Clean?
Chapter One
Chapter One.
DAISY’S POV
I was with my little sister, getting out of the house forever. I was sick of my dad’s shit. I was lucky he didn’t abuse us physically but he came home drunk, called me horrible names, broke stuff and made ME pay for it, and ruined all my possible self confidence. After years of all his crap, I started to believe I was worthless, fat, ugly, and dumb like he said. I couldn’t handle it. My little sister Cara was only 6 and too young in my father’s eyes to handle his commentary but she wasn’t too young to understand what he was saying and what it meant. So we got out. I had a friend living in a flat in downtown London named Sidney so we were running to go stay with her.
Sidney was a character. I knew she smoked pot (which I didn’t) but she was not your stereotypical pothead. She really was so smart and so interesting. She watched the news and cared about the world. And when I broke down to her about my dad, she didn’t say he was an asshole or offend him. She offered up her home, saying she had two sofas Cara and I could sleep on. And I took her offer wholeheartedly.
We arrived at Sidney’s house. It smelt like Febreeze which meant she actually tried to cover up the pot smell of her house for Cara. I didn’t care. I didn’t mind pot but I didn’t smoke it. But Sidney loved Cara like a daughter. When Sidney opened the door, Cara jumped into her arms. I knew Cara really liked me and I did my absolute best to be a motherly figure to her but I wasn’t old enough. I was nineteen, and Sidney was twenty-six. So she was a much better motherly figure then I could ever be.
“Hey Cara! I got you and Daze a present.” Daze wasn’t my name. It was a dumb nickname Sidney came up for me and I only really let her call me that. Mostly cause Sidney was one of my best friends. Really, my best friend. My damaged self confidence led to few friendships.
“What is it Sidney!” Cara screamed. My dad wasn’t the present type and my job didn’t bring in enough money to really spoil her but Sidney had quite a bit of money so she didn’t mind buying people gifts.
“Come over here, I’ll show you.” Sidney put Cara down and we followed Sidney to her living room area. She lifted up two pieces of paper.
“I know moving is stressful. Thought you’d appreciate these.” I read the papers. No. Fucking. Way. All Time Low tickets. Something I could NEVER buy for myself.
“What does it say Daisy, what does it say?”
“All Time Low tickets to their London show tonight!” I smiled at Cara. She screamed. Since I pretty much raised her (with the help of Sidney and a couple other friends), I introduced her to my type of music, which was punk pop. Both of our favorites was All Time Low. Some people might think it weird that my six-year-old sister listens to punk pop but I’d rather her hear a few curses or twisted lines then listen to rap songs about asses and tits or pop songs that are made by computers.
It wasn’t my first ATL concert. And it hopefully wouldn’t be my last. In high school I saved up at my waitressing job for so long that I could finally tag along with a couple of Sidney’s friends, Janie and Davis to go to the concert. We were all quite poor so we had shit seats and we couldn’t see their faces or experience the REAL show but it wasn’t about that. I needed to hear Alex’s voice, hear Jack and Zack’s guitar playing, hear the banging of Rian on the drums. It wasn’t about imagery. It was about the music. For anyone who thinks otherwise, I’m pretty shocked.
I mean I do think Zack is really hot with his muscles and Jack is so sweet and adorable in his own Jack way and Rian seems like the idealistic boyfriend. Oh and Alex was fucking attractive. Honestly, so hot. But I didn’t care. They could be ugly. They could be anyone. As long as they sing and play the same, I’m a fan.
It would be Cara’s first show and I don’t know how to feel about that. I mean, she was six and we did floor tickets. But I couldn’t say no. I technically took her away from her home and her last alive parent. Yeah, for a good reason, but he was still her dad. I sort of stopped seeing him as a parent and more as an obstacle when I turned thirteen.
Cara hugged Sidney again and I joined in. Sidney knew how to make me happy. Knew how to get my mind off of things.
“Okay, okay. It was the least I could do.” Sidney said trying to be a little modest.
“No, Sid. You’ve done EVERYTHING. Thanks doll.” I smiled at her. She rolled her eyes.
“Daze, Daze, Daze...” She trailed off. “It’s no problem. Anyway, how’s work?”
