Whatever you want
What would happen?
I woke up in my bed. I don't remember walking up here so I must have been carried. I stood up from my bed. I fell to the floor from the lack of effort my legs used. The two boys ran into my room. "Are you alright?" They asked. "Guys...I'm fine. And your supposed to be at school." "Yeah so?" Jack said. I sat up on the floor. "So. Go!" I said. "No way." Alex replied back. "Guys you're not staying now go to school." I demanded. "No." Jack said back. I stood up using my dresser to hold me up. My stomach really hurt.
"I know you're worried what I might do, but I'm fine. I'm going to school too." They both looked at each other and that's when I realized they were just in boxers. Then I looked at myself and I was just in my underwear and a cami. "What happened to my shorts?" I asked. Alex pointed to Jack. "They looked constricting." He said back. I gave Alex a look and he smacked his chest for me. "Ow." "Well, You almost made me naked. Now go home and then to school." I said.
They both scoffed and left my room. I took off my clothes and put on some jeans and a t shirt. I slipped on my red converse and changed my tongue ring and my ear rings. I kept my belly ring in cause it was my favorite. When I first got my belly pierced Zack got me it cause it had a camera on it. I love it. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I made my way down stairs. "Come on! Can you go any slower?!" I yelled up stairs. "We're coming!" Alex yelled back. I let them leave first. I walked over to my car and got in the front seat.
"So no hugs?" Jack asked. "Nope. I've decided emotions make me weak and I'm gonna just become an emotionless blob. Text me." I said and pulled out of my drive way. This was my new goal with my life. To just deal with my problem all by myself. In whatever way made sense. I said text me but I did that so they wouldn't come back later. I just wanna be alone. I lost my best friend and the closet people I have to parents. I just wanna be alone.
I pulled up to school and parked. I walked through the doors signing in and walking into my first period. I was late. I sat down and Casey and Briana were already talking about me. I ignored it. "So you decided to come to school today...even after the beating you got yesterday?" Casey asked. "I can't just not come to school." I said back while rolling my eyes. "Why were you hanging out with Zack? Don't you realize your a freak and will only ruin everything for him. You're not worth anything....Worthless." Casey continued. I just sunk down in my seat more. "Can I ask why you pick on me?"
They were thrown off by this question. "Cause... You deserve it." "Yeah but why Casey? Why me?" "Cause your ugly, wears strange clothes, and cuts yourself." She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I was visiting my grandpa in the hospital...I know you were there...and why." I gulped hard. I just sunk more in my seat. I pressed my wrists to my body so no one could see them. I was now extremely uncomfortable.
I walked down the hall way after school. I went to my locker it was friday so. I opened it. and grabbed my stuff. I turned only to be pushed against the lockers. "Leaving with out saying good bye, after you never said hello this morning...not a good idea." Keith said getting close to my face. I pushed him and he took my wrists in his hands. He held them with one hand above my head against the locker. He repeatedly punched my stomach. I lost count after 16. They got harder and harder each time.
"Stop it!" I turned my face to see Zack standing there. "Get out of here, Merrick." Keith said to him. "I said stop." He then punched me in the face and let go of me I fell to the ground. He walked over to Zack. He passed him and left the building. Zack walked over to me. By now I was coughing up blood. "Paige...are you alright?" I stood up using the lockers to help me. "Y-Yeah I'll be fine. You need to get out of here and away from me. I don't want anything to happen to you." He took my hands in his. "Nothing is gonna happen to me." I pulled my hands out of his.
"Your making this harder than it has to be." I said tears streaming down my face. So much for emotionless. I started walking down the hallway. "Paige... Paige!" Zack yelled. I never stopped. I walked out to my car. Then Keith came out of no where. "I know about the hospital. Suicidal freak!" He yelled at me. I flinched at the words. He shoved me up against my car. "Just please stop." I begged. "I'm tired of us always getting interrupted." He made a fist and punched me in the head. Multiple times he did this. He punched my stomach some more. I coughed and out came blood. He must have gotten scarred of this and ran off.
Cause all the sudden nothing was holding me up and I collapsed on the floor next to my car. I slammed my head pretty hard on the ground. I started to shake. I was cold. I felt the blood dribble down my face. I blinked. My blinks were getting longer. I heard something. I heard someone. Nest thing I knew someone was holding me to their chest. "Paige. Can you hear me?" They asked. I tried to blink to focus my vision. I couldn't. I felt limp. "Paige? I know your gonna be fine. You have to be..." I missed the last part of whoever was saying. I blacked out.
I was somewhere all white. I was hooked up to all sorts of machines. I looked over to see no one. I was alone. I didn't remember what happened or why I was here. I tried to move but it hurt to much. "mother fucker cunt!" I yelled out. My voice sounded hoarse. I reached up and touched my head. It all started to come back to me. Keith beat me up...Casey called me worthless. I pushed the heel of my hands into my eyes. "Ahhh!" I yelled. I deserve everything that has happened to me. I am worthless, ugly and a cutter. My wrists also tell me I'm weak, selfish, and hopeless. I sat up.
