When I Was Your Man

"Get the fuck out here you fucking cunt! I'm gonna kill you!" Alex screams, clutching a knife in his left hand, as he goes up in their room, once shared and held so much memories. The room they spent all their weekends cuddled up with each other and watching cheeky chick-flicks, now nothing but dried blood stains on walls and tear stained carpet floors.

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"Baby, look! They're beautiful!" Jack said, pointing at the flower boutiques lined up across the park where he and Alex was currently walking to.

The hand that was entangled to his' was suddenly gone.

"Don't be stupid Jack. Those are just some wasteful shit. I'm not buying you that." Alex said, sending Jack a death glare and gesturing for the younger to walk next to him, feeling a little disappointed. But he knows better than to argue with Alex.

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"I'm so glad you invited us Rian." Jack said, smiling sweetly across Rian whose hands were entwined with his fiance, Cassadee.

He turned his head towards the scowling Alex beside him. Giving him a scoff as he said the words to Rian. Muttering a 'Yeah, right' under his breath.

"Yeah, man. It's cool. It's good that you could drag Alex here too. I thought he didn't want to come, y'know." Rian said, giving Cass a shy kiss on her cheeks.

Jack felt a pang of jealousy, wanting that kind of relationship with Alex too. Slowly, without even thinking, he slid his hand up with Alex's on the table.

Alex was surprised at the sudden affection Jack was giving him. No consent at all. It angered Alex that the younger boy was being all lovey with him in public. They've discussed this.

He suddenly snapped and stood up, "I'll be in the car. See ya." then he was gone.

Jack was left, eyes welling with tears and hurt. "I-i'm sorry, Ri."

"Don't be. Are you okay? Wanna go get him, hun?" Cass said, concern in her eyes.

"No, we'll talk it out later at home." the younger boy said. But he knows there would be no talking at all. Just new bruises.

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"Baby, come to bed. I miss you." Jack lazily says, voice still husky from just waking up. Standing up to see Alex on his desk again, writing, just like the last few nights. He walks over to him, scratching his bruised arms carefully.

"C'mon, Lex. I wanna cuddle." he wraps an arms around Alex, and that ticked the older boy off.

Jack should know that Alex was busy writing for their next album. He's been stressing out from all the pressure the recording company's giving them.

"I don't have time for your shit Jack! Can't you see I'm busy? And I will be for the next few weeks. So just shut up! God dammit." Alex snapped. Grabbing tightly at Jack's arm to drag him inside their bedroom again.

"L-lex. Ple-stop! You're hurting m-me. Ple-" he pleaded. Tears running down his eyes. Unable to hold back choked sobs as Alex threw him recklessly on the bed.

"And fucking stay. I don't need you clinging on to me the next few days. And cover that forming bruise. I don't have time for that shit." He said coldly. Voice hidden with so much emotion. Harsh and cruel.

"I-i'm sorry, Lexy-y. I'll stay a-away." the younger boy said. Sitting up, as Alex shuts the door and locking it from the outside.

Jack just sits on the bed, hugging his legs to his chest. Sobbing away the pain his heart is feeling.

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"Okay, Matt. We'll be there. I'll see you." Alex said on the phone.

Alex turned to Jack, giving him a nonchalant look before saying, "Get up, get dressed. We're going at a party tonight."

Jack quickly got up, headed towards their room to find a new shirt for the party. Nothing so special. Alex always says that he doesn't want him to look so pleasing for the eyes, thinking that other men would want him, and that put a smile on Jack's face, reminding him that Alex was jealous. Jealous because he loves him.

Jack is oblivious.

"C'mon, Jack!" He heard Alex's snappy tone from downstairs. Hurrying up and picking all the stuff he needs for tonight.

(At the party)
Loud music was blaring from the speakers. And Alex was a little bit buzzed now, so was Jack.

Far from reality, Jack snaked his hands to Alex's waist hesitantly, not wanting to make Alex angry.

"When's the last time we danced, baby?" He asked his partner, who just looked at him unbelievably and shakes his head.

"I don't dance stupid. Let go." Alex said bluntly. Rolling his eyes on the younger boy in front of him, trying his best to untangle himself from the younger's grasp.

"C'mon Lex. you know I love to dance. Just.. Just this once. Then we'll leave." Jack insisted, trying to be all sweet to his lover, not thinking straight that trying to push Alex was the worst thing he did.

"I don't care! Let me go, you're disgusting! Dance with someone else, stupid. 'Cause you'll never make me. Go!" Alex yelled. No matter how loud the music was blasting, Jack could clearly hear what the older boy said to him. That was the last straw.

He took up much more alcohol in his system to be confident and find someone to dance with. Like Alex said.

