Princess
Flashbacks and Photographs
Arianna's POV
It's a few hours later, pretty late at night, and Alex and I are laying on my bedroom floor laughing at old pictures of me and Jack as little kids. I don't even know how this happened. He was never supposed to get close to me. No one is. But somehow, he did it.
Then it happens. The one picture that should never be seen again. I should have burned it.
"Arianna? Who's in this picture?"
It's my perfect memory. One of very few. It's a picture of me, Rian, my dad, and my mom as well as Jack and his parents at Disney World. We're right outside of the big castle, and we're all smiling. I start to cry, and I can't control it. That's all gone.
"Oh my gosh, Ari. Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, Alex. That's just not the picture I was expecting to see. As far as I'm concerned, that no longer exists."
He's clearly taken aback by the fierceness of my words. But instead of running, of moving away like I know he should have, he moved closer. Wrapping an arm around me, something I would never let anyone let alone the likes of him do, he started rocking me. Holding me close to him. And....I let it happen. It was amazing to feel loved again.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He whispers softly in my ear.
"I think I do, Alex. I think I do." I say uncertainly.
"You haven't told anyone before, have you?"
"No. But I think I need to."
"Well go ahead sweetheart."
I take a deep breath:
"Jack Barakat was my best friend for years. As you can see now, we've always lived close to each other. Our parents were friends, the whole deal. Then, slowly things started changing. First, my dad left. No one could explain it. No one even tried. It was just me, Rian, my mom, and Jack. But that was even okay. I could survive without my dad. Or so I thought. Things didn't get better though. And that's where the real problems started.
My mom found a new guy, a few years ago. She also got really sick. Lung cancer, stage 4. She passed away in a matter of months from its discovery. Unfortunately, she lasted long enough to marry Martin, my "step-father" , although that's the last time you'll ever hear me refer to him as family.
My mom became too incapacitated to handle me or Rian, let alone realize who Martin really was. He's a lying bastard, and an abusive one at that. He works, and has a lot of money, but nothing you see around here involves it. This is all what my mom left and what Rian and I work for.
Martin's abused me as long as I can remember him. He's never touched Rian though. He's too scared of someone who could match him, but he knows I'm too weak. The verbal stuff is the worst. It's what's caused me to be the mess you see before you.
I've worked really damn hard, Alex. I pushed Jack out of my life because it was too painful to remember a time when I had all I could have asked for. He doesn't even know my mom's dead. I starve myself, and I cut myself, all to be perfect. I have the attitude I need to protect myself. No one gets close, and I don't have problems."
I run out of breath, and look up at Alex whose arms have unknowingly formed a steel cage around me. I feel safe here. Out of nowhere, he's sobbing.
"Arianna, I am so sorry. When I came here I judged you. I assumed you just had everything, and I can't believe I wouldn't even look at you long enough to see all these problems.
You see, I understand a little of what you're going through. My dad left too, and it caused my brother to go over the edge and kill himself. It's why I moved here. My mom's hardly ever around, so I'm pretty much on my own.
I don't like to let people get close either. But I'm glad that you let me in, Ari. I want to be here for you, even if you hate me."
"Alex, I could never hate you. I've only acted so harshly around you because I genuinely liked you, but was trying to keep you away from me so that I wouldn't get hurt. So I wouldn't get close and fall."
"I won't let that happen, Arianna."
It's a few hours later, pretty late at night, and Alex and I are laying on my bedroom floor laughing at old pictures of me and Jack as little kids. I don't even know how this happened. He was never supposed to get close to me. No one is. But somehow, he did it.
Then it happens. The one picture that should never be seen again. I should have burned it.
"Arianna? Who's in this picture?"
It's my perfect memory. One of very few. It's a picture of me, Rian, my dad, and my mom as well as Jack and his parents at Disney World. We're right outside of the big castle, and we're all smiling. I start to cry, and I can't control it. That's all gone.
"Oh my gosh, Ari. Are you okay?"
"Y-yeah, Alex. That's just not the picture I was expecting to see. As far as I'm concerned, that no longer exists."
He's clearly taken aback by the fierceness of my words. But instead of running, of moving away like I know he should have, he moved closer. Wrapping an arm around me, something I would never let anyone let alone the likes of him do, he started rocking me. Holding me close to him. And....I let it happen. It was amazing to feel loved again.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He whispers softly in my ear.
"I think I do, Alex. I think I do." I say uncertainly.
"You haven't told anyone before, have you?"
"No. But I think I need to."
"Well go ahead sweetheart."
I take a deep breath:
"Jack Barakat was my best friend for years. As you can see now, we've always lived close to each other. Our parents were friends, the whole deal. Then, slowly things started changing. First, my dad left. No one could explain it. No one even tried. It was just me, Rian, my mom, and Jack. But that was even okay. I could survive without my dad. Or so I thought. Things didn't get better though. And that's where the real problems started.
My mom found a new guy, a few years ago. She also got really sick. Lung cancer, stage 4. She passed away in a matter of months from its discovery. Unfortunately, she lasted long enough to marry Martin, my "step-father" , although that's the last time you'll ever hear me refer to him as family.
My mom became too incapacitated to handle me or Rian, let alone realize who Martin really was. He's a lying bastard, and an abusive one at that. He works, and has a lot of money, but nothing you see around here involves it. This is all what my mom left and what Rian and I work for.
Martin's abused me as long as I can remember him. He's never touched Rian though. He's too scared of someone who could match him, but he knows I'm too weak. The verbal stuff is the worst. It's what's caused me to be the mess you see before you.
I've worked really damn hard, Alex. I pushed Jack out of my life because it was too painful to remember a time when I had all I could have asked for. He doesn't even know my mom's dead. I starve myself, and I cut myself, all to be perfect. I have the attitude I need to protect myself. No one gets close, and I don't have problems."
I run out of breath, and look up at Alex whose arms have unknowingly formed a steel cage around me. I feel safe here. Out of nowhere, he's sobbing.
"Arianna, I am so sorry. When I came here I judged you. I assumed you just had everything, and I can't believe I wouldn't even look at you long enough to see all these problems.
You see, I understand a little of what you're going through. My dad left too, and it caused my brother to go over the edge and kill himself. It's why I moved here. My mom's hardly ever around, so I'm pretty much on my own.
I don't like to let people get close either. But I'm glad that you let me in, Ari. I want to be here for you, even if you hate me."
"Alex, I could never hate you. I've only acted so harshly around you because I genuinely liked you, but was trying to keep you away from me so that I wouldn't get hurt. So I wouldn't get close and fall."
"I won't let that happen, Arianna."
Notes
So, this broke my heart to write. I hope you enjoy it, and Newbie.gamble with desire.
she's an amazing writer and an incredible person. I'm thankful for her. Please talk to her and read her writing.
Ah thank you so much! <3 You are amazing.
4/21/13