How’s work...well I might be one of the few human beings on earth who absolutely adores working three jobs. I’m not shitting you. I am a professional piercer, working to become a tattoo artist (if I do, I’m ditching the other two jobs). I also work at hot topic and teach guitar to kids. I mean, with three jobs, I get paid pretty well. I’m the second most recommended piercer and I’m only on my third year of working. I guess I’m very in love with my jobs. I just love it all. I absolutely adore doing piercings. I mean I’d prefer to do tattoos but you have to get far in the industry to do those. And I love meeting cool new people and I love Hot Topic. And teaching kids guitar makes me feel fulfilled since my childhood dream was to be a guitarist. I love it. It’s my second true love, after tattoos. And Cara of course.
“Oh, it’s terrific as usual.” I said.
“I can’t believe you actually enjoy working three meager jobs.” Sidney teased.
“Shut up!” I pushed her.
“Damn Daze, you’re weak. Have you been eating?” Sidney asked me. My weak spot: food. With all my work, all my buying food for Cara and all my interest in being stunning made me never want to eat. But Sidney’s not my mother. She doesn’t need to know that.
“Yeah, of course. Have you?” Sidney always ate. But I had to ask. So it didn’t seem awkward.
“I always do. Daze, you don’t have to worry about me, kay?” I nodded successfully. I had brought the conversation away from my habits onto hers, making her feel nervous then successfully getting her to change the subject. It’s a method I’d perfected over time. It’s called The Nervous Change. Or the TNC. Learn it. I use it all the fucking time.
“So Cara, I got you something else. And you too Daze.” Sidney pulled two bags out from under the sofa. One for Cara and one for me. Cara dashed and tore hers open, revealing a red knitted sweater and black zippered leggings, along with black high-top Converse. An outfit for the concert.
“Look Daze, before you open it, don’t refuse it. I bought it for me but I look preggers in it so I thought you’d look cute. Since you’re a 0 and I’m a 4.” I nodded meekly. If Sidney had bought it for herself, that meant it was high quality and expensive. I had trouble accepting expensive things. I wasn’t worth owning expensive things. My dad nailed it into my mind that I was fat and worthless. But Sidney didn’t seem to be backing down. So I gently opened it. It was a two piece dress from a designer we knew. His name was Cole Tennan and he used to make me and Sidney clothes and we modelled for him. Then I quit modelling since I was sixteen and I wanted to do my piercing more full time. Sidney ended up quitting as well to go with her own career owning a huge vegan restaurant. But Cole was one of my favorite designers. It was a flowy black chiffon tank at the top and a tight cherry red leather skirt at the bottom. I was in awe.
“It’s brand new. I bought it from Cole himself. But the first one he made was in a 0 and I had to buy it but I couldn’t haul my fat ass into it. So here you go.”
“Sidney, you aren’t fat. I wish I had your body.” That was not 100% true. Sidney was not fat at all. She did have an hourglass shape, boobs, and a butt. I was jealous of how a nice hourglass shape attracted guys. But I wasn’t too upset with my more willowy build. Small boobs, small curves and bone thin. Oh, and tall. Very tall. I was 5’11 to Sidney’s 5’8.
“It’s stunning, isn’t it?” Sidney said. I nodded. “Well you two can just hang around and I’m going off to see Cole. I’ll be back just before you should leave for the concert. I’d get ready around half past six if I were you. Okay, love you too. Don’t make a mess!” And with that Sidney left. Oh, did I mention Sidney and Cole were engaged? I was shocked Cole didn’t go marry a model but he had a crush on Sidney since she graduated high school many years ago and they’ve been dating for five years. Jealousy. My longest relationship was a month.