Stumbling through the sea of people jumping and downing more drinks, his eyes wandered to this boy with a nose ring. His hair was blonde and his body was toned. Too toned, but Jack could care less because he found himself walking ridiculously towards that man.

"Hey. I'm Jack."

"Jason. Nice to me--"

"Wanna dance?"

The boy could only nod to Jack's request.

Not long enough they were grinding in the middle of the crowd, hot and sweaty. But not one cared because for a very long time now, Jack felt like he was wanted. Like he was loved. Like someone actually needed him. The kind of feeling he's been needing, wanting from Alex.

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To say that Alex's blood was boiling in rage right now would have been an understatement.

Because right now he's just fucking pissed at Jack and is about to tear someone's head off.

Alex didn't know why he was hurting from Jack's actions towards that boy right now. He was just afraid that Jack would leave him, then again, why wouldn't he? Alex was nothing but an ass to him, pushing him away, abusing him. To be perfectly honest, Alex was aware that he's hurting Jack.

But that was the only way he could make Jack stay with him, it was a fucked up logic if you ask Alex, but he's far too blinded to even see the logic in their relationship. To scare Jack, so he'd stay. Hurt the younger so he'd have no reason to leave. Threaten the boy he loves and insult him, step on his dignity to try and make him your and only yours. Make him believe that no one would want him so you'd be together.

It's perfect, right?

No, it's not. And Alex know that.

The next thing that happened was a blur.

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"Alex! Stop! You're hurting me!" Jack screamed but he doubt that people would hear him from the loud music that's blasting from the speakers.

"Seriously Alex, stop! Let go of me!" He pleaded again. Alex wanted him to dance with someone else right? Alex made it clear that he doesn't want him anymore.

Alex doesn't love him anymore. The realization just kicked him in the gut, almost making him throw up all over the place. How has he been so oblivious? Come to think of it, Alex never really payed attention to him. Never in three years they were together.

Yeah, sure there were times that he and Alex would cuddle up that would end up with them making out and sex on the couch, but in all those years, he never really did realize that Alex was never there for him.

Through out ever concert they shared Alex would be distant after. Partying was difficult because Alex doesn't want him to go. Jack was too blinded that he didn't see that Alex was using him. For what? God knows what.

He has to leave. He knows he has to leave. But, does he want to leave?

No. Because he loves Alex. All the bruises, cuts, insults and threats were all worth it every time Alex was sweet and caring for him.

But everything was just getting a little too much.

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"Get the fuck out here you fucking cunt! I'm gonna kill you!" Alex screams, clutching a blood-stained knife in his left hand, as he goes up in their room, once shared and held so much memories. The room they spent all their weekends cuddled up with each other and watching cheeky chick-flicks, now nothing but dried blood stains on walls and tear stained carpet floors.

Jack was dead-scared for his life, cuts on his cheeks and arms, fresh bruises forming on his abdomen. Everything hurt and ached. And all he wanted was for Alex to stop and take his hand. Give him a tight hug and tell him everything is going to be fine.

But that's bullcrap. Jack knows better, and this is far from fine.

"Jack! Get outta here! I'll fucking cut you again!" He screamed. Probably because of all the alcohol he had from the party. Alex has never gone this far before. Never threatened to kill him.

Jack knows that he's gonna die tonight. Or he could grow a fucking pair and get out of this house. Get out of this closet he's in and pack his thing, go to his mom. It would be better. Or get out of this closet and get stabbed by Alex and die.

He'll take the risk.

It takes all Jack's energy to stand up and slide away from the closet he's in. Greeted by a furious Alex, clutching a knife on his hands, the same knife he used to cut Jack earlier.

"There you are you little prick." He said, lips turned into a devilish smirk. A smirk that only a psychopath would own.

"I'm leaving Alex, I-i.. I can't do this. You've hurt me far too much for four years. A-and.. I think.. I think it's time for a break." the younger boy said. Tears streaming down his cheeks, stinging the freshly cut skin.

And that scared Alex. As in shitscared him. He never thought Jack would ever leave him. Would have the guts to leave him. He knew he would be nothing without the younger boy. Nothing to wake up to, nothing to go home to. This house would be too empty for his liking.

Alex stood there petrified, for a very long time, he's feeling tears welling up in his eyes. It stings. It really does.

He watched as Jack pulls out a duffel bag from above the closet, he remembered promising Jack that they'd travel once they got settled in a house. Never once did they do that. Only on tour, that is.

The older boy stood there, watching in awe and shock. His legs failing to hold him up. Say it be too dramatic, but to Alex, everything seems to move in slow motion for him. Probably the alcohol or his anger.

It seems like Jack was taking forever to pack his bags, leaving Alex a tear stained mess. Slowly sinking down on his knees. Dropping the blood-painted knife beside him.

