Jack

I arrived at the silent apartment, the whining door the only sound, besides the monotonous ticking of the clock. My keys dangled from my hand and I looked at them. This place felt empty, not quite right. Not without Alex. Guilt filled my stomach as I remembered listening in on his conversation with Elissa.

It had been private, and none of my business. Except for the part about Alex spilling his guts and feelings about me to her. It was obvious why he couldn't discuss it with me; I was being a huge dick, ignoring him and getting busy with Josh while he was here. I winced at my previous actions, closing my eyes and letting out a slow breath.

'I'm sorry, Lexy.' I murmured, dropping my keys on the kitchen bench as I walked past, sitting down and putting my head in my hands. A knock came from the door, and it was pushed open a few seconds later.

'Jacky?' Josh called, stepping inside and spotting me at the table. I looked up, giving him a half hearted smile. He smiled back, and wandered over, sitting next to me and giving me a kiss, sliding his hand up my thigh. I pulled away, and guilt yet again tugged at my heart strings.

'Not tonight.' I said, and Josh stood up, nodding his head.

'Do you want to just go to bed then?' I shook my head, saying,

'I'd like it if you'd leave, Josh.'

'Why?' He sounded concerned, rushing back to my side and taking my hand, rubbing circles into the back of it. 'Have I done something?'

'Of course not,' I reassured him, slipping my hand out of his subtlety. 'I'd just like to stay by myself, you know?'

'I understand completely. Its not like we're married or anything,' a look of what I hoped wasn't horror slid over my face, but knowing me it probably was, and Josh hastily added onto the sentence, 'and that was not any allure as to plans. We can take it slow if you'd like, as slow as you want it to be.'

My hammering heart slowed by a few beats, and I let out another deep breath that I didn't know I had been holding. 'Just... Please leave, Josh.' I said flatly, escorting him to the door. His blue eyes were worried, and without giving him a slight peck on the cheeks, I slammed the door in his face, his mouth open as though he were going to say something.

A swift knocking of the door commenced and, frustrated, I opened the door back up. I just wanted him to leave.

'Jacky, I know where Alex is. Try his cell.' Josh's face was in a mask of concern, and that's exactly what it was - a mask. He didn't care about Alex. He had fucked up, literally, my whole relationship with the older boy. Not that I wasn't to blame, but who would do that? What kind of sick person?

I slammed the door again, my face contorted into anger. That's what I got for being the resident drunk of the house.

I raked my hands through my hair, fumbling in my pocket afterwards, desperately trying to find my phone. I unlocked it, pacing to the couch and throwing myself down as I waited for it to load up my contacts. I pressed the all to familiar name, glancing at the few digits spelling out his mobile number. I help the phone to my ear as it dialed up, crossing my legs and jiggling my foot. He picked up, and I shouted his name.

'Alex! Alex, where are you?'

'Jack?' A voice replied, unsure. 'Is that really you?' He sounded terrified, and smashed by how messily his words ran together.

'Where are you? Still at the park? I swear I'll come back and get you.'

'No, no, no, Jack. I don't know where I -' his voice was cut off, 'Jack, please help me!' He added, his voice much clearer. I sat with bated breath, listening to my loved one struggle. Yelling commenced, and I was certain that he wasn't with Elissa anymore. My worries were confirmed as a new voice came over the phone, sounding familiar to Josh's. My blood ran cold as I heard the new speaker say,

'Don't bother to come and get Alex. He's enjoying himself.' It was low, and spiteful, and I knew it wasn't true as I heard Alex screaming my name in the background. The strange man took the phone away from his ear, allowing Alex's voice to be louder.

'Josh -' the phone went dead, Alex's voice echoing in my ears.

I scrabbled at my phone again, this time choosing Josh's number. I wasn't angry or scared anymore, and that came across in my deathly steady voice as Josh picked up with a cheerful "hello, Jack".

'Where's Alex, and what is your friend doing to him?'

'Just open the door, would you?' I was asked in reply. I groaned and shut my phone, the front door opening as I did so. Josh walked back in, and I eyed him warily. He came and sat at my feet, casually picking up my hand.

'Jack, you know I love you.' My breathing froze as I heard him say those words. My stomach churned, and I wanted to vomit. I kept my face free of my emotions, and looked back at him blankly. 'Alex is only getting in the way of you reciprocating those feelings. Dan, he's a good guy. Just what Alex needs. He's still blind with you around, and he needs to move on if he knows what's good for him.' Josh's hand had moved to my thigh, and I batted him away, not wanting anything to do with him. Alex was scared, and needed me.

'Look, Josh -' a slamming on the door interrupted us, and Josh crept closer, almost sitting on my lap as Alex half-fell, half-stumbled through the door.

'Get the fuck away from me.' Alex demanded, aiming his words at the brown haired male behind him. Alex's gaze swept around the room, his light brown orbs landing on Josh. With a sloppy aim, he pointed his finger at Josh. 'And you.' He said, his voice quite understandable, a feat considering his alcoholic intake. 'Out. Now.' Josh didn't need telling twice, he stood quietly and walked around Alex and out the door.

'Oh, and Josh?' I called, the blue eyed beauty poking his head back around the door. 'Never come back here again.' Alex kicked the door shut, a look of anger on his face. His features didn't soften as he looked at me.

'That Dan punk!' He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and stalking towards me. I edged over on the couch and Alex flopped down next to me.

'What did he do?' I asked, wrapping an arm around him. 'You sounded so scared on the phone.'

'Yeah, well I go back to the bar, begin some shameless flirting, because - let's face it - you were in a happy relationship and I'm a lovesick puppy. So I begin flirting, Dan asks if I want to go back to his place, me, drunk off my ass, says yes, and Josh starts talking to Dan. We get back to his place, and he starts tying me up!' Alex spilled, his eyes growing wider as the tale continued. 'That's some kinky shit right there. I don't trust this guy, and he doesn't stop.' Alex paused to readjust his position on the couch. 'So, naturally, I slap him, untie myself and demand he take me home. Which is when you called. He tried wrestling me back onto the bed, but I was having none of it.' Alex seemed to be worn out by the end of his explanation. I kissed the top of his head and pulled him closer to me.

'I'm sorry, Lex.' I mumbled, using his nickname for the first time in a few weeks.

'Don't be. I got myself into the mess.'

'You wouldn't be in it if it weren't for me.' I insisted. Alex hit my arm lightly.

'I'm off to bed.' He yawned, standing up and stumbling down the corridor. I continued to sit on the couch, staring blankly at the wall. With a heavy heart, I finally decided it was time for bed, and I walked into my room. I expected the bed to be empty, but I saw a spread eagle Alex resting atop the covers. I smiled and helped him into bed, his soft snores accompanying the hard word. Climbing into bed myself and wrapping an arm around him, I kissed the top of his head again and mumbled,

'I love you,' into his hair.

I was awoken by a restless Alex a few hours later, the older boy shouting his brother's name at the top of his lungs.

Notes

c0l0urfultears
Title cred: My Only One - All Time Low