I awoke the next morning to the feeling of my bed sinking. I sat up quickly, ready to commit murder, and sighed in relief when I noticed it was just my mom. She snickered to my actions and wrapped her arms around my sleepy frame. It had to have been early. There was no light coming through my window and the house was oddly silent. She picked up on my confusion and kissed my cheek.


"We're getting ready to leave. Carl didn't want to bother Ember by waking her up but I wanted to come say goodbye to you. Promise you won't do anything stupid while we're gone?"


"I don't make promises I can't keep," I smirked, which made mom playfully smack my arm. "Just go and have fun, mom."


"I'm serious, Jack. I want everything in one piece when I get back, including you."


"Everything will be fine. Have fun, okay? I love you."


"I love you, too. Goodnight sweetheart."


I laid back down, knowing perfectly well I wouldn't go back to sleep. It'd taken me four hours of tossing and turning just to get a nap in. The fight I had with Ember last night was driving me crazy. I was a dick. A total piece of shit. Why had no one told me about her mom? Everything made sense now. Fucking everything.


When I saw the glow of headlights leave my window, I crawled out of the bed and flipped my light on. When I picked up my cell phone, because I unplug my alarm clock on weekends, I realized it was only five thirty. There was only one other person I knew would be awake at this time, so I made a mental note to call him, but not before I tried to set things straight with Ember. There was no way in the world that I'd try to wake up her right now, so I sat down on my bed with a sheet of paper, a pen and a book and set to work.


Ember,
You have no reason to forgive me for what I said last night and I'm not sure how many times I have to apologize for what I said. I've never lost anyone close to me so I don't know how you feel, but having a shitty dad forced me to go through equally as much pain growing up.
My mom would never try to take your mom's place, please understand that. She's a great mom, but an even better friend. Why can't she just be your friend? No one's asking you to forget, Ember. Your mom can live on through you. That's something special that no one else in this world has but you. Just ask yourself one question: If you mom were here, would she be proud of the choices you're making?
Think about it. Once again, I'm sorry. If you let me, let us in, you might find the strength to lay your mom to rest. You both deserve it after all this time.
-Jack.


She'd probably find some reason to be mad at me over the letter, but I said what I needed to say. Grabbing my phone again, I sent a text to one of my best friends and crawled off of my bed. I tossed on a hoodie, a pair of skinny jeans and my chucks before I ran through the bathroom to fix my hair and brush my teeth. On my way to the front of the house, I slipped my note under Ember's door and left the house. Staring up my car, I drove to Zack's house, smiling when I saw him sitting on the front step dripping with sweat. How that boy managed to work out so early, I'll never know.


"Dude. Do I even wanna know why you're up so early?"


I chuckled as Zack as I pulled out of his driveway. He'd agreed to go with me to get coffee after I told him I needed to get my mind off of stuff. Zack was a pretty nice person, probably the only of my three best friends who wouldn't judge me or make fun of me for being so upset about Ember. Sure, I asked Alex for help last night, but I didn't tell him what was really on my mind. I wasn't ready for that yet.


Pulling into the parking lot of the coffee shop, I killed the engine. Zack and I made our way into the shop, both of us smiling at the sweet smell dancing around our noses, and placed our orders. Once they were up, we sat down at a table and he stared me down, waiting for me to spill my guts.


"So Ember's mom is dead."


"Wow. Forward."


"I kind of called her mom a jerk last night because I didn't understand why Ember hated my mom so much."


"Good job."


"And now she won't accept my apology."


"Who would?"


"But the worst part is I don't feel so bad about what I said because I didn't know, plus I've apologized until I've been blue in the face. It's more or less that I upset her at all. I have a problem, Zack."


"You're fucking her, aren't you?"


"What? No. She's technically my sister. But, well, that doesn't make this any easier. IthinkIhaveacrushonmysister."


Zack literally spat his coffee across the table. His eyes grew wide and he stared at me like I'd kicked a puppy or something. I winced. Was it really that bad? We're not blood, obviously. We've been under the same roof for like, no time at all. If anything, it's natural. This new, hot girl I've never met before who has no relation to me at all (by blood) was tossed into my life and I'm reacting the way any normal teenage boy would.. Right?


"Dude, no! That's.. Wrong!"


"Why? Tell me why it's so wrong."


He blinked a few times, trying to form the right words. I sat back in my seat, took a sip of my coffee and furrowed my brows, waiting for his response.


"What would your mom think? What would Carl think?"


"I don't fucking know. It's not like I'm going to act on it. I just needed to tell someone."


"Well." He sighed, shaking his head with a small smile. "I can't say I don't approve because she's totally hot, it's just.. Weird. You know, she's your sister. Even if it's just by marriage."


"I shouldn't mention this to her, should I?"


"I wouldn't."


I let out a deep groan and shook my head. From there, we sat in silence, both of us lost in thought about what I'd just said. I honestly don't know how long I'll be able to put up with not doing something about this Ember situation. It's like she's taunting me every single time she steps out of the bathroom in a towel, or we pass each other in the hallway at night and she give me a sleepy smile. Even the way she smiles when she thinks I'm not looking. Fuck. This needs to end. I just need to get laid. Yep, that's it.


"I need a shower. You ready?"


Nodding at Zack, we made our way back to my car. It was a ten minute drive to drop him off and a fifteen minute drive back to my house. At least it was already eight so I didn't have to worry too much about waking Ember up. Honestly, I was just nervous. What if she read my letter and decided to attack me again now that our parents were gone? I'm so sick of watching what I do and say around her.


Knowing I couldn't avoid it any longer, I pushed open my front door and clicked the lock behind me. I figured I might as well go back to bed since I would want my energy for tonight. Kicking off my shoes by the door, I climbed the stairs and started making my way to my room. But that's when I saw a small, sad eyed girl sitting on my bed with a sheet of notebook paper in her hands. This was it, she was going to kill me. Sucking in a breath, I stepped through door.


I was surprised to see Ember brush off her cheeks before she looked at me. Oh God, did I make her cry? I didn't want to make her cry. I braced myself for the screams that were sure to come, but they didn't. Instead, Ember stood up and flicked her wrist as if to thank me for the note. What the fuck was happening. She put her head down, which made some strands of hair fall in her face. It was that moment that I lost control of my body. Without even realizing it, I moved quickly across the room and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She leaned into my body, a sigh falling from her lips. Then she did something I never expected. She hugged back.


Whether or not she was mad at me, I don't know. All I know is that she'd been crying and she was hugging me, that is, until she sniffed gently against my chest, gave me a small squeeze and then pulled away from our hug. I never got the chance to ask what was wrong, because I was left with nothing but her scent, almost like she was never there at all.

Notes

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