Clean?
Chapter Three
Chapter Three
DAISY’S POV
I sat beside Alex and this really chubby girl with pale skin and straight black hair. Her makeup was overdone and insane but all Jace’s friends looked like this. I didn’t really know if they were Goth or Emo or whatever but I knew it was smarter not to ask. I wasn’t really any of those things. Of everything, I’d say I was artsy. But not the fake “hipster” artsy. Just kind of a bit alternative, a bit punk, maybe a little scene? Just a confusing blend of all of that stuff.
“Hi, I’m Kris.” The girl beside me said.
“Oh, yeah. I’m Daisy, Jace’s cousin.” I said.
She looked at me weirdly for a couple minutes. “You’re so skinny, Daisy. I’ve been working on it for ever and ever and I’m never going to get even close to that skinny.” Oh no. She was one of those girls who promote anorexia and self starvation.
“Me, I’m not that skinny but thanks...?” I answered immediately feeling really uncomfortable. Alex already was talking to Jace, Eric, and this other guy called Hurricane. I’ve been to these parties and I know you can’t just leave. Alex looked a bit scared shitless. I bet Jace was threatening him if he hurt me or anything. I hoped he wouldn’t. I mean it’s all a bit weird. I idolized Alex for years, and now he’s at my cousin’s party with me. It’s a bit dreamlike.
Alex turned to me and whispered in my ear. “Hey, is Jace actually going to chop my dick off, put it in a blender and feed it to me if I hurt you?” I started giggling.
“I mean we are talking about Jace, who knows?” I said but my face told Alex he was probably joking around.
“You’re great but this party is not my scene.” Alex admitted, still whispering in my ear.
“It’s not my scene either! Just stay for a bit. Once everyone’s too drunk to function, we’ll pretend to go hook-up, but we’ll just leave. Jace will kill me if I leave while he’s sober.” Jace was a nice guy but if I just left, he’d think I was a rude bitch and I didn’t want him thinking that.
“Pretend to hook-up, mhm.” Alex whispered, pressing his lips to my ear. I felt his warm breath so close to me and I got all tingly. “Or we could hook-up right now, unless you don’t want to.” His hand found my inner thigh that was revealed from the shortness of my dress. He started tracing patterns.
“Is there a room upstairs?” Alex whispered into my jawline, making me a little crazy.
“Yeah.”
“Of course, just friends!” exclaimed a very drunk Evan.
“Shut the fuck up. We’re going upstairs.” I muttered, grabbing Alex’s hand from my thigh, getting up, and dragging him up the stairs and into a guest room. Right when we entered the room, I felt Alex push me against the door and kiss me. It was a little weird since Alex was only an inch taller then me but we didn’t really care. His hand found my protruding hipbone and rubbed it, continuing to kiss me until he had to pull away for air. I grabbed the collar of his red plaid shirt and pulled him back in for another kiss, placing my second hand on his jawline.
You aren’t good enough for this guy you fat slut.
No. Not now. Bad time. Go away.
Look at him. He’s a hot male lead singer of a band. Who are you, a piece of shit working three jobs since all your real dreams failed.
No. I’m not a piece of shit. Alex likes me.
Alex is just using you for your body. Goddamnit Daisy, when did you become so easy?
I’m not easy. Alex wouldn’t use me. Alex is a good guy.
“Daze? Daze? Daze are you okay?” Alex. Looking at me. I saw my reflection in his eyes. I looked like a saw a ghost. I hadn’t. I had just hear the kind of things my dad would have said to me. I guess I can’t ever escape him. That asshole will haunt me forever.
“Um. Yeah.” I said nervously. Alex pulled me into a hug and I was a little shocked.
“You’re lying. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Alex said gently swaying with me.
“Uh, I don’t want to burden you with all my problems Alex! You’re like a rockstar, you’re perfect, I’d just be a dent in your diamond. I’m not worth it.” I broke down and started crying, burying my head in Alex’s neck.
“Daisy, you’re your own diamond. You’re beautiful, you’re nice, you’re amazing. Why would you not be worth it?” Alex spoke, his arms still around my waist.
“M-m-my dad. It’s his fault.” I cried into Alex. He moved one hand so it was caressing my head. He was just so sweet. I felt so bad, ruining his night. He could have hooked up with any girl, in a good way, not like a manslut, he’d be kind to them and he wouldn’t have to deal with all my issues.
“Your dad? Daze, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. You don’t need to explain everything if you aren’t ready. If you want, we can just do this. I just want you to feel a bit better, babe.” Alex said and I nodded. I trusted Alex more than I trusted most people. Maybe because I idolized him for so so long, it felt like I really knew him even though I didn’t.