"I-i'm sorry..." He said. And what he said next was a surprise to Jack, but those words could never take back the pain and bruises he has. He's been waiting for Alex to say that to him for a very long time. But this time, no, this time it won't work. "....I love- I love you, Jack."

With those words left, Alex realized that he really do. He meant it. But the younger boy only shakes his head. As he finished packing all his stuff, he walked past Alex, whispering "I'm staying at my mom's. I-i... I don't think I'll come back, Lex. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm sorry for.. but.. I'm sorry."

As much as Jack wants to say the words back. He can't.. he knows he's too weak, and fall back into Alex's arms in a split second. He loves the boy too much. And to see the one he loves so broken and lost, breaks his heart.

But Jack can't force himself to Alex anymore. He doesn't know how long his body can hold on for any longer from all the abuse he's had.

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"Can I stay here, mom?" He whispers, clearly ashamed that he's staying with his mom, but he has no choice. He has no one.

"What happened, honey? Come on in, it's freezing out there!" His mom, Joyce, said. Taking Jack's duffel bag inside, looking out as if she's expecting someone's with Jack. "You're alone, hun? Where's Alex?" She asked, concern filling her tone.

"I-i left him, mom. He--I, I've.. had too much. I just, I can't take it anymore, mom." He sobs, hugging his mother, like he was a child once again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I can't..I, not.. Not right now." As he chokes away his sobs onto his mom's tear-soaked shirt.

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"Let me go! I need to see him! Rian, let me go!!!" Alex screamed as he struggles from Rian's grasp. Tears still falling from his eyes.

It's been three weeks and he's been miserable without Jack. And it's been a week since he'd been informed that Jack was seen hanging out with that guy he's dancing with at the party. It pained Alex to know how Jack moved on so fast. But could he really blame the younger boy? He's done more than enough damage to Jack.

But he's determined to get him back. He just can't live without the kid.

It's the start of their next tour and the whole band has been affected by their huge break up. Jack's scars and bruises slowly healing and disappearing. As for Alex, he might be physically flawless, but on the inside, his heart is breaking everytime a memory of Jack pops in his mind. Which is, almost all day and night.

"You know, you can't Alex! You're unstable! You're a mess! Just... just let him go, Lex! He's getting better! He's finally happy!" Rian tried to explain, but failed as Alex connected his fists to Rian's jaw. Sending back wards, giving Alex time to run inside the tour bus.

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His feelings for Alex never faded in the span of three weeks, sure he's been spending time with Jason, but they're just friends. And Jason understands that.

"He's outside, you know. Don't you wanna talk to him?" Jason asked, holding him into a tight embrace, to other people, it would look like they're cuddling.

"I can't.. I, he's not in.. good.. condition right now. It'd be dangerous." the younger boy said, tears streaming down his eyes. Red and puffy from the non-stop crying.

"I know.. I just do--"

"Jack!"

Both boys were shocked as Alex bursts in the bus door. Eyes are red and swollen, eye bags are impossible to ignore. And his face was stained with tears and dried snot.

"A-alex.. What.. What are you doing here?" the younger boy asked.

"I was here to get you back, baby. I miss you."

"Forget it, Alex. Leave me alone." the boy stood up, and dragged himself to his own bunk. Leaving Jason and a sobbing Alex.

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"What the.." Jack said as he heard something tapping on his bedroom window. Tour had ended and he's exhausted.

As he stood up, there were pebbles being thrown on his window. Pissed off, he walked toward the window and opened it, thinking it was just stupid teenagers trying to mess with their home.

But to his surprise, stood outside was Alex holding an acoustic guitar. Only in his shirt and a skinny, and it was freezing outside.

"Alex, what the fuck are you doing?" he asked.

Alex said nothing, only tuned his guitar properly and started to strum. It has been completely four months since their break up. But none of them even moved on, not even a little bit.

Jack stood there in disbelief. And his stomach fluttered when he finally figured out what Alex was trying to play.

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But he's dancing with another man

Alex started to cry, holding back sobs as he continued to strum. Just pouring his heart out for the man he loves.

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But he's dancing with another man

Now Alex was a sobbing mess, most of his words barely understandable. But Jack could care less. He felt Alex's heart is sorry for everything he did. And Jack's feelings for the other man formed into tears that falls from his eyes to the window pane.

Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man

Both men were sobbing now, but Alex couldn't stay stood longer, he's exhausted from all the crying he's been doing. He hasn't slept well. And haven't eaten anything, the only thing he's taking was a bottle of Jack Daniel's. And it isn't helping.

Jack never fails to be amused and be struck in awe at Alex's angelic voice. His eyes were a blur and the only thing he could hear was his own sobs.

