-Alex's Point of View-

My mother's words ran over and over in my mind as I took a taxi back home. I was hoping that Jack would be back home, just so I could repair some of our relationship already. I mean, if he doesn't want to date me right now, it wouldn't kill us to at least become friends? Right? At least that's what I'm hoping for.

I paid the driver as he dropped me off at the parking lot of the apartment. I flipped my keys around in my hand smiling slightly as they jingled in my palm. I had the feeling that everything was going to go perfect for once. We could be happy with each other once again.

Placing my key in the lock and listening to the tumblers turn, I opened the door. I took a cautious step inside and looked around the living area only to notice that there were about two beer cans sitting on the table. I sighed and shook my head, knowing that it had to have been Jack who was drinking them. I swear...

"Jack?" I called, stepping down the hallway, trying to find him.

I had noticed that the door to the guest room was open and I stepped inside there for a moment only to notice my belongings strewn across the bed. He had to have done this. He doesn't want me in his room anymore and I know for a fact that he's still pissed off at me. I picked up some of the clothes that were thrown carelessly across the floor and I folded them before putting them on the edge of the bed.

"Why?" I sighed. It had been the main question on my mind lately. Why did I do this? Why did I do that? Why did this happen? Why didn't I think properly? Why did I fuck up on the one thing that I loved the most?

The final question was a broken record in my mind. Why did I mess up on Jack? My dick that thought before my heart and I fucked his sister. I loved her. She loved me. On the other hand, I loved him and he the same with me. Now, he's drinking himself into a stupor and I'm picking my stuff up off the floor from where he tried to get rid of me from the room where we once slept together.

"Jack, where are you?" I asked, walking out of the room and heading towards where I thought he was. The door to his room was shut and I raised my hand to knock when I had heard the sound of kissing a small groan coming from inside the door.

My hand went straight to the knob and without a second thought, I opened the door and my eyes landed right on what I didn't want to see.

Jack was straddling a guy with crystal blue eyes and mousy brown hair. They were both in their underwear and I could take a clear guess on what exactly was going on between the man and my lover.

"Jack," I said, voice cracking, "Why?"

"Fuck off, Alex," he said, not even stopping what he was doing for a moment. He wanted to hurt me, make sure that I felt the exact same pain that he did when he found me naked in his sister's bed. I watched as blue-eyes sat up, his face almost the color of red wine.

"Is that your boyfriend, Jack?" He asked my lover, his accent making his voice smooth. Dammit, Jack picked a native.

"Yes," I growled and at the same time I heard a two lettered word escape Jack's lips.

"No."

"What?" I asked. The anger I felt before melted like ice cream left out on a warm summer's day. My heart was breaking and I knew that I was no longer wanted by the doe eyed boy that I loved with all my heart.

I bit my lip, fighting off tears, and I felt the anger flare up once again. "Haven't been for a while," I snapped, slamming the bedroom door behind me in my retreat.

Tears began to run down my face as I walked to my new room and grabbed my keys off the bed. I also grabbed my guitar that was now placed on the stand. I headed out the door without another thought and I just let my feet carry me. I wanted to escape...

I take that back, I need to escape.

~~~

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I sang softly strumming my guitar, singing the last bit to Lullabies. The last line of the song seemed the most meaningful to me at this moment. I was sorry, so sorry about what had happened to Jack and I. I wanted to do everything in my power to fix everything up, but I couldn't. He didn't want me around anymore.

I noticed a girl staring at me with a frown on her lips. Her hair was whipping around her head in the wind as she watched me. She looked unhappy, almost sympathetic.

"Is there an inspiration behind that song?" She asked, as some of the small crowd began to wander off somewhere else.

"When I was younger, my brother passed away. I wrote it sometime after his death and I've played it since whenever I've been in a bad mood," I said, kicking a rock that was stuck under my shoe.

"So you're in a bad mood now?" She asked, her accent making her voice soft, yet sweet.

"Sadly, I am. I'm Alex, Alex Gaskarth," I said holding out my hand and she shook it.

"Elissa Franceshi," she said, her green eyes lighting up a little bit, "Is there any way that you can tell me what's been going on?"

I shook my head softly and let out a sigh, "It's a long story really. I messed up and now I'm paying for it. I just recently moved here and now I feel like I need to move back from where I came. My life was just so much happier there and coming here made me feel like I was just wiping the slate clean. Worst part about it is that I moved here with my boyfriend and now we're..." I trailed off feeling my eyes sting from the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I understand, love. There's no need to cry now. I'm sure it's just a rough bump in your relationship, if you love him, it'll work out soon enough," she said softly and I nodded.

"I'm hoping so. I love him a lot," I whispered and she smiled.

"Well put a smile on your face. I know things will work out for you," she said before turning to take her leave without much of another word. I watched her walk off and a small smile spread across my lips as she walked away.

~~~

I walked into the apartment with my guitar in my hand. Jack was sitting on the couch, yet another beer in his hand. He was alone and when I walked inside, I placed my guitar in the corner and took a seat on the other side of the couch, glancing at the younger male.

"Is he gone?" I asked softly.

"Nope. He's in bed," he said with no remorse. My heart was already threatening to crack.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked, just letting the words roll off my tongue without much of a thought and his eyes snapped over to me as he frowned.

"If you really loved me, then why the hell did you sleep with May?" He growled. He was angry. Really fucking angry.

"I don't know, Jack. I didn't think, okay?" I said, feeling my eyes water up once again.

"Then how do I know what you really loved me, Alex? Right now, you haven't even shown it," he said and I moved closer to him. He turned away from me, but I grabbed his chin and made him look me in the eyes.

"Jack Bassam Barakat, I fucking love you," I said and I kissed his lips gently. He didn't make a single move to copy the gesture. He just sat there like a statue, placing the knife in my chest and twisting it with every single small inch.

I pulled away from him and I didn't meet his eyes. I just stood up and wandered off to my room before shutting the door behind me. I let out a small sob as I pushed my back against the door and slid down gently, covering my face in my hands.

I've lost the one thing that I loved.

My hand went to my pocket and I pulled out my phone before scrolling through the contacts and finding May's name. I clicked on it without a second though and I listened to it ring in my ear, hoping that she might pick it up.

"Alex? Are you okay?" May said when she picked up the phone.

"Do you love me enough to take me in?"

Notes

Title Credit: Lullabies by All Time Low

EmptySighsAndWine