“Can I give you the sparknotes version?” Daisy mumbled.
“What?” Alex asked.
“It’s a little joke. It’s like the simplified summary version.” Alex chuckled.
“Go ahead babe.”
“My dad was a dick. He never hurt me but I feel like he would have and he said a lot of mean things to me. I started to believe them after years and years of it and now I hate myself and I don’t see how anyone could like me. I ran away from it this afternoon to make sure my little sister that you met, Cara, would never have to endure what I did. We moved in with my rich stoner friend Sidney today and she got us All Time Low tickets to cheer me up. But I’m still freaked about my dad and all.”
Alex didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He kissed my forehead. “You’re better than whatever the fuck that asshole called you. You’re beautiful, pretty, nice, you seem pretty smart, and really friendly. He just said that because he’s probably severely fucked up and that was his way of getting his anger out, which is horrible. You don’t deserve that. You ran away from him. Just let your brain run away from him too.” I looked into Alex’s soft eyes. My eyes moved to his lips. They really were pretty perfect. So even though I didn’t know him and I was definitely the shy one of the two but I couldn’t help myself. I leaned up and kissed him. He seemed a little shocked but kissed back, much more passionate than the kisses before. He gently pushed me onto the small bed and kissed me again, so much care in his eyes.
I lay backwards and Alex sort of awkwardly climbed on top of me, his mouth finding mine again. He was getting a little restless, as he would, and started trailing his hands down my sides, resting just above my butt. My hand rested on the side of his beautiful face and he gently started kissing down my neck till he found my sweet spot. He stayed there, kissing and biting at my neck. I let out soft moans. “Alex...” I moaned quietly.
“Hey Daze, as who I am, since I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about me. All I want to say is, are you cool with going all the way since when I start, I kind of can’t stop.” Alex said nervously.
He was looking into my eyes, and I returned the look. “Fuck me, Gaskarth.” Alex’s smile confirmed his opinion in the matter.
“Your wish is my command babe.” I closed my eyes, never had I felt better in my whole life then when Alex was on top of me.
DAISY’S POV
I sat beside Alex and this really chubby girl with pale skin and straight black hair. Her makeup was overdone and insane but all Jace’s friends looked like this. I didn’t really know if they were Goth or Emo or whatever but I knew it was smarter not to ask. I wasn’t really any of those things. Of everything, I’d say I was artsy. But not the fake “hipster” artsy. Just kind of a bit alternative, a bit punk, maybe a little scene? Just a confusing blend of all of that stuff.
“Hi, I’m Kris.” The girl beside me said.
“Oh, yeah. I’m Daisy, Jace’s cousin.” I said.
She looked at me weirdly for a couple minutes. “You’re so skinny, Daisy. I’ve been working on it for ever and ever and I’m never going to get even close to that skinny.” Oh no. She was one of those girls who promote anorexia and self starvation.
“Me, I’m not that skinny but thanks...?” I answered immediately feeling really uncomfortable. Alex already was talking to Jace, Eric, and this other guy called Hurricane. I’ve been to these parties and I know you can’t just leave. Alex looked a bit scared shitless. I bet Jace was threatening him if he hurt me or anything. I hoped he wouldn’t. I mean it’s all a bit weird. I idolized Alex for years, and now he’s at my cousin’s party with me. It’s a bit dreamlike.
Alex turned to me and whispered in my ear. “Hey, is Jace actually going to chop my dick off, put it in a blender and feed it to me if I hurt you?” I started giggling.
“I mean we are talking about Jace, who knows?” I said but my face told Alex he was probably joking around.
“You’re great but this party is not my scene.” Alex admitted, still whispering in my ear.
“It’s not my scene either! Just stay for a bit. Once everyone’s too drunk to function, we’ll pretend to go hook-up, but we’ll just leave. Jace will kill me if I leave while he’s sober.” Jace was a nice guy but if I just left, he’d think I was a rude bitch and I didn’t want him thinking that.
“Pretend to hook-up, mhm.” Alex whispered, pressing his lips to my ear. I felt his warm breath so close to me and I got all tingly. “Or we could hook-up right now, unless you don’t want to.” His hand found my inner thigh that was revealed from the shortness of my dress. He started tracing patterns.
“Is there a room upstairs?” Alex whispered into my jawline, making me a little crazy.
“Yeah.”
“Of course, just friends!” exclaimed a very drunk Evan.