I ripped out all the IV and other things hooked up to me. A nurse and a doctor ran in. "Please sit back, Mrs.Peralta." The woman said. "I don't wan to. I just wanna go home. You can't keep me here." I said tears running down my face. "Please just calm down." She said again. "No! I wanna go home...Please." I begged. She nodded and walked out of the room leaving me with the doctor. "Mrs. Peralta...You've been in here twice this week. I know for different reasons but-" "Sir all due respect I'm not going to therapy. Thank you. I would like to go home now." I said. He looked down but eventually nodded and left the room.
I got up and took the clothes I came here in out of the chair and put them on slowly. I had huge bruises on my stomach, more than I've ever seen and dark than I've ever seen. I walked into the bathroom. I looked horrible. I had a bandage tapped to my head where i must have hit the pavement. I sighed and left the bathroom. Zack was sitting on the bed. "I'm glad your awake." He said. He never looked up from his hands. I could tell he was crying. I just walked over and grabbed my phone and wallet off the table. I didn't say anything.
"They called me when you woke up...I'm here to give you a ride." I nodded. We made our way out to his mom's car. I got in leaning my head back it hurt so bad. We drove in silence, it wasn't awkward or comfortable. We pulled up to my house and I got out. Zack followed me. I opened the door and stepped in. I walked into the kitchen pulling out a bottle of water and took some asprin. "Paige..." I looked up at him, he looked almost as bad as I did. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" "Zack...I'm trying to prot-" "Protect me Paige? Really?! The distance is killing us both. Your my best friend, and I don't wanna loose you." He stepped closer pulling my hands into his own. "Zack...They told me not to hang out with you. If something were to happen to you...I wouldn't know what to do." I fell into his body, laying my head on his shoulder, my head crooked into his neck.
He brought me into a hug. "Paige.... When something happens to you I do nothing other than blame myself." I looked into his eyes. We both were crying. "I blame myself because I could stop it but I never get there in time. I know when I'm with you, you'll be safe." I started to cry really hard. He hugged me tighter. "I don't wanna loose you anymore Zack. Your the only person who cares about me. Your the reason I wake up everyday. I do it to be here for you." He picked me up and brought me upstairs to my bedroom.
He set me up on the bed. I slipped off my shoes and he pulled off my jeans and left me in my t shirt and underwear. He pulled off his shirt and pants. He crawled under the covers with me. I snuggled into him facing him. I drew circles on his chest with my fingers. Our legs were tangled together. We fell asleep like this in each others arms.
"I know you're worried what I might do, but I'm fine. I'm going to school too." They both looked at each other and that's when I realized they were just in boxers. Then I looked at myself and I was just in my underwear and a cami. "What happened to my shorts?" I asked. Alex pointed to Jack. "They looked constricting." He said back. I gave Alex a look and he smacked his chest for me. "Ow." "Well, You almost made me naked. Now go home and then to school." I said.
They both scoffed and left my room. I took off my clothes and put on some jeans and a t shirt. I slipped on my red converse and changed my tongue ring and my ear rings. I kept my belly ring in cause it was my favorite. When I first got my belly pierced Zack got me it cause it had a camera on it. I love it. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I made my way down stairs. "Come on! Can you go any slower?!" I yelled up stairs. "We're coming!" Alex yelled back. I let them leave first. I walked over to my car and got in the front seat.
"So no hugs?" Jack asked. "Nope. I've decided emotions make me weak and I'm gonna just become an emotionless blob. Text me." I said and pulled out of my drive way. This was my new goal with my life. To just deal with my problem all by myself. In whatever way made sense. I said text me but I did that so they wouldn't come back later. I just wanna be alone. I lost my best friend and the closet people I have to parents. I just wanna be alone.
I pulled up to school and parked. I walked through the doors signing in and walking into my first period. I was late. I sat down and Casey and Briana were already talking about me. I ignored it. "So you decided to come to school today...even after the beating you got yesterday?" Casey asked. "I can't just not come to school." I said back while rolling my eyes. "Why were you hanging out with Zack? Don't you realize your a freak and will only ruin everything for him. You're not worth anything....Worthless." Casey continued. I just sunk down in my seat more. "Can I ask why you pick on me?"
They were thrown off by this question. "Cause... You deserve it." "Yeah but why Casey? Why me?" "Cause your ugly, wears strange clothes, and cuts yourself." She leaned over and whispered in my ear. "I was visiting my grandpa in the hospital...I know you were there...and why." I gulped hard. I just sunk more in my seat. I pressed my wrists to my body so no one could see them. I was now extremely uncomfortable.
I walked down the hall way after school. I went to my locker it was friday so. I opened it. and grabbed my stuff. I turned only to be pushed against the lockers. "Leaving with out saying good bye, after you never said hello this morning...not a good idea." Keith said getting close to my face. I pushed him and he took my wrists in his hands. He held them with one hand above my head against the locker. He repeatedly punched my stomach. I lost count after 16. They got harder and harder each time.
