The Perks Of Being A Wallflower
August 25th, 2001
I am writing to you because he said you would listen. He said that you wouldn’t have laughed when they would throw me in a trash can even though that was the ‘cool’ thing to do. Please don’t try to find out who I am because that would ruin the whole point of this. I mean nothing bad by this. I promise.
This is my life. Tomorrow I am starting my freshman year of high school and I’ve never been more afraid of something in my life. I didn’t end eighth grade year too well. My brother Tom committed suicide last May. They said he shot himself. I remember the day we were told in school clearly. I was sitting in science and they announced that he had passed away and that we would be holding a memorial for him on the following Friday.
News around our schools often travels fast and is usually always right. They said he shot himself, and that one kid lived near us, had even heard the gun shot go off. I don’t really remember what happened after that except that my guidance counselor came to get me. They apologized over and over, saying that they were supposed to come get me before the announcements were made. I didn’t really respond because I guess I was crying too hard. They said that my brother was having problems at home. I began screaming at them, saying that he could have talked to me about it, and that he was my brother and he didn’t have problems at home because he was always smiling. They told me he had a drinking problem.
Eventually my dad came and picked me up. He’s my step dad but he’s been a father to me for a long time now, so I just call him dad. His eyes were really red. When he parked the car, he went around and opened the door for me and picked me up like I was a little kid again, and carried me inside. We cried for a real long time. After that, they stopped crying and closed Tom’s room.
I never really did stop crying.
My mom cries a lot now but only when she watches TV. I think she does it so she has an excuse to cry, like her son dying is not enough. Don’t get me wrong. My mom is a really good person. My dad is an honest man. He’s smart and works a lot. My mother is really pretty. My dad tells her all the time but she doesn’t believe him. This makes me really sad.
For the rest of the school year, my teachers gave me better grades. I think I made them all nervous, honestly.
I’m sorry that this letter has a lot of information in it. I know it’s a lot to read. I will try to write less but more at the same time, if that makes any sense to you. I have to go to sleep now so I’m going to stop writing now. I start high school tomorrow and I’m very afraid to go.
Love always,
Alex
This is my life. Tomorrow I am starting my freshman year of high school and I’ve never been more afraid of something in my life. I didn’t end eighth grade year too well. My brother Tom committed suicide last May. They said he shot himself. I remember the day we were told in school clearly. I was sitting in science and they announced that he had passed away and that we would be holding a memorial for him on the following Friday.
News around our schools often travels fast and is usually always right. They said he shot himself, and that one kid lived near us, had even heard the gun shot go off. I don’t really remember what happened after that except that my guidance counselor came to get me. They apologized over and over, saying that they were supposed to come get me before the announcements were made. I didn’t really respond because I guess I was crying too hard. They said that my brother was having problems at home. I began screaming at them, saying that he could have talked to me about it, and that he was my brother and he didn’t have problems at home because he was always smiling. They told me he had a drinking problem.
Eventually my dad came and picked me up. He’s my step dad but he’s been a father to me for a long time now, so I just call him dad. His eyes were really red. When he parked the car, he went around and opened the door for me and picked me up like I was a little kid again, and carried me inside. We cried for a real long time. After that, they stopped crying and closed Tom’s room.
I never really did stop crying.
My mom cries a lot now but only when she watches TV. I think she does it so she has an excuse to cry, like her son dying is not enough. Don’t get me wrong. My mom is a really good person. My dad is an honest man. He’s smart and works a lot. My mother is really pretty. My dad tells her all the time but she doesn’t believe him. This makes me really sad.
For the rest of the school year, my teachers gave me better grades. I think I made them all nervous, honestly.
I’m sorry that this letter has a lot of information in it. I know it’s a lot to read. I will try to write less but more at the same time, if that makes any sense to you. I have to go to sleep now so I’m going to stop writing now. I start high school tomorrow and I’m very afraid to go.
Love always,
Alex
update soon. c;
12/3/13