Damned if I do ya
ch. 6
*A week later*
Alex's POV
One week. One fucking week since the doctors told me that Chloe was in a coma. These were never the words I imagined I'd ever hear about Chloe. I don't know why but I cried so hard that day. I was too exhausted to go out with Jack so he just came over. I explained to him what happened. I still remembered his response when I was finished explaining.
"Woah that's tough dude. I didn't know Lisa was so bat shit cray cray!" he exclaimed. I nodded my head sadly. I still felt incredibly guilty but there was another feeling there that I couldn't quite place. Jack looked at me intently before his eyes lit up.
"You like her don't ya Lex?" he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
"No way man!" I nudged his shoulders a bit roughly but I couldn't actually hit him. I didn't have the energy. I was too upset. I couldn't help but feel guilty, like this whole thing was my fault. If I had just made sure Lisa wasn't anywhere near me then maybe Chloe would be okay right now.
"Don't do that to yourself Lex, nothing could've stopped Lisa," Jack spoke quietly. I didn't even realize I was talking out loud. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. I felt so exhausted lately. Not only was I worried to death about Chloe I was also consumed with the thought of her and I. Could I really like her without knowing her or was she just, in my own words, a casual fuck? But we never even kissed! How was I supposed to know if I liked her without kissing her?
"If you like her without kissing her then ya like her Lex," Jack said, again making me realize I wasn't talking to myself. I groaned as I made my way to my room. I lay on my bed, picturing Chloe's dark green eyes, her oddly colored hair and her plump pink lips, imagining how they would feel against mine.
I pulled myself out of the memory as I reached for my keys by my bed side. Walking quickly I made my way to my car. I slid in as fast as I could. I pulled out of my driveway a little faster than I normally would. I don't know why I rushed; visiting hours weren't over for another five hours. Guess I just wanted more time with Chloe, don't know what for. She was still deep in a coma. She looked so small in that big bed. It hurt my heart to see her like that and know it was partially my fault.
I shook my head as I got to the hospital. Jack was right. I couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't control Lisa even when we were together, why did I think I could handle her when we were apart? I told the receptionist who I was here to see and she handed me a bright yellow bracelet with Chloe's room number and floor. I went to the elevator and pressed the button with the number three. No one else was here so I was alone. I was sick of being alone. I had been with Lisa for so long but even then I felt lonely. Sure I had my band but something still felt off. I walked into Chloe's room and my heart stopped dead in its tracks.
She was fucking awake.
She smiled at me and cocked her head to the side. I didn't speak, it didn't feel real. Like, it didn't feel like she was actually awake. The doctors weren't sure when she'd wake up but here she was, her big bright eyes staring at me curiously. I was still afraid to speak, thinking if I did it'd make this real and she'd disappear back into her coma somehow. I don't know; it just didn't feel real. Suddenly she broke the silence.
"Hi there," her angelic voice rang through my ears. I don't know why but I cracked the biggest smile in the world and ran over to her. Pulling her into a bone crushing hug I began to cry silently into her shoulder. It was real, she was real. She was really awake and I was beyond happy to see the sparkle in her eye return.
"Oh Chloe!" I cried out. "Oh my god I'm so glad you're okay. I'm sorry. I'm so more than sorry. I didn't mean for you to get dragged into my shit. Fuck Chloe I'm so fucking glad you're okay. Oh my god," I choked out. So many emotions were playing in my head. One of them being confusion. Sure I hadn't known the girl long but I knew her well enough to get a hug in return right? Was she just too hurt? Holy shit was I hugging her too hard?!
I pulled away sheepishly and looked at her flawless features. What came out of her mouth shocked me into the next century. It definitely wasn't something I was ready to hear, especially when I was finally coming to terms with what I felt for her.
"I'm sorry but are you like my boyfriend or something? I don't remember you," she said, her voice laced with confusion.
I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was because I was just so tired of being alone. Maybe it was because deep down I knew I liked this girl more than I should. I don't know what it was about her but something about her drew me in. Her eyes, it was definitely her eyes; they made me curious to find out what her story was, wondering why she looked so reserved, so broken. That's why I said what I said next.
"Yes Chloe I am your boyfriend."
Well, shit.
Alex's POV
One week. One fucking week since the doctors told me that Chloe was in a coma. These were never the words I imagined I'd ever hear about Chloe. I don't know why but I cried so hard that day. I was too exhausted to go out with Jack so he just came over. I explained to him what happened. I still remembered his response when I was finished explaining.