“Shut the fuck up. We’re going upstairs.” I muttered, grabbing Alex’s hand from my thigh, getting up, and dragging him up the stairs and into a guest room. Right when we entered the room, I felt Alex push me against the door and kiss me. It was a little weird since Alex was only an inch taller then me but we didn’t really care. His hand found my protruding hipbone and rubbed it, continuing to kiss me until he had to pull away for air. I grabbed the collar of his red plaid shirt and pulled him back in for another kiss, placing my second hand on his jawline.
You aren’t good enough for this guy you fat slut.
No. Not now. Bad time. Go away.
Look at him. He’s a hot male lead singer of a band. Who are you, a piece of shit working three jobs since all your real dreams failed.
No. I’m not a piece of shit. Alex likes me.
Alex is just using you for your body. Goddamnit Daisy, when did you become so easy?
I’m not easy. Alex wouldn’t use me. Alex is a good guy.
“Daze? Daze? Daze are you okay?” Alex. Looking at me. I saw my reflection in his eyes. I looked like a saw a ghost. I hadn’t. I had just hear the kind of things my dad would have said to me. I guess I can’t ever escape him. That asshole will haunt me forever.
“Um. Yeah.” I said nervously. Alex pulled me into a hug and I was a little shocked.
“You’re lying. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Alex said gently swaying with me.
“Uh, I don’t want to burden you with all my problems Alex! You’re like a rockstar, you’re perfect, I’d just be a dent in your diamond. I’m not worth it.” I broke down and started crying, burying my head in Alex’s neck.
“Daisy, you’re your own diamond. You’re beautiful, you’re nice, you’re amazing. Why would you not be worth it?” Alex spoke, his arms still around my waist.
“M-m-my dad. It’s his fault.” I cried into Alex. He moved one hand so it was caressing my head. He was just so sweet. I felt so bad, ruining his night. He could have hooked up with any girl, in a good way, not like a manslut, he’d be kind to them and he wouldn’t have to deal with all my issues.
“Your dad? Daze, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. You don’t need to explain everything if you aren’t ready. If you want, we can just do this. I just want you to feel a bit better, babe.” Alex said and I nodded. I trusted Alex more than I trusted most people. Maybe because I idolized him for so so long, it felt like I really knew him even though I didn’t.
“Can I give you the sparknotes version?” Daisy mumbled.
“What?” Alex asked.
“It’s a little joke. It’s like the simplified summary version.” Alex chuckled.
“Go ahead babe.”
“My dad was a dick. He never hurt me but I feel like he would have and he said a lot of mean things to me. I started to believe them after years and years of it and now I hate myself and I don’t see how anyone could like me. I ran away from it this afternoon to make sure my little sister that you met, Cara, would never have to endure what I did. We moved in with my rich stoner friend Sidney today and she got us All Time Low tickets to cheer me up. But I’m still freaked about my dad and all.”
Alex didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. He kissed my forehead. “You’re better than whatever the fuck that asshole called you. You’re beautiful, pretty, nice, you seem pretty smart, and really friendly. He just said that because he’s probably severely fucked up and that was his way of getting his anger out, which is horrible. You don’t deserve that. You ran away from him. Just let your brain run away from him too.” I looked into Alex’s soft eyes. My eyes moved to his lips. They really were pretty perfect. So even though I didn’t know him and I was definitely the shy one of the two but I couldn’t help myself. I leaned up and kissed him. He seemed a little shocked but kissed back, much more passionate than the kisses before. He gently pushed me onto the small bed and kissed me again, so much care in his eyes.
I lay backwards and Alex sort of awkwardly climbed on top of me, his mouth finding mine again. He was getting a little restless, as he would, and started trailing his hands down my sides, resting just above my butt. My hand rested on the side of his beautiful face and he gently started kissing down my neck till he found my sweet spot. He stayed there, kissing and biting at my neck. I let out soft moans. “Alex...” I moaned quietly.
“Hey Daze, as who I am, since I’m sure you’ve heard a lot about me. All I want to say is, are you cool with going all the way since when I start, I kind of can’t stop.” Alex said nervously.
He was looking into my eyes, and I returned the look. “Fuck me, Gaskarth.” Alex’s smile confirmed his opinion in the matter.
“Your wish is my command babe.” I closed my eyes, never had I felt better in my whole life then when Alex was on top of me.
Notes
Songs that helped me write this chapter:
Time-Bomb by All Time Low
The Morticians Daughter by Black Veil Brides
Gonna start posting two songs each chapter that I'm getting into. :)
-El
Working on it!
10/18/13