So Wrong, It's Right
Give Me Therapy
It's been a few weeks since Jack came home. Everything has been great for the most part. He's healed up nicely, Morgan left us alone, and now that all our friends knew what was going on, we had more opportunities to actually act like the couple we were. Which, might I add, has been going smoothly. No fights, plenty of affection, and when we're lucky, great sex.
The only real problem is that...Jack has been a bit different from the accident. At first, there wasn't much to be noticed but then it started to get worse. In the beginning there would just be days where Jack wanted to go home and not do anything. I thought it was just because he was sore or something, but we would barely talk while we were there.
Then Jack started coming into my room in the middle of the night, just to lay his head on my chest and sometimes he would even cry. He just walks in, wakes me up, and wants me to hold him. I always try to ask what's wrong, but he always tells me it's nothing, which it clearly a lie.
Then, about a week ago, he started having random bursts of anger. Anything could set it off.
The first time was when he was playing his guitar in his room. I guess it didn't sound right or something, cause he busted into my room while I was doing homework yelling. He accused me of messing with his guitar, and ranted about how they had a show that weekend, and he couldn't practice with a out of tune instrument. I tried to calmly tell him I didn't do anything, not wanting this to escalate but he just kept raging until he finally just left.
He came back two hours later feeling bad and apologizing as much as he could.
He even had this issue in front of our parents. Usually, it was me who got the blunt of his anger, but one night Joyce accidentally bumped into him while he was carrying some water and it spilled on his shirt. He blew up at her, Joyce seeming scared until I stepped in and made him leave the room. Once he calmed down, his mom and him at a private talk. Dad tried to ask me what was wrong with him but I had no real answer.
Currently, it's been a good four days since that incident. Jack was doing band practice, while I decided to stay home cause I felt like we needed some separation or something. He may not have yelled at him mom anymore, but I still have gotten screamed at these past few days.
I was sitting on the couch, cartoon on the T.V and my Algebra book in my lap. I felt the couch dip down and looked over to see Joyce.
“Hey,” I smiled, but it went away when I saw the serious look on her face. “Um...is everything okay?”
“I don't know.” Joyce admitted. “I think...I think Jack needs help.”
“O-oh?” I asked, and she nodded.
“I walked in yesterday on him screaming at you. I thought maybe the water spilling thing had only been a one time thing. That maybe he had a bad day, but he's been having these rage fits a lit hasn't he?” She asked. I sighed, and nodded. “Has Jack ever told you about his father?”
“Umm, no... No really, I just know he was a bad person.”
“He was terrible.” She confirmed. “But, I'll leave that story to Jack to tell you. The reason why I'm bringing this up is that I don't want to just force him to get some help. I want him to want it too. I also need a second opinion on it.”
“You're asking me if I think Jack needs help?”
“Yes, you're around him the most. Is there anything else I'm missing?” She asked.
“Well...yes. You're right, he does yell at me a lot. It's almost an every day thing. Not only that, but he has days where he's really....depressed I guess. He doesn't want to do anything, I try to ask him what's wrong, and he won't tell me. He won't let me leave him alone, he gets scared or something when I try to on these days.”
“Does his yelling and depression ever intermingle?”
“Yeah. A couple times it has. He switched around so fast I didn't even expect it.”
“So he does need help...”
“I think he does.”
“Do you think you could convince him to go with it?”
“I'll try.” I said. Joyce looked so heartbroken and upset. I patted her leg. “I can do it. He needs it, and I can make him see that too. Don't worry, okay?”
“I just don't want him to end up like his father.” She sniffled. “And it seems like he targets you, and I don't want you and Carl leaving me...”
“We won't, it's okay.” I leaned over and hugged her. Joyce and I bonded more when Jack got into his accident. It was a lot easier to be close to her. “I can handle him, alright? He's never actually hurt me, he just yells. It's no big deal.”
“When do you think you can talk with him?”
“I have an idea.” I assured, thinking back to when Jack sneaks into my room. I'm sure he'll visit again tonight.
It was a little late when Jack came back, he seemed really happy as he sat down for dinner. I was glad he didn't seem to be having an issues tonight. Maybe I won't have to talk to him.
