Alex’s POV

“Five years ago today marks the battle my brother went through, these words I say and lyrics I sing have always been apart of me but have been unspoken. Whoever hears my voice I don’t want pity from, I just want to know someone cares.” I say, standing on the crystal fountain with my black acoustic guitar strapped around my neck as the people pass by Towson Circle on this breezy, light snow falling day, myself a bit chilly from the breeze since I’m just wearing a hoodie too light for this kind of weather but it’s all I got so I don’t complain. It’s winter break for all the students at Dulaney and I know I need to get out of the house, I don’t want to spend anymore time there than I have to, it’s not a home, it’s just a place full of terror and regret from past memories that still haven’t been learned to be forgiven and forgotten.

Starting up the first chord I start singing the sad ballad of my brother, Tom was my whole life but when he left I didn’t have anyone to protect me from my fears. I’m seventeen now and those monsters from when I was younger decided they needed to become bigger and fill my mind into some sort of depression and come around me. Sometimes the voices come inside me and tell me things like “You’ll never be good enough,” “Stop living,” and “You’re better off dead, Tom should still be standing.” I believe every word of it. Ever since Tom died of heart cancer I was the one to be bruised and beaten by my own parents. All the people I loved turned on me after just a few weeks of dating them and it hurt. I just don’t know get it, did I do something wrong? Am I failure for my own good? Everything turned on the bruised and broken boy named me, Alexander William Gaskarth, the pansexual kid who everyone just seems to hate.

Turning to the last verse a person puts twenty dollars in my guitar case below where I stand. He just listens to the song I play and when I finish he says something.

“Your singing was wonderful, you’re going to go far kid.” The skunk haired man says to me.

“Thank you, that’s a first to be honest. Take your money though, I don’t need it.” I say, lying through my now turning yellow crooked teeth and passing back the twenty.

“No, I want you to have it. You need it more than me, where are you from?” He asks, shoving back the paper bill.

“Just a bit farther from here, maybe about twenty minutes sir.” I tell him, shivering through my light, cold coat.

“Let me take you home, this is no place for a young boy like you to be in this kind of weather.” The man says, putting an arm around my small, thin and frail body.

“No! I can’t go!” I say a bit too quickly.

“Why not? Home is a safe place is it not?”

I don’t say anything, just pretend I didn’t listen and don’t answer. Home isn’t safe for me, I shouldn’t even be here to be honest. I should be at home, locked in my room but I snuck out to play my guitar here in town

“You don’t want to tell me ‘eh? Well that’s okay, how about we just go grab something warmer for you to wear.” He says,putting his arm around me, leading me to a store and myself not telling him no, anything warmer would be more than enough of kindness and I thank every moment I have with this strangely kind man. No one has ever been this kind to me in years, this man must have a big heart.

“What’s your size?” The man asks, sifting through L.L Bean jackets that are more heavyweight than my small hoodie.

“I-I-I don’t know. I haven’t been shopping in a long time, this was just my brothers.” I say, accidentally speaking about Tom. I shouldn’t be talking about him, even just for a moment.

“Where is this brother of yours?” The elder says, raising his eyebrow at me and stopping for a moment to look at me.

“Gone sir.”
“To college?”

“No, d-dead. He died from cancer five years ago but my family never got rid of his stuff.” I say truthfully, all of his stuff still stands in place as it has for years. Everything covered at home with a large layer of dust.

“Opening up a bit? Hey I never got your name. I’m Jack, Jack Barakat.” The handsome man says. Wait handsome? Well he is after all.

“Alex Gaskarth, sir.”

“Alex you don’t need to call me sir, Jack is perfectly okay. Now let me see your jacket so I can get the size. We don’t need you to be cold anymore.” He says and then I take off my coat to reveal a sheer black tee. It’s not that I’m poor but when everyone including your parents hate you, you have to deal with what you have and take care of it until you just can’t anymore.

“What color?” Jack asks, holding up a dark blue jacket and a black one, both looking so warm and toasty.

I point to the black one and then he starts looking for matching gloves.

“Jack you don’t need to do this for me. I don’t need to have pity felt on me.” I say, leaving him in shock.

“Alex don’t think for a single second I feel pity on you. I care, and even though I don’t know much about you I still care. I’m not the devil, you can trust me, I promise.” The raven haired man says, walking towards me but I back away.

“I can’t trust anyone. Promises are just presents wrapped up lies!” I yell slightly, not enough to make anyone care though.

I run out the revolving door not wanting to stay near Jack, people make lies and they never keep their promises. Tom said that he would never leave and he promised, he promised he would stay with me to protect me from mom and dad when they got rough. Zannie said she would never let me go but she lied and went after the high school quarterback behind my back, I was torn but nothing tore me more apart than Hillary, she was my first love, my first kiss, my first everything with the exception of sex. She broke up with me before that, I gave all I could but I never got anything in return. I just tried my best and gave it my all but she threw me all away for Kellin Quinn, I’m not complaining though since after all he is better looking, better voice and better at sports than me. I’m just that kid with the black acoustic singing for people that he doesn’t even know in hopes for some love.

I just continue running and running, till my skinny body crashes into the fluffy almost a foot snow, blacking out into a hopeful abyss so I don’t have to take anymore pain from society….

Notes

Hey everyone! Welcome to my new story, Don't Forget I'm a Lightweight, the Jalex Student/Teacher fic.
I feel as this is an okay work of mine, this isn't the best I've written but I had wanted to get it up before I leave for vacation this Friday-Monday to visit a friend up in my old town.
As you can tell I wanted to make Alex all bruised and battered up, as well as being Pansexual.
I want to know how you like it so tell me what you think in the comments, give me tips, tell me what you want because I can't write without something to work off of or just something helpful.
Till darkness completes us,
Sarah's Butterflies