X-Kid
Chapter 10: Therapy
I tossed and turned in my bed, thinking about everything that had happened over the course of the evening, and I couldn’t sleep. I tried watching TV, reading, and even delving into my AP history homework, but none of it worked. Nothing could settle the thoughts buzzing in my head, or the loneliness I felt.
I checked around the house, but no one else was awake. I really was alone. I paced the living room for a bit before going back to my room and picking up my phone. Luna was probably asleep, or at least talking to Alex on the phone. Rian and Zack were probably sleeping too, along with Emmett. Jack, on the other hand, was most likely still up, playing video games. I took a deep breath before selecting his contact.
“Nora? Why are you up so late?” He asked.
“I couldn’t sleep. What are you up to?” I wondered.
“I was just practicing some song on my guitar. Is there something wrong?” he questioned.
I paused. “Kinda. I guess. I’m just kinda lonely too since no one else is up.”
“I can come over,” he suggested.
“Jack, it’s one in the morning. I doubt your mom is going to let you come over here,” I commented.
“Then she doesn’t have to know,” He replied, his smile sounding in his voice. “I’ll be there in 15, and we’ll go somewhere. You can even choose.”
“Jack-” I began.
“See you soon,” he cut in, abruptly hanging up. I sighed and changed from my pajamas back into my day clothes, grabbing a jacket and tiptoeing out the front door of the house. I sat on the porch, religiously glancing at the time on my phone until a tall lanky boy wearing sweatpants and a black Baltimore Ravens sweatshirt approached me.
“Hey,” I said. “You really didn’t have to walk all the way over here.”
“Of course I did. You’re one of my best friends, and I do anything for you to be happy,” he assured. “Now, where do you want to go?”
I stood up from my place on the porch. “I was thinking that we could go to that park near Thames and South Broadway. It’s not too far from here.”
“Well, then let’s go,” he grinned.
We talked about nothing in particular as we strolled to the park, street lights illuminating the sidewalk under our feet. We reached the park and trotted up the large hill in the center, gazing up at the stars a bit before either of us spoke.
“So, what’s ruining your sleep?” Jack asked, laying down.
I hugged my knees to my chest. “I just have a lot on my mind is all.”
“We’re here, so you might as well tell me it all,” he mentioned.
“It’s not your job. I have a therapist for that,” I replied.
“You go to therapy? Why?” he wondered.
“I have generalized anxiety. I take medication for it, but that’s not always enough,” I explained.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” he questioned.
I shrugged. “It never came up I guess.”
He paused. “So what happened with you and Kasey earlier?”
“It’s not a big deal. That wasn’t what upset me the most anyway,” I replied, only lying a little bit.
“It was Drake, wasn’t it?” he said.
I nodded. “I just can’t believe him. He doesn’t think I should hang out with Emmett, which is dumb. But he also told me that Emmett would never go for me, and that’s probably true. I mean, I obviously wasn’t good enough for Drake. Why would Emmett be any different?”
“Do you really believe that?” he asked.
I didn’t dare speak, because I knew my voice would come out choked. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I really did believe it. The thought had been looming in the back of my head the whole night, but it had taken me until now to really think it. My hand went to cover my mouth, hoping my sobs wouldn’t escape.
“Nora, look at me,” Jack said, sitting up and scooting closer to me, but I just shook my head. “Aw, you’re crying. Come here.”
He wrapped his skinny arms around me in a tight hug. I cried tears into his chest, sobbing quietly as he tried to console me. “Why am I never good enough, Jack?” I asked in a shaky breath.
“Shut up,” he replied sternly. “Don’t you dare tell me that you aren’t good enough, because you are. Emmett and Drake are just too fucking stupid to realize it. I guarantee you Luna, Alex, Rian, and Zack think you’re good enough. Even if they didn’t, I know you are. I mean, you’re one of the best people I know. It makes me so sad that you don’t see how awesome you are.”
I wiped my tears away with the back of my head, but snuggled further into his embrace. “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course I do. I love you. Well, you know, like a sister and all that,” he said.
I grinned, sniffling a little. “I love you too, Jack. Like a brother.” My own words didn’t seem to sound convincing to me.
He gave me one last squeeze before releasing me from his grasp and lying back down against the grass. I joined him, placing my hands behind my head. I heard him sigh before he spoke again. “What else should I know about you?”
“What do you want to know?” I wondered.
“Everything, I guess,” he mentioned.
“Are you sure? I’m kinda screwed up,” I warned.
He chuckled in response. “Do you really think I care if you are?”
Cautiously, I began telling Jack about my life so far in a brief summary. I told him about how happy I was when my nephews and my niece were born, how awful I felt when my uncle died, and everything else that had happened. I talked until my story was told, and my throat was dry.
“So, yeah,” I croaked. “Regret asking to learn more about me yet?”
“No, not at all,” he responded. “I just don’t get it. How can you act so happy all the time when you’ve had so many bad things happen to you.”
“You learn to move on. Good friends with awesome senses of humor help too,” I grinned.
A yawned escaped from his lips. “Are you tired yet?”
I laughed. “Yeah. We should probably get home anyway.”
We stood up, shuffling down the hill and