“Why are you so happy?” I asked, as he hummed eating his food.
“We have so many shows booked! And our new manager Matt thinks a record company might some to a couple of them.”
“Really? That's awesome.” We high fived with a wink. It's become our thing to do in front of the rents instead of kissing. It was a promise to share one later.
“Just make sure you keep up with your homework.” Joyce commented, but smiling.
“I will, mom.” He promised. I couldn't help but sigh in relief, he didn't go off on her for that. Maybe he's just okay again. Even though, that was unrealistic thinking.
The rest of dinner went on smoothly. We all watched a game show together afterwards until Jack announced he was gonna take his nightly shower. I went back into my room shortly after to get ready for bed. It was a school night, plus I had tests coming up. Teachers were getting ready to shove as much info into our heads before the year ended in a few months.
I crawled into bed thinking I wouldn't miss any sleep tonight, but I was wrong. In the middle of an amazing dream, I felt my self being shaken awake.
“Ember wake up, please wake up.”
I groaned and peeled my eyes open. I looked up and saw Jack kneeling on my bed. I ignored the annoyance forming in my head and sat up, rubbing my eyes. He looked about ready to cry.
“What's wrong, hun?”
“I fucked up so bad today at practice.” He whined, immediately attaching his body to mine.
“I'm sure you did great, you're amazing at playing.” I assured, running a hand through his hair.
“No I'm not...and mom's right. What if I fail out of school and can't become a rockstar because of it?”
“I don't think rockstars need an education...” I chuckled, trying to lighten his mood.
“But I don't wanna be the dumb one.” he cried, burying his face into my chest. “You wouldn't want to be with an idiot either, right? I have to graduate and be successful or you'll leave me.”
“Jack, I won't okay? I don't care what you do in the future, I already love you now.”
“That can change.” He sobbed and I just sighed, hugging him closer.
Jack cried and sniffled into my shirt. I just let him let it out, petting his hair, rubbing his back, anything to calm him down. I would tell him he was wrong and that nothing would change, but it would be a waste of breath. He never believes it.
He really did need help.
“Jack, we need to talk.” I said, and he looked up at me scared. “No I'm not breaking up with you, but...you need to look at yourself right now. I think...I think you should see a therapist or something.”
The only real problem is that...Jack has been a bit different from the accident. At first, there wasn't much to be noticed but then it started to get worse. In the beginning there would just be days where Jack wanted to go home and not do anything. I thought it was just because he was sore or something, but we would barely talk while we were there.
Then Jack started coming into my room in the middle of the night, just to lay his head on my chest and sometimes he would even cry. He just walks in, wakes me up, and wants me to hold him. I always try to ask what's wrong, but he always tells me it's nothing, which it clearly a lie.
Then, about a week ago, he started having random bursts of anger. Anything could set it off.
The first time was when he was playing his guitar in his room. I guess it didn't sound right or something, cause he busted into my room while I was doing homework yelling. He accused me of messing with his guitar, and ranted about how they had a show that weekend, and he couldn't practice with a out of tune instrument. I tried to calmly tell him I didn't do anything, not wanting this to escalate but he just kept raging until he finally just left.
He came back two hours later feeling bad and apologizing as much as he could.
He even had this issue in front of our parents. Usually, it was me who got the blunt of his anger, but one night Joyce accidentally bumped into him while he was carrying some water and it spilled on his shirt. He blew up at her, Joyce seeming scared until I stepped in and made him leave the room. Once he calmed down, his mom and him at a private talk. Dad tried to ask me what was wrong with him but I had no real answer.
Currently, it's been a good four days since that incident. Jack was doing band practice, while I decided to stay home cause I felt like we needed some separation or something. He may not have yelled at him mom anymore, but I still have gotten screamed at these past few days.
I was sitting on the couch, cartoon on the T.V and my Algebra book in my lap. I felt the couch dip down and looked over to see Joyce.
“Hey,” I smiled, but it went away when I saw the serious look on her face. “Um...is everything okay?”
“I don't know.” Joyce admitted. “I think...I think Jack needs help.”
“O-oh?” I asked, and she nodded.
