Build. Destroy. Recreate.
Twelve
After I rescued Courtney from that douche bag that tried to rape her, I had the guys help me clear out the house and kill the party. They stayed behind and helped me clean up. Courtney had changed out of her outfit and into one of my shirts and her pink and grey flannel pajama pants, washed off her make up, and popped in her overnight retainer. She sat on the couch curled up with her knees to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, resting her chin on her knees. I knew she was still freaking out over what had nearly happened, so I let her just stay there while us guys cleaned up the house.
"Is everything alright with Courtney," Rian asked, "I'm a little worried about her. She's been quiet since she came back downstairs."
"She's still freaking out over what happened. I can tell she just needs some space," I told him, "I'm afraid that she won't be able to be intimate with me after what happened. But I'm going to wait until I know she's over it until I try anything."
"You make us look bad, Lex," Jack joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Jack, that's not funny," we all looked up to see Courtney standing the entryway to the kitchen. I saw the tears in her eyes.
"Courtney," I started to walk towards her but she backed up away from me.
"Don't touch me, Alex," she warned.
"Courtney, I'm not doing this because I want to get laid," I told her, "I'm giving you time to heal after what nearly happened. Jack is being an asshole."
"Don't come near me Alex," she nearly shouted. I ignored her and took her into my arms. She pounded her fist into my shoulder as she tried to break free, but I was stronger than her and I held onto her tightly. She eventually stopped and started crying as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Everything is going to get better," I whispered into her ear, "You just need to time to find the strength to bury what happened. You need time to forget about it."
"I was so scared Alex," she sobbed into my chest as I stroked her hair, "I thought you'd never save me. That he would have..."
"Hush now, Courtney, don't talk about it anymore," I cooed as I picked her up and carried her upstairs, "Why don't you go to bed and I'll be up to join you once me and the guys are done cleaning up."
"Don't be long," she replied after a moment as I laid her down in our bed and tucked her in. I kissed her forehead before turning off the lamp on her side of the bed.
It's been a week since the party, and Courtney has gotten so much better. She was smiling again and she stopped wearing too many layers for the weather. She was definitely getting further into the mood, let me do some foreplay with her. We still haven't had sex since it happened because when I go further in our foreplay, she'll tense up and start to cry. I know she needs more time, and I respected that. I love her and I want what's best for her. So I take things slow for her, because her recovery is the only thing I want out of her right now. Sex can wait.
"Alex," I looked up from my guitar, since I was about to take Courtney to LA next week, I was working on writing a couple songs before heading out.
"What's up," I paused when I was about to say her name to find her in a black see through teddy over her black lace bra and matching panties. I swear my jaw hit the floor. This was the first time since the party she ever put on something that revealing.
"I think I'm ready to try," she replied, I could tell she was a little hesitant due to my reaction.
"Are you sure," I asked her.
"Yes," she replied. I put my guitar down and I raced over to her, taking her up into my arms, capturing her lips with mine.
Courtney and I arrived in LA and I could tell the flight had drained her energy. I had one concern on my mind, I didn't wear a condom when Courtney and I had sex last week. I was worried that she wasn't on the pill. If she ends up pregnant, I'm worried about how she'll react to it. I wasn't fully ready to try having a family with Courtney, since we've only been dating for seven and a half months. I won't dump her and ditch her to curb because of this. I was going to figure this out with her.
I'm worried about what she'll do once she finds out she is pregnant.
"Is everything alright with Courtney," Rian asked, "I'm a little worried about her. She's been quiet since she came back downstairs."
"She's still freaking out over what happened. I can tell she just needs some space," I told him, "I'm afraid that she won't be able to be intimate with me after what happened. But I'm going to wait until I know she's over it until I try anything."
"You make us look bad, Lex," Jack joked, trying to lighten the mood.
"Jack, that's not funny," we all looked up to see Courtney standing the entryway to the kitchen. I saw the tears in her eyes.
"Courtney," I started to walk towards her but she backed up away from me.
"Don't touch me, Alex," she warned.
"Courtney, I'm not doing this because I want to get laid," I told her, "I'm giving you time to heal after what nearly happened. Jack is being an asshole."
"Don't come near me Alex," she nearly shouted. I ignored her and took her into my arms. She pounded her fist into my shoulder as she tried to break free, but I was stronger than her and I held onto her tightly. She eventually stopped and started crying as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Everything is going to get better," I whispered into her ear, "You just need to time to find the strength to bury what happened. You need time to forget about it."
"I was so scared Alex," she sobbed into my chest as I stroked her hair, "I thought you'd never save me. That he would have..."
"Hush now, Courtney, don't talk about it anymore," I cooed as I picked her up and carried her upstairs, "Why don't you go to bed and I'll be up to join you once me and the guys are done cleaning up."
"Don't be long," she replied after a moment as I laid her down in our bed and tucked her in. I kissed her forehead before turning off the lamp on her side of the bed.
It's been a week since the party, and Courtney has gotten so much better. She was smiling again and she stopped wearing too many layers for the weather. She was definitely getting further into the mood, let me do some foreplay with her. We still haven't had sex since it happened because when I go further in our foreplay, she'll tense up and start to cry. I know she needs more time, and I respected that. I love her and I want what's best for her. So I take things slow for her, because her recovery is the only thing I want out of her right now. Sex can wait.
"Alex," I looked up from my guitar, since I was about to take Courtney to LA next week, I was working on writing a couple songs before heading out.
"What's up," I paused when I was about to say her name to find her in a black see through teddy over her black lace bra and matching panties. I swear my jaw hit the floor. This was the first time since the party she ever put on something that revealing.
"I think I'm ready to try," she replied, I could tell she was a little hesitant due to my reaction.
"Are you sure," I asked her.
"Yes," she replied. I put my guitar down and I raced over to her, taking her up into my arms, capturing her lips with mine.
Courtney and I arrived in LA and I could tell the flight had drained her energy. I had one concern on my mind, I didn't wear a condom when Courtney and I had sex last week. I was worried that she wasn't on the pill. If she ends up pregnant, I'm worried about how she'll react to it. I wasn't fully ready to try having a family with Courtney, since we've only been dating for seven and a half months. I won't dump her and ditch her to curb because of this. I was going to figure this out with her.
I'm worried about what she'll do once she finds out she is pregnant.
10/18/13