drunk, and sick, and God knows what else. I could forgive him this time...with the promise that if it ever happens again I'm going to shove a knife up the girls vag and rip Jack's balls off. I kinda smiled at my own ridiculous way of joking about it, but at least it made me feel better.

I also had to accept that Bri liked Jack. It made me nervous when she said she'd be around for when we split, but I knew it wouldn't happen. Not again, not ever again. We've been through enough shit to know we won't ever be separated permanently. If I could deal with the thousands of thirteen year old's who called Jack their future husband and how much they loved him more than anyone else (all of which is a lie.) then I can deal with knowing about Bri's existance.

As I walked back to the house, a good couple hours later, I started to think about how I could have future stress induced panic attacks. The only situations where it could happen in the near future is maybe when the wedding gets closer and more crazy and when I have to speak to my father. And fuck, I did not want to talk to him. I know he's better about Jack and I's relationship, but he still has never straight up talked to me. Joyce calls once in awhile, even when Jack was gone. I've met up with her for lunch and stuff when we came back from tour. She was a friend, a great one at that. I think one day I'll be able to see her as more of a 'mom' but in a different sense then my step-mom. Mother-in-law I guess would be the title for her now anyway.

Once I walked into the house, I was tackled by a twenty-two year old man and lifted off the ground.

“Where have you been!?” He whined, before setting me down. “You can't just leave that early.”
“I woke up and couldn't sleep. So I took Bailey for a walk, calm down.” I laughed, patting his shoulder.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, 'oh.'” I rolled my eyes. “Where'd you think I went?”
“Uhh, it's just...you know, after yesterday and all...” Jack shuffled, and I leaned up to kiss him.
“I told you it doesn't matter, I'm not going to just run after that.” I assured. “And, I'm hungry.”
“We have pancake mix in the cupboard.” Jack smiled.
“You have no idea how to make them do you?” He shook his head. “I guess I can make breakfast today.” Jack cheered, before running off somewhere, Bailey following him since he was more interesting all of the sudden.

Yeah, we were still okay. Nothing can touch us anymore.

Notes

Kind of a filler. <3