"Stop it!" I turned my face to see Zack standing there. "Get out of here, Merrick." Keith said to him. "I said stop." He then punched me in the face and let go of me I fell to the ground. He walked over to Zack. He passed him and left the building. Zack walked over to me. By now I was coughing up blood. "Paige...are you alright?" I stood up using the lockers to help me. "Y-Yeah I'll be fine. You need to get out of here and away from me. I don't want anything to happen to you." He took my hands in his. "Nothing is gonna happen to me." I pulled my hands out of his.
"Your making this harder than it has to be." I said tears streaming down my face. So much for emotionless. I started walking down the hallway. "Paige... Paige!" Zack yelled. I never stopped. I walked out to my car. Then Keith came out of no where. "I know about the hospital. Suicidal freak!" He yelled at me. I flinched at the words. He shoved me up against my car. "Just please stop." I begged. "I'm tired of us always getting interrupted." He made a fist and punched me in the head. Multiple times he did this. He punched my stomach some more. I coughed and out came blood. He must have gotten scarred of this and ran off.
Cause all the sudden nothing was holding me up and I collapsed on the floor next to my car. I slammed my head pretty hard on the ground. I started to shake. I was cold. I felt the blood dribble down my face. I blinked. My blinks were getting longer. I heard something. I heard someone. Nest thing I knew someone was holding me to their chest. "Paige. Can you hear me?" They asked. I tried to blink to focus my vision. I couldn't. I felt limp. "Paige? I know your gonna be fine. You have to be..." I missed the last part of whoever was saying. I blacked out.
I was somewhere all white. I was hooked up to all sorts of machines. I looked over to see no one. I was alone. I didn't remember what happened or why I was here. I tried to move but it hurt to much. "mother fucker cunt!" I yelled out. My voice sounded hoarse. I reached up and touched my head. It all started to come back to me. Keith beat me up...Casey called me worthless. I pushed the heel of my hands into my eyes. "Ahhh!" I yelled. I deserve everything that has happened to me. I am worthless, ugly and a cutter. My wrists also tell me I'm weak, selfish, and hopeless. I sat up.
I ripped out all the IV and other things hooked up to me. A nurse and a doctor ran in. "Please sit back, Mrs.Peralta." The woman said. "I don't wan to. I just wanna go home. You can't keep me here." I said tears running down my face. "Please just calm down." She said again. "No! I wanna go home...Please." I begged. She nodded and walked out of the room leaving me with the doctor. "Mrs. Peralta...You've been in here twice this week. I know for different reasons but-" "Sir all due respect I'm not going to therapy. Thank you. I would like to go home now." I said. He looked down but eventually nodded and left the room.
I got up and took the clothes I came here in out of the chair and put them on slowly. I had huge bruises on my stomach, more than I've ever seen and dark than I've ever seen. I walked into the bathroom. I looked horrible. I had a bandage tapped to my head where i must have hit the pavement. I sighed and left the bathroom. Zack was sitting on the bed. "I'm glad your awake." He said. He never looked up from his hands. I could tell he was crying. I just walked over and grabbed my phone and wallet off the table. I didn't say anything.
"They called me when you woke up...I'm here to give you a ride." I nodded. We made our way out to his mom's car. I got in leaning my head back it hurt so bad. We drove in silence, it wasn't awkward or comfortable. We pulled up to my house and I got out. Zack followed me. I opened the door and stepped in. I walked into the kitchen pulling out a bottle of water and took some asprin. "Paige..." I looked up at him, he looked almost as bad as I did. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" "Zack...I'm trying to prot-" "Protect me Paige? Really?! The distance is killing us both. Your my best friend, and I don't wanna loose you." He stepped closer pulling my hands into his own. "Zack...They told me not to hang out with you. If something were to happen to you...I wouldn't know what to do." I fell into his body, laying my head on his shoulder, my head crooked into his neck.
He brought me into a hug. "Paige.... When something happens to you I do nothing other than blame myself." I looked into his eyes. We both were crying. "I blame myself because I could stop it but I never get there in time. I know when I'm with you, you'll be safe." I started to cry really hard. He hugged me tighter. "I don't wanna loose you anymore Zack. Your the only person who cares about me. Your the reason I wake up everyday. I do it to be here for you." He picked me up and brought me upstairs to my bedroom.
He set me up on the bed. I slipped off my shoes and he pulled off my jeans and left me in my t shirt and underwear. He pulled off his shirt and pants. He crawled under the covers with me. I snuggled into him facing him. I drew circles on his chest with my fingers. Our legs were tangled together. We fell asleep like this in each others arms.
Notes
Comment Please! Sorry it's been a few day since I've updated...working on senior project for school...Also my grandparents were here all week. It's been hectic. Loves :POutfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=95940265
9/1/13