“I walked in yesterday on him screaming at you. I thought maybe the water spilling thing had only been a one time thing. That maybe he had a bad day, but he's been having these rage fits a lit hasn't he?” She asked. I sighed, and nodded. “Has Jack ever told you about his father?”
“Umm, no... No really, I just know he was a bad person.”
“He was terrible.” She confirmed. “But, I'll leave that story to Jack to tell you. The reason why I'm bringing this up is that I don't want to just force him to get some help. I want him to want it too. I also need a second opinion on it.”
“You're asking me if I think Jack needs help?”
“Yes, you're around him the most. Is there anything else I'm missing?” She asked.
“Well...yes. You're right, he does yell at me a lot. It's almost an every day thing. Not only that, but he has days where he's really....depressed I guess. He doesn't want to do anything, I try to ask him what's wrong, and he won't tell me. He won't let me leave him alone, he gets scared or something when I try to on these days.”
“Does his yelling and depression ever intermingle?”
“Yeah. A couple times it has. He switched around so fast I didn't even expect it.”
“So he does need help...”
“I think he does.”
“Do you think you could convince him to go with it?”
“I'll try.” I said. Joyce looked so heartbroken and upset. I patted her leg. “I can do it. He needs it, and I can make him see that too. Don't worry, okay?”
“I just don't want him to end up like his father.” She sniffled. “And it seems like he targets you, and I don't want you and Carl leaving me...”
“We won't, it's okay.” I leaned over and hugged her. Joyce and I bonded more when Jack got into his accident. It was a lot easier to be close to her. “I can handle him, alright? He's never actually hurt me, he just yells. It's no big deal.”
“When do you think you can talk with him?”
“I have an idea.” I assured, thinking back to when Jack sneaks into my room. I'm sure he'll visit again tonight.
It was a little late when Jack came back, he seemed really happy as he sat down for dinner. I was glad he didn't seem to be having an issues tonight. Maybe I won't have to talk to him.
“Why are you so happy?” I asked, as he hummed eating his food.
“We have so many shows booked! And our new manager Matt thinks a record company might some to a couple of them.”
“Really? That's awesome.” We high fived with a wink. It's become our thing to do in front of the rents instead of kissing. It was a promise to share one later.
“Just make sure you keep up with your homework.” Joyce commented, but smiling.
“I will, mom.” He promised. I couldn't help but sigh in relief, he didn't go off on her for that. Maybe he's just okay again. Even though, that was unrealistic thinking.
The rest of dinner went on smoothly. We all watched a game show together afterwards until Jack announced he was gonna take his nightly shower. I went back into my room shortly after to get ready for bed. It was a school night, plus I had tests coming up. Teachers were getting ready to shove as much info into our heads before the year ended in a few months.
I crawled into bed thinking I wouldn't miss any sleep tonight, but I was wrong. In the middle of an amazing dream, I felt my self being shaken awake.
“Ember wake up, please wake up.”
I groaned and peeled my eyes open. I looked up and saw Jack kneeling on my bed. I ignored the annoyance forming in my head and sat up, rubbing my eyes. He looked about ready to cry.
“What's wrong, hun?”
“I fucked up so bad today at practice.” He whined, immediately attaching his body to mine.
“I'm sure you did great, you're amazing at playing.” I assured, running a hand through his hair.
“No I'm not...and mom's right. What if I fail out of school and can't become a rockstar because of it?”
“I don't think rockstars need an education...” I chuckled, trying to lighten his mood.
“But I don't wanna be the dumb one.” he cried, burying his face into my chest. “You wouldn't want to be with an idiot either, right? I have to graduate and be successful or you'll leave me.”
“Jack, I won't okay? I don't care what you do in the future, I already love you now.”
“That can change.” He sobbed and I just sighed, hugging him closer.
Jack cried and sniffled into my shirt. I just let him let it out, petting his hair, rubbing his back, anything to calm him down. I would tell him he was wrong and that nothing would change, but it would be a waste of breath. He never believes it.
He really did need help.
“Jack, we need to talk.” I said, and he looked up at me scared. “No I'm not breaking up with you, but...you need to look at yourself right now. I think...I think you should see a therapist or something.”
Oh how I always come back to this story
1/27/18