School was hard. I could barely focus on anything, which was normal, but today I kept catching shit from my teachers for not paying attention or answering questions when my name was called. Even Alex and Rian seemed to pick up on the fact that something was bothering me, because they were begging me to come hang out with them after school. On a normal day, I would have done so, happily. But today was different. I had to tell them about mine and Ember's fight with personal products last night and they believed me well enough that nothing was bothering me, besides that, to leave me alone and let me go shopping after school.


Truthfully, I don't know why I let Ember piss me off so much this morning. At first, I thought her getting in my face and poking me was cute. But when she shoved me, it just set me off. I hated myself for hurting her the way I had. It wasn't like me, especially when it came to a girl. I won't deny that she deserved it, but now I just felt like a monster. Seeing her cry would have made me happy had it been over something small.. Not me literally causing her pain.
She didn't deserve my kindness, but for my own sake, I had to do something to make up for what I had done. One small act to let her know that I felt bad for hurting her this morning, then I could go back to hating her like I always had. But what to do? I could do nothing for her wrists, just like she could do nothing for my nose, but I couldn't sit back and be content with the tears I saw in her eyes this morning.


Well, maybe it wasn't just that. Maybe it was also how cute she was wearing my cologne. Or maybe it was the way her breath caught in her throat when I mumbled into her ear. I was just thankful she didn't notice the excitement I felt being thath close to her. Perhaps this was all just a selfish act to make sure we don't get that close to each other again. I hate Ember, I couldn't possibly allow myself to become even more attracted to her. It was out of the question.


So, I stopped by the store on the way home. I bought a tube of tooth paste for myself, more shampoo and a new tooth brush for Ember. It still wouldn't be enough to make up for what had happened earlier, so I raced home, hoping to beat her there since she didn't have a ride and had to ride the bus. Ember's style wasn't much different from my own and I knew I'd never be able to replace some of the things she had, but if she asked my mom nice enough I knew the woman would take Ember to buy new clothes.


My feet carried me to the laundry room first. I stripped off my shirt and tossed it on the floor to avoid ruining it. Then, I began to sort through the bleach covered fabric. There were a lot of band tee's, which made me feel bad. She wasn't lying. I groaned and put the clothes back, running them through a long rinse so that they could be dried and thrown away. From there, I went up to my room and threw open my closet.


Most of my shirts would eat Ember alive, but this was the best peace offering I could manage. If I did this, we might be able to keep our distance from one another, at least long enough for mom and Carl to trust us enough to go on their honeymoon. My fingers wrapped around my oldest, black Blink shirt. They didn't make this one anymore, so I knew there was no chance Ember had this one or would ever find another one like it. Honestly, it was my favorite shirt, ever. But she needed it more than I did now.


It nearly killed me, but I folded the shirt up, placed the tooth brush on top of it and made my way into Ember's room. I'd never really been in here before, not without wanting to stab something, so I took it in. It smelled like her, which made me smile faintly. Letting out a sigh, I dropped the two items on her bed and left the room like I was never there. After putting my new shampoo and tooth paste in the bathroom, there was nothing left for me to do but wait. If Ember was still out for blood, she'd attack again. If not, we'd just have to avoid each other until this week of Hell was over.


Back in my room, I grabbed my guitar and sat down on my bed. Why in the Hell did I feel this way? Ember is not a nice girl. She doesn't care about anyone but herself, she should be thankful my mom took in her and Carl. She should be thankful that the woman wakes up every morning and makes us all breakfast and does the best she can for us. Fuck, she should even be glad that I get along with Carl enough not to have him breathing down our necks all of the time. Also, because of me, she could at least say she almost had friends in this town. If she would lose her attitude, Rian, Zack and Alex would love her.


If she wasn't so stubborn she could have it made here, but if she doesn't care, why should I?!
I let out a frustrated groan and started randomly strumming on my guitar. This was the one luxury I had left that Ember could take away, and if she tried, I would literally bury her in the backyard.

Notes

Awe, look at Jack trying to cope with things. How cute! What do you guys think of Jack & Ember's relationship? Let's try to give this story a little more love. ^.^
-Jess.