"Jack, can you hear me?" the older boy said. His voice was worn out and husky.

"I do, Lex. Get on the front door. I'll be right there." Jack said, trying not to sound like he was crying but failing.

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"I can't ask you to take me back, Jack. But all I want is for you to forgive me.. for everything I did to you. I swear I regret every single thing I did. And I understand if you hate me and--"

He was cut off by Jack's lips on his own. Sweet yet passionate. Slow yet not enough.

"I forgave you, right after I stepped out of that house. And I could never hate you, Alex. I love you too much. Can we... Can we start? All over again?"

"I promise to make things right. I swear to never go back to my old habit. I love you, Jack. I love you so much." He wraps his worn out arms to Jack's thin waist, "Don't ever leave me again, baby."

"I won't, Lex. Never again. I love you."

"I love you too, Jack."

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"Dad! Why's daddy hurting you?!" Their 4 year old daughter, Callie, asked.

"Daddy's just mad, baby girl. Go to your room. Dad's gonna be fine. Go on." Jack said, tasting the metallic blood oozing from his lips.

"Jack! Get the fuck outta here! Don't make me say it again!" Alex yelled from downstairs.

Jack and Callie winced at the tone, threatening. Cold. Emotionless.

It was like de ja vu, re-living that scenario 6 years ago. But Jack won't stand a fight. He left before, he can still leave now.

"Baby girl, go to your room and get your Spongebob backpack okay? Put all your favorite clothes and all the things you need in it, alright? Then wait for me there. I swear I will get you and we'll go to Nanny's okay?" Jack said, tears forming on his eyes. Voice merely a whisper. The little girl nodded and ran towards her room.

Alex promised to never do it again. And for the 3rd time this week. He's lost his tempter to Jack. Whenever the younger did something stupid. He'd make a big deal and a big fight over it.

And right now, he couldn't even remember why he was holding a knife, going upstairs to his and Jack's room.

It was just like the last time. And he's just gonna make sure Jack isn't gonna leave this time.

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"C'mon baby girl. Just jump. I'll catch you." Seeing her daughter cry like that hurts Jack the most. His arms and chest were bleeding where Alex had cut it. Good thing he kicked him in his crotch, giving Jack time to run and get his daughter.

He could hear Alex from the inside, trying to open Callie's door.

"C'mon Callie, you need to jump now. Daddy's almost in there. Trust me, baby girl. I'll catch you."

And she did. Jack holding his arms out to catch the kid.

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"I'm so sorry, Jack! Please go home. I miss you and my daughter!" Alex pleaded. Five months have passed, and he didn't even know why he let it this be too long for him to get his family together again.

"The last time you promised you'll never hurt me! I can take everything you can give me, Alex! But to threaten our daughter?! Alex, that's just fucking sick! Go to Hell!" Jack have had enough. He has forgiven Alex for too much. And this was enough. To put his daughter at risk.

"Alex, you need professional help. And if you get better. I swear, we'll go home. But, right now.. you need to get better."

"I will, I fucking promise that I will, Jack. I--"

"Stop. Promises are just lies tied up in pretty ribbons. Do it, before I believe you. But right now, I need you to leave." Jack said, coldly. Although by this time, he was in the verge of crying.

"Can't I see Callie before I go?"

"She's scared of you, Lex. I don't think she wants to. Now leave."

And Alex did, once he was gone. Jack closed the door and cried against it. Sobs ripping their way out of his lungs. He can't take it. He wants Alex.

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"Remember when we were young? I used to be so aggressive." Alex said, holding Jack's hands as they drive to Callie's high school graduation.

"Yeah, I try not to remember that, babe." Giving Alex a kiss on the cheek. Smiling widely as a familiar song played on the radio.

"You remember that song?" Jack asked, squeezing tightly at his lover's hands.

They both sang, reminiscing the memories they had when they were young and naive. It doesn't matter if they were bad memories. Those events in their lives made them stronger. And made their love for each other grow.

"Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But he's dancing with another man

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong man like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should've have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should've gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby's dancing
But he's dancing with another man

Although it hurts
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
'Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man"

They both looked at each other, parked the car in the school's parking lot.

Leaning forward to catch each others lips, thankful that times have changed for both of them. And thanking God that they were better now. Thanking everyone that stood beside them when they needed it. And thanked each other, because for the love they shared.

"I love you, Jack. Don't you ever forget that."

"I love you too, Lex. Forever and always."

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Notes

Uhm. What? Idk what I feel about this one.
I always wanted to write a fic based on When I Was Your Man.

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I hope this fic isn't as depressing as it should be.
Uhm. :)) but hey! I gave it a happy ending. So.....

Feedback would be nice? Thanks! <3333 i love you all completely!