Living With The Guilt... (Jalex/TWIST)
Living With The Guilt...
(Alex's POV) *Present Time - 7 months later*
Ever since that one day down by the dock and river I haven't left my house.I couldn't bring myself to attend Jack's funeral knowing I put him there.I loved him I really did. I never wanted to hurt him. I don't know what got into me.I live with the guilt everyday as I spend my time sitting alone in my bedroom letting the guilts and the replay of that day eat my brain alive.No one except for Zack truly knows what happened.Zack said he and I were playing football down there and thats when we discovered his body that was halfway into the river.It hurt me to lie about it.I wanted to be turned in and sentenced to +25 years in prison for what I did to him.It was murder and all I want is to be able to go back in time and save him from me.Make him not love me.He trusted me with everything and I turned on him.A voice inturrupting my thoughts.
"I'm coming for you Alex." It spoke though it was a voice I haven't heard.
I gulped and shook my head thinking it was just an illusion.I was wrong because as I glanced to my right towards my bathroom door I saw him.It looked like Jack but it wasn't the Jack I had known or fallen in love with.I jumped up and crawled backwards towards my wall.My back soon hit it and pure horror on the face of the man I loved.
"Why did you do it Lexy?" He asked as he came closer to me.
"Its just an illusion you're dead I k-killed you." I stammered.
My whole body froze when I saw him turn around.His eyes no longer there just the pitch black sockets that burned through me like a flame.His skin a ghostly white and blood spilling from his mouth.Rotten flesh on his neck and jawline.
"I thought you loved me Alex." He said as he came closer than he had before.
I rubbed my eyes super hard hoping the figure would leave and I felt it touch me.I let out a blood curling scream and thats when I jolted up out of bed to see my mother staring at me with pure terror in her expressions.
"Alexander are you alright?" She asked me.
I cringed as she used Alexander.I hadn't spoken in the same amount of time either.
"You haven't eaten or left this room since-" She stopped and then spoke again after swallowing."Since you and Zack found that boy down by the dock." She said making me cringe once again as the memories of his dead body at my feet.
"I have decided I am taking you to get Therapy sessions for the next few months so you get over this." She said shutting the door behind her as she left the room.
Saying I wasn't excited about Therapy was a huge understatement.I didn't want to be here I wanted to die and let the guilt go but I couldn't without blowing the cover on myself and Zack and I didn't want him to be dragged down with me.My mind wondering off again for the hundreth time that day as I cried myself to sleep wanting to stay asleep forever...
Ever since that one day down by the dock and river I haven't left my house.I couldn't bring myself to attend Jack's funeral knowing I put him there.I loved him I really did. I never wanted to hurt him. I don't know what got into me.I live with the guilt everyday as I spend my time sitting alone in my bedroom letting the guilts and the replay of that day eat my brain alive.No one except for Zack truly knows what happened.Zack said he and I were playing football down there and thats when we discovered his body that was halfway into the river.It hurt me to lie about it.I wanted to be turned in and sentenced to +25 years in prison for what I did to him.It was murder and all I want is to be able to go back in time and save him from me.Make him not love me.He trusted me with everything and I turned on him.A voice inturrupting my thoughts.
"I'm coming for you Alex." It spoke though it was a voice I haven't heard.
I gulped and shook my head thinking it was just an illusion.I was wrong because as I glanced to my right towards my bathroom door I saw him.It looked like Jack but it wasn't the Jack I had known or fallen in love with.I jumped up and crawled backwards towards my wall.My back soon hit it and pure horror on the face of the man I loved.
"Why did you do it Lexy?" He asked as he came closer to me.
"Its just an illusion you're dead I k-killed you." I stammered.
My whole body froze when I saw him turn around.His eyes no longer there just the pitch black sockets that burned through me like a flame.His skin a ghostly white and blood spilling from his mouth.Rotten flesh on his neck and jawline.
"I thought you loved me Alex." He said as he came closer than he had before.
I rubbed my eyes super hard hoping the figure would leave and I felt it touch me.I let out a blood curling scream and thats when I jolted up out of bed to see my mother staring at me with pure terror in her expressions.
"Alexander are you alright?" She asked me.
I cringed as she used Alexander.I hadn't spoken in the same amount of time either.
"You haven't eaten or left this room since-" She stopped and then spoke again after swallowing."Since you and Zack found that boy down by the dock." She said making me cringe once again as the memories of his dead body at my feet.
"I have decided I am taking you to get Therapy sessions for the next few months so you get over this." She said shutting the door behind her as she left the room.
Saying I wasn't excited about Therapy was a huge understatement.I didn't want to be here I wanted to die and let the guilt go but I couldn't without blowing the cover on myself and Zack and I didn't want him to be dragged down with me.My mind wondering off again for the hundreth time that day as I cried myself to sleep wanting to stay asleep forever...
:) thank you so much for reading/commenting!!
9/26/13