"Woah that's tough dude. I didn't know Lisa was so bat shit cray cray!" he exclaimed. I nodded my head sadly. I still felt incredibly guilty but there was another feeling there that I couldn't quite place. Jack looked at me intently before his eyes lit up.
"You like her don't ya Lex?" he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
"No way man!" I nudged his shoulders a bit roughly but I couldn't actually hit him. I didn't have the energy. I was too upset. I couldn't help but feel guilty, like this whole thing was my fault. If I had just made sure Lisa wasn't anywhere near me then maybe Chloe would be okay right now.
"Don't do that to yourself Lex, nothing could've stopped Lisa," Jack spoke quietly. I didn't even realize I was talking out loud. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. I felt so exhausted lately. Not only was I worried to death about Chloe I was also consumed with the thought of her and I. Could I really like her without knowing her or was she just, in my own words, a casual fuck? But we never even kissed! How was I supposed to know if I liked her without kissing her?
"If you like her without kissing her then ya like her Lex," Jack said, again making me realize I wasn't talking to myself. I groaned as I made my way to my room. I lay on my bed, picturing Chloe's dark green eyes, her oddly colored hair and her plump pink lips, imagining how they would feel against mine.
I pulled myself out of the memory as I reached for my keys by my bed side. Walking quickly I made my way to my car. I slid in as fast as I could. I pulled out of my driveway a little faster than I normally would. I don't know why I rushed; visiting hours weren't over for another five hours. Guess I just wanted more time with Chloe, don't know what for. She was still deep in a coma. She looked so small in that big bed. It hurt my heart to see her like that and know it was partially my fault.
I shook my head as I got to the hospital. Jack was right. I couldn't do that to myself. I couldn't control Lisa even when we were together, why did I think I could handle her when we were apart? I told the receptionist who I was here to see and she handed me a bright yellow bracelet with Chloe's room number and floor. I went to the elevator and pressed the button with the number three. No one else was here so I was alone. I was sick of being alone. I had been with Lisa for so long but even then I felt lonely. Sure I had my band but something still felt off. I walked into Chloe's room and my heart stopped dead in its tracks.
She was fucking awake.
She smiled at me and cocked her head to the side. I didn't speak, it didn't feel real. Like, it didn't feel like she was actually awake. The doctors weren't sure when she'd wake up but here she was, her big bright eyes staring at me curiously. I was still afraid to speak, thinking if I did it'd make this real and she'd disappear back into her coma somehow. I don't know; it just didn't feel real. Suddenly she broke the silence.
"Hi there," her angelic voice rang through my ears. I don't know why but I cracked the biggest smile in the world and ran over to her. Pulling her into a bone crushing hug I began to cry silently into her shoulder. It was real, she was real. She was really awake and I was beyond happy to see the sparkle in her eye return.
"Oh Chloe!" I cried out. "Oh my god I'm so glad you're okay. I'm sorry. I'm so more than sorry. I didn't mean for you to get dragged into my shit. Fuck Chloe I'm so fucking glad you're okay. Oh my god," I choked out. So many emotions were playing in my head. One of them being confusion. Sure I hadn't known the girl long but I knew her well enough to get a hug in return right? Was she just too hurt? Holy shit was I hugging her too hard?!
I pulled away sheepishly and looked at her flawless features. What came out of her mouth shocked me into the next century. It definitely wasn't something I was ready to hear, especially when I was finally coming to terms with what I felt for her.
"I'm sorry but are you like my boyfriend or something? I don't remember you," she said, her voice laced with confusion.
I don't know what made me do it. Maybe it was because I was just so tired of being alone. Maybe it was because deep down I knew I liked this girl more than I should. I don't know what it was about her but something about her drew me in. Her eyes, it was definitely her eyes; they made me curious to find out what her story was, wondering why she looked so reserved, so broken. That's why I said what I said next.
"Yes Chloe I am your boyfriend."
Well, shit.
Notes
Guys I wasn't gonna update today, but I had a few hours after work to write so BOOM here ya go! Gotta go work on my PTV stories now. Check those out here!I love you guys so much C: please don't be a silent reader! I promise I don't bite...hard ;3 lol
<3
Awe thank you! I appreciate that<3
10/23/13