Build. Destroy. Recreate.
Six
The day I had hoped to never come had arrived. I started dating Courtney exactly ten days ago today, and today I was packing up to get back on the road again to finish the tour. I hadn't told her yet, I knew I had to, she deserved to know that I wasn't going to be here tomorrow.
I knew this was going to be hard on both of us. I would love to just pack her bags and drag her off with me, but that would be selfish of me. Courtney needed to be here to finish school. She'd been working so hard and I would ruin all of that effort for her if I took her away with me.
"Alex, what's the matter," Courtney said, pulling me out of my thoughts, "You've spaced out for a minute there."
"I have something I need to tell you, Court," I told her, pulling her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her.
"What's on your mind, Alex," she asked as she rested her head on my shoulder.
"I have to go back on tour," I told her, she instantly sat up.
"When do you leave," she asked, I could tell she was saddened by the fact I had to leave her behind.
"I leave tomorrow," I told her, "While you're in class I'll be leaving for the next venue on the tour."
"I wish I could go with you," she sighed heavily.
"I do too," I replied, "But you have to stay behind. You still have school and I don't want to pull you away from that. You've worked really hard to get here and I would be selfish if I had you join me."
"I understand completely," she replied glumly, "I hate that I have school and you have tour. I want to stay with you longer."
"I wish I could stay longer, but I can't," I told her, "But we can make sure our remaining few hours together aren't wasted with being miserable about tomorrow."
It was time for Courtney to head to class, and this was our goodbye before I left for tour. I couldn't sleep at all last night, knowing that I was leaving behind my girlfriend to finish my tour. I knew I had time off after the tour to come back and spend a lot of time with her, but I wanted to spend time with her now.
"I don't want you to leave, Alex," Courtney said as I walked her to her class. I could tell she was trying to be strong and fight back the tears that were building in her eyes.
"I don't want to leave either, but I have to do what's right and finish this tour," I told her, "The fans have waited long enough on us and we need to get back out there. We can call, Skype, and text each other every waking minute we can. I will be back before you know it."
"Texting, Skyping, and phone calls aren't the same as you physically being here," Courtney complained.
"We have to make due," I told her before I took off my Glamour Kills jacket I was wearing and draped around her shoulders, "Hold onto this for me. It'll be something you can hold onto so you can remember all the great times we had while I was here."
"I'm going to miss you so much," Courtney started to cry as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I'll miss you too, Courtney," I replied as I wrapped my arms around her, "So fucking much, babe. I'll be back before you know it."
I knew this was going to be hard on both of us. I would love to just pack her bags and drag her off with me, but that would be selfish of me. Courtney needed to be here to finish school. She'd been working so hard and I would ruin all of that effort for her if I took her away with me.
"Alex, what's the matter," Courtney said, pulling me out of my thoughts, "You've spaced out for a minute there."
"I have something I need to tell you, Court," I told her, pulling her into my lap and wrapping my arms around her.
"What's on your mind, Alex," she asked as she rested her head on my shoulder.
"I have to go back on tour," I told her, she instantly sat up.
"When do you leave," she asked, I could tell she was saddened by the fact I had to leave her behind.
"I leave tomorrow," I told her, "While you're in class I'll be leaving for the next venue on the tour."
"I wish I could go with you," she sighed heavily.
"I do too," I replied, "But you have to stay behind. You still have school and I don't want to pull you away from that. You've worked really hard to get here and I would be selfish if I had you join me."
"I understand completely," she replied glumly, "I hate that I have school and you have tour. I want to stay with you longer."
"I wish I could stay longer, but I can't," I told her, "But we can make sure our remaining few hours together aren't wasted with being miserable about tomorrow."
It was time for Courtney to head to class, and this was our goodbye before I left for tour. I couldn't sleep at all last night, knowing that I was leaving behind my girlfriend to finish my tour. I knew I had time off after the tour to come back and spend a lot of time with her, but I wanted to spend time with her now.
"I don't want you to leave, Alex," Courtney said as I walked her to her class. I could tell she was trying to be strong and fight back the tears that were building in her eyes.
"I don't want to leave either, but I have to do what's right and finish this tour," I told her, "The fans have waited long enough on us and we need to get back out there. We can call, Skype, and text each other every waking minute we can. I will be back before you know it."
"Texting, Skyping, and phone calls aren't the same as you physically being here," Courtney complained.
"We have to make due," I told her before I took off my Glamour Kills jacket I was wearing and draped around her shoulders, "Hold onto this for me. It'll be something you can hold onto so you can remember all the great times we had while I was here."
"I'm going to miss you so much," Courtney started to cry as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I'll miss you too, Courtney," I replied as I wrapped my arms around her, "So fucking much, babe. I'll be back before you know it."
10/18/13