The first two weeks of tour passed by surprisingly quickly and smoothly. I fell into an easy routine of waking up, setting up, sound check, hanging out with the guys, doing the show, breaking down everything, hanging out with All Time Low, the crew, and occasionally members of the other bands until bus call, then avoiding conversation so I could have my alone time in my bunk until I fell asleep.

All of the social activity wasn’t quite as much of a nightmare as I thought it would be. The guys were nice, and I was pretty close with Alex, and quickly considering him to be my closest friend; and the members of the other bands were down to earth chill people; even Derek Sanders, who I freaked out a bit when I met him; because let’s be honest, his band’s music is hands down absolutely amazing.

I was also now friends with Tay Jardine. She was the only other female on tour, so we were friends by default; but she was actually a really cool person.

I would still retreat to the bathroom or random places I had found at the venues to be alone and collect my thoughts. I just needed that time so I could just be silent and not have to plaster a smile on my face.

More than once, Alex had found me during those ‘Braedynne escaping the world’ moments, but he would just sit down beside me silently and just be there.

The first few times it happened, I tried to make awkward conversation or come up with an explanation of why I was there, but it became clear pretty quickly that Alex was just there to be there, and that he didn’t care whether or not I talked to him about anything.

It was apparent that he knew that something was going on with me, and that there were reasons why I zoned out all the time, didn’t like anyone touching me suddenly, and constantly wanted to be alone; but he didn’t ask or pry. I could tell by that he wanted me to tell him but wasn’t going to force it out of me. And I appreciated and respected him for that.




It was now the second week of tour, and I was in one of my moods of just wanting to be alone.

Everyone was going out to hit the bars because of the irrationally late bus call. It was around midnight, and the show had wound down, the guys had signed, and the crew and I had packed up; everyone was ready to go burn off some steam.

I, on the other hand, was looking forward to everyone going out so I could be alone on the bus; just me and my thoughts.

Unfortunately, Alex had other plans. I found this out when I was patiently waiting everyone to get
ready and leave, and I was staring into space already in my pajamas (or rather my sweatpants and a band shirt) when Alex plopped down beside me wearing about the same attire as I was.

“You’re going out to the club like that? Damn, the ladies will be all over you,” I stated with a smirk.

“Nah, I’m staying in with you,” He said, an identical smirk on his face.

“How did you know I was staying in?” I asked with a sigh.

“You’re in your pajamas. And I know you wanted to be alone, but I don’t want you to be. So, instead I am forcing my presence upon you,” He said with a sincere smile adorning his face.

“Don’t stay back because of me, Alex. Go, I’ll be fine,” I said with a roll of my eyes.

“Nope,” he said with a firm nod, smile still on his face.

Sighing, I gave up, deciding it was best to ignore him and accept the fact that my alone night wasn’t going to be spent quite as alone as I had wished.

“I know you want your alone time. But I really don’t want you to have to spend your night completely alone; I know how thoughts change when alone; it can be scary, terrifying even. So, no matter what, I’m going to be here in case you ever do want to talk about what’s going on in that head of yours. But until then, I won’t talk to you, I’ll just sit quiet enough to let you know that you are not alone,” He whispered in my ear before jumping up to talk to Jack; leaving me with my jaw practically on the floor.

What. The. Hell.

Those were the only words that were running through my mind at that moment. I was still trying to process everything Alex had said to me when an already tipsy Jack plopped down next to me, carelessly throwing an arm around my shoulder; Jack Daniels bottle in hand.

I jumped at the feeling of his arm, but soon calmed after consciously telling myself that it was only Jack.

“Heya there Braedynne. Why aren’t you dressed?” He asked as his drunken eyes took in my attire.

“I’m staying here tonight, Jack,” I answered, my attention still on what Alex had said.

“Aw, you and Alex are party poopers,” he informed me as Rian came to collect him as everyone was headed off the bus.

As all the All Time Low band and crew members filed off the bus, I was left with the sudden silence and Alex nowhere to be found.

I sighed to myself and tried to convince myself that maybe he had decided to go out after all, and I really was all alone.

That small hope was shattered, however, when I heard Alex call from the back of the bus.

“Brae! Come watch Peter Pan with me! I promise I won’t talk and I’ll let you think!” Alex literally screamed from the back.

I rolled my eyes before pushing myself off of the couch and making my way past the bunk area and toward the back lounge. I found Alex sitting on the couch patting the spot next to him with the original Peter Pan movie playing on the huge TV.

I sat down next to him and hugging my knees to my chest I became engrossed in the movie, thoroughly impressed that Alex wasn’t speaking.

Sneakily turning my head to look at him, I saw his profile mirrored one of a little boy; he was completely mesmerized by the film.

A soft smile overtook my features as exhaustion began to overtake me and my eyelids began to droop.




He was on top of me, and wouldn’t let go. I kept screaming and screaming but my voice seemed so far away.

Slapping me as an attempt to keep me quiet, he just laughed when I whimpered.

Where was everyone? Just minutes ago we were on the pier laughing and drinking with at least ten other people, including my sister.

“Bobbi!” I screamed as I tried to push him off of me, “Bobbi! Help!”

I felt a swift punch to the side of my face and I let out a guttural scream.

“Keep quiet, Braedynne. God, you stupid bitch.” The familiar voice growled in my ear as he, my best friend, ripped my shorts off of my hips.

Whimpering, I had the sudden realization of what was coming.

In the distance, I could hear a shout and a splash, then the collective laughter of the rest of the group I was in.

I should’ve been there. I never should have walked off with him; I knew how he was when he was drunk.

I kept fighting him, even though I was punished with a punch every time I tried.

“Please, please. Stop. I- I’ll do anything, just stop,” I resorted to begging, realizing that my physical strength was nothing compared to him.




“Brae, Braedynne; wake up. It was just a dream,” I was pulled out of the nightmare by Alex’s voice, and when I opened my eyes, his concerned face was right there.

I shot up into a sitting position and tried to calm my heart beat and breathing, but I knew it was no use; the panic attack was already coming.

“You were screaming; it was horrible. You were having a nightmare and you sounded absolutely terrified.”

His voice was fading fast, and I placed my head between my knees to focus on my breathing.

When I could actually focus on what was going on around me I could feel his hand running smooth circles on my back.

Sitting up straight, I turned to look at him, knowing my eyes were wide terrified.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently.

“No,” I responded almost immediately.

“It wasn’t just a dream, was it?”

“No.”

Notes

Here's your update! Thank you so much for all the comments, I appreciate each and everyone of them; keep them coming!

Sorry for any mistakes in this, I literally just wrote this chapter and haven't had the chance to edit it. But it's Monday so here you go! I was supposed to write this this weekend, but I've had literally the worst cold and didn't get out of bed this weekend. It was to the point that getting my laptop was even too much of a hassle. And then I worked today, when I normally don't work Monday's so that kinda threw me off as well.

But I was honestly going to wait and write and post it tomorrow because I have nothing after school, but it was the comments that made me push through and write it tonight. So, keep them coming!

but this chapter shows a little insight into Braedynne's past, what do you all think happened during her nightmare/flashback??

Well, I'm going to go take NyQuil and go to sleep now, this is honestly one of my favorite chapters so far and I hope you all think the same.

And I also hope that any of you planning to go to the Spring Fever Tour got your tickets! I actually skipped school and got presale lol. And I plan on not being sick for this tour, considering I was practically deathly ill and passed out at the bar after for the Rockshow at the End of the World tour.

This has been an insanely long authors not so goodbye until next week!

XOXO
Lilly