“So want to watch music videos and raid Sidney’s fridge?” I asked. Sidney wouldn’t mind. I’d pay her back. And she’d refuse it. I know her. Cara smiled and ran to the fridge pulling out waffles, ice cream, chocolate syrup, nutella, and strawberries. I made a big waffle up for Cara, and instead of making one for myself, I just took a little teaspoon of Nutella. We turned up Low by Sleeping With Sirens and danced around the large apartment. By the time our dance party was over, it was 5. I had a speed shower, combing my hair, and ran Cara a bath. Once we were both clean, we got dressed into our new outfits, and I slipped on my own pair of black oxfords. Sometimes being tall sucked and I didn't want to wear heels and make it even worse. Then I met Cara in the bathroom and she begged me to flat-iron her hair. I did, and her long brown hair went from wavy to pin straight. She was so pleased. Then I flat-ironed my own hair and I did my makeup: purple smokey eyeshadow and clear lipgloss. I wasn’t too amazing at makeup but I gave Cara some black cat eye and pink lipstick. We looked cute. I mean going to a concert with my baby sister was weird but it was for her, not for me. Not like I wasn’t going to enjoy it though.
Sidney came in and squealed. “Aw you guys look so pretty! Picture!!!” She pulled out her iPhone, lifted Cara up and took a selfie with all of us. “But you don’t want to be late. I’ll give you a ride there and you can taxi back. Do you need money for the taxi-”
“Sidney, we are fine. Don’t worry about us.” I smiled. She shook her keys, signaling for us to leave. We all left the apartment and Sidney drove us to the outdoor concert. Pierce The Veil was opening, which I was a little nervous about since they get pretty crazy and I didn’t want Cara to get scared. We showed the people our tickets and we entered the venue.
We made our way to the front of the floor just on time. Pierce The Veil started to play and all fear I had about Cara was gone. She was singing along, dancing around, and some people asked me if she was my daughter. I didn’t lie. I said she was my baby sister.
Once Pierce The Veil finished playing, there was a little gap while All Time Low set up. The people standing next to me looked so familiar. I attempted to get their attention. When the couple noticed me, I saw it was my boss at the Hot Topic we worked in, Dane, and his girlfriend. We talked a bit and he made the offer of a lifetime.
“Daisy, you work so hard at all your jobs and taking care of Cara and even Sidney a bit. After the venue, me and Marie will take Cara to Sidney’s apartment. You need to go out and party! Go to a club or a bar or really anything! Just have some...young adult fun.” I smiled and accepted Dane’s offer. It seems his girlfriend was being super sweet to Cara. Good. Dane was amazing.
DAISY’S POV
I was with my little sister, getting out of the house forever. I was sick of my dad’s shit. I was lucky he didn’t abuse us physically but he came home drunk, called me horrible names, broke stuff and made ME pay for it, and ruined all my possible self confidence. After years of all his crap, I started to believe I was worthless, fat, ugly, and dumb like he said. I couldn’t handle it. My little sister Cara was only 6 and too young in my father’s eyes to handle his commentary but she wasn’t too young to understand what he was saying and what it meant. So we got out. I had a friend living in a flat in downtown London named Sidney so we were running to go stay with her.
Sidney was a character. I knew she smoked pot (which I didn’t) but she was not your stereotypical pothead. She really was so smart and so interesting. She watched the news and cared about the world. And when I broke down to her about my dad, she didn’t say he was an asshole or offend him. She offered up her home, saying she had two sofas Cara and I could sleep on. And I took her offer wholeheartedly.
We arrived at Sidney’s house. It smelt like Febreeze which meant she actually tried to cover up the pot smell of her house for Cara. I didn’t care. I didn’t mind pot but I didn’t smoke it. But Sidney loved Cara like a daughter. When Sidney opened the door, Cara jumped into her arms. I knew Cara really liked me and I did my absolute best to be a motherly figure to her but I wasn’t old enough. I was nineteen, and Sidney was twenty-six. So she was a much better motherly figure then I could ever be.
“Hey Cara! I got you and Daze a present.” Daze wasn’t my name. It was a dumb nickname Sidney came up for me and I only really let her call me that. Mostly cause Sidney was one of my best friends. Really, my best friend. My damaged self confidence led to few friendships.
“What is it Sidney!” Cara screamed. My dad wasn’t the present type and my job didn’t bring in enough money to really spoil her but Sidney had quite a bit of money so she didn’t mind buying people gifts.
“Come over here, I’ll show you.” Sidney put Cara down and we followed Sidney to her living room area. She lifted up two pieces of paper.
“I know moving is stressful. Thought you’d appreciate these.” I read the papers. No. Fucking. Way. All Time Low tickets. Something I could NEVER buy for myself.
