"You're doing great, Jack. You're ready for this."


I stared at the bag sitting on the counter and the busy street outside of the building. Today was a big day for me - I'm officially released from the facility. It was Hell here at first. My body wanted drugs and booze, but my mind was spinning out of control. They drugged me up pretty well and locked me in a room with nothing but a bed. I spent two days alone, screaming at everything into my voice was hoarse.


When they finally allowed me to be around people, I was forced to shower and clean up. From there, I started my medication again and went to therapy for at least two hours ago. Two hours became group therapy for one hour a day. Eventually, my meds began to overpower my brain and I was getting back to normal.


Everything was going okay for me, though my heart was shamefully broken from the things I did to Ember. It was all like a big blur, a bad memory. It didn't even make sense. Because of the pain I'd been feeling, I'd grown used to the comfort of always having these people around to fix me. Now, they were sending me back out into the world and I had no idea how I would fend for myself. I hadn't spoken to anyone outside of the facility since I signed myself in. They even took my phone for good measure. Didn't matter much - I hadn't paid the bill, it was shut off, anyway.


Giving a hug to my therapist, I collected my things and ventured out into the sunlight. A rush of joy shot through my veins. Maybe, if I play my cards right and pour my heart out ot my friends and family, they could forgive me. Just maybe I could make them understand. The chances were slim, but it was the last bit of hope I had.


I didn't have much money on me, so my only way home was a bus ride that lasted much longer than I'd care to admit. Not to mention the costant conversation and a few people that really irritated me. But it was the good kind of irritated, the kind I could control. After having slept for most of the trip, I arrived in Baltimore in the afternoon. I called a taxi and went to the first place I could think of - Ember and Hay's apartment.


My fists hit the door so many times they nearly bruised, but no one answered. No matter how many times I called out, no one responded. My heart sank.


The next walk I went on was enough to make me damn near break down crying. Ember really hated me, but she didn't understand! I'm better now! I can be better now! Someone had to talk some sense into her the way my therapist had talked some sense into me, though I wouldn't blame her if she never forgave me. I'd never forgive myself.


My feet were sore and I was out of breath by the time I reached the familiar house. Now, if the person inside doesn't still hate me, I will have made some progress. I climbed the stairs and let out a short breath before I let my fist bang against the door. For some reason, I was scared to face my best friend. Scared that he'd still hate me.


The door opened slowly and a sad looking Alex was standing right in front of me. His brows furrowed and for a moment I thought he was going to deck me right in the face, but he didn't. He raised his arms and pulled me into the biggest hug I've ever been given. In that moment, I knew it was worth it. Everything I'd been through since I bailed was worth it.


"Where the fuck have you been?!"


"I got help," I murmured, offering a small smile to my best friend as he pulled away. "I've literally been in rehab, basically, for the last few weeks."


"So... you're back on your meds?"


"Yeah. It was Hell but I did it. I'm better now, Alex, and I'm so sorry for all the shit I put you guys through."


"I'm sorry for ever making you feel like Ember replaced you."


"Nah, I deserved that. My mind was just.. Well, I'm better now. That's all that matters."


"I'm glad you're back, man. Should I call the guys?"


"Actually, I was wondering if you could call Ember. She wouldn't open the door for me and I need her to understand where I've been. They took my phone so I couldn't call or text anyone."


"They took your phone?" Alex frowned, brushing some hair away from his face. "So you never got her text message?"


"W- What message?"


"Uh," Alex sighed, shifting his weight as he looked down at the ground. "Dude, Ember left. She pretty much told us all to fuck off and jumped state. I don't even know where she is, honestly."


And just like that, my hope was lost. Everything I'd been through, it was all for nothing. Ember was my world, without her, there was no need to keep going.

Notes

Okay, so, I read the recommendation on the ff blog. Whoever did that, I LOVE YOU!! You're amazing!! And you guys can follow me on tumblr, I don't bite unless you want me to!
Just as for my link!
I'm so glad you like this story. <3.