“What does it say Daisy, what does it say?”
“All Time Low tickets to their London show tonight!” I smiled at Cara. She screamed. Since I pretty much raised her (with the help of Sidney and a couple other friends), I introduced her to my type of music, which was punk pop. Both of our favorites was All Time Low. Some people might think it weird that my six-year-old sister listens to punk pop but I’d rather her hear a few curses or twisted lines then listen to rap songs about asses and tits or pop songs that are made by computers.
It wasn’t my first ATL concert. And it hopefully wouldn’t be my last. In high school I saved up at my waitressing job for so long that I could finally tag along with a couple of Sidney’s friends, Janie and Davis to go to the concert. We were all quite poor so we had shit seats and we couldn’t see their faces or experience the REAL show but it wasn’t about that. I needed to hear Alex’s voice, hear Jack and Zack’s guitar playing, hear the banging of Rian on the drums. It wasn’t about imagery. It was about the music. For anyone who thinks otherwise, I’m pretty shocked.
I mean I do think Zack is really hot with his muscles and Jack is so sweet and adorable in his own Jack way and Rian seems like the idealistic boyfriend. Oh and Alex was fucking attractive. Honestly, so hot. But I didn’t care. They could be ugly. They could be anyone. As long as they sing and play the same, I’m a fan.
It would be Cara’s first show and I don’t know how to feel about that. I mean, she was six and we did floor tickets. But I couldn’t say no. I technically took her away from her home and her last alive parent. Yeah, for a good reason, but he was still her dad. I sort of stopped seeing him as a parent and more as an obstacle when I turned thirteen.
Cara hugged Sidney again and I joined in. Sidney knew how to make me happy. Knew how to get my mind off of things.
“Okay, okay. It was the least I could do.” Sidney said trying to be a little modest.
“No, Sid. You’ve done EVERYTHING. Thanks doll.” I smiled at her. She rolled her eyes.
“Daze, Daze, Daze...” She trailed off. “It’s no problem. Anyway, how’s work?”
How’s work...well I might be one of the few human beings on earth who absolutely adores working three jobs. I’m not shitting you. I am a professional piercer, working to become a tattoo artist (if I do, I’m ditching the other two jobs). I also work at hot topic and teach guitar to kids. I mean, with three jobs, I get paid pretty well. I’m the second most recommended piercer and I’m only on my third year of working. I guess I’m very in love with my jobs. I just love it all. I absolutely adore doing piercings. I mean I’d prefer to do tattoos but you have to get far in the industry to do those. And I love meeting cool new people and I love Hot Topic. And teaching kids guitar makes me feel fulfilled since my childhood dream was to be a guitarist. I love it. It’s my second true love, after tattoos. And Cara of course.
“Oh, it’s terrific as usual.” I said.
“I can’t believe you actually enjoy working three meager jobs.” Sidney teased.
“Shut up!” I pushed her.
“Damn Daze, you’re weak. Have you been eating?” Sidney asked me. My weak spot: food. With all my work, all my buying food for Cara and all my interest in being stunning made me never want to eat. But Sidney’s not my mother. She doesn’t need to know that.
“Yeah, of course. Have you?” Sidney always ate. But I had to ask. So it didn’t seem awkward.
“I always do. Daze, you don’t have to worry about me, kay?” I nodded successfully. I had brought the conversation away from my habits onto hers, making her feel nervous then successfully getting her to change the subject. It’s a method I’d perfected over time. It’s called The Nervous Change. Or the TNC. Learn it. I use it all the fucking time.
“So Cara, I got you something else. And you too Daze.” Sidney pulled two bags out from under the sofa. One for Cara and one for me. Cara dashed and tore hers open, revealing a red knitted sweater and black zippered leggings, along with black high-top Converse. An outfit for the concert.
“Look Daze, before you open it, don’t refuse it. I bought it for me but I look preggers in it so I thought you’d look cute. Since you’re a 0 and I’m a 4.” I nodded meekly. If Sidney had bought it for herself, that meant it was high quality and expensive. I had trouble accepting expensive things. I wasn’t worth owning expensive things. My dad nailed it into my mind that I was fat and worthless. But Sidney didn’t seem to be backing down. So I gently opened it. It was a two piece dress from a designer we knew. His name was Cole Tennan and he used to make me and Sidney clothes and we modelled for him. Then I quit modelling since I was sixteen and I wanted to do my piercing more full time. Sidney ended up quitting as well to go with her own career owning a huge vegan restaurant. But Cole was one of my favorite designers. It was a flowy black chiffon tank at the top and a tight cherry red leather skirt at the bottom. I was in awe.
“It’s brand new. I bought it from Cole himself. But the first one he made was in a 0 and I had to buy it but I couldn’t haul my fat ass into it. So here you go.”
“Sidney, you aren’t fat. I wish I had your body.” That was not 100% true. Sidney was not fat at all. She did have an hourglass shape, boobs, and a butt. I was jealous of how a nice hourglass shape attracted guys. But I wasn’t too upset with my more willowy build. Small boobs, small curves and bone thin. Oh, and tall. Very tall. I was 5’11 to Sidney’s 5’8.
“It’s stunning, isn’t it?” Sidney said. I nodded. “Well you two can just hang around and I’m going off to see Cole. I’ll be back just before you should leave for the concert. I’d get ready around half past six if I were you. Okay, love you too. Don’t make a mess!” And with that Sidney left. Oh, did I mention Sidney and Cole were engaged? I was shocked Cole didn’t go marry a model but he had a crush on Sidney since she graduated high school many years ago and they’ve been dating for five years. Jealousy. My longest relationship was a month.
“So want to watch music videos and raid Sidney’s fridge?” I asked. Sidney wouldn’t mind. I’d pay her back. And she’d refuse it. I know her. Cara smiled and ran to the fridge pulling out waffles, ice cream, chocolate syrup, nutella, and strawberries. I made a big waffle up for Cara, and instead of making one for myself, I just took a little teaspoon of Nutella. We turned up Low by Sleeping With Sirens and danced around the large apartment. By the time our dance party was over, it was 5. I had a speed shower, combing my hair, and ran Cara a bath. Once we were both clean, we got dressed into our new outfits, and I slipped on my own pair of black oxfords. Sometimes being tall sucked and I didn't want to wear heels and make it even worse. Then I met Cara in the bathroom and she begged me to flat-iron her hair. I did, and her long brown hair went from wavy to pin straight. She was so pleased. Then I flat-ironed my own hair and I did my makeup: purple smokey eyeshadow and clear lipgloss. I wasn’t too amazing at makeup but I gave Cara some black cat eye and pink lipstick. We looked cute. I mean going to a concert with my baby sister was weird but it was for her, not for me. Not like I wasn’t going to enjoy it though.
Sidney came in and squealed. “Aw you guys look so pretty! Picture!!!” She pulled out her iPhone, lifted Cara up and took a selfie with all of us. “But you don’t want to be late. I’ll give you a ride there and you can taxi back. Do you need money for the taxi-”
“Sidney, we are fine. Don’t worry about us.” I smiled. She shook her keys, signaling for us to leave. We all left the apartment and Sidney drove us to the outdoor concert. Pierce The Veil was opening, which I was a little nervous about since they get pretty crazy and I didn’t want Cara to get scared. We showed the people our tickets and we entered the venue.
We made our way to the front of the floor just on time. Pierce The Veil started to play and all fear I had about Cara was gone. She was singing along, dancing around, and some people asked me if she was my daughter. I didn’t lie. I said she was my baby sister.
Once Pierce The Veil finished playing, there was a little gap while All Time Low set up. The people standing next to me looked so familiar. I attempted to get their attention. When the couple noticed me, I saw it was my boss at the Hot Topic we worked in, Dane, and his girlfriend. We talked a bit and he made the offer of a lifetime.
“Daisy, you work so hard at all your jobs and taking care of Cara and even Sidney a bit. After the venue, me and Marie will take Cara to Sidney’s apartment. You need to go out and party! Go to a club or a bar or really anything! Just have some...young adult fun.” I smiled and accepted Dane’s offer. It seems his girlfriend was being super sweet to Cara. Good. Dane was amazing.
Working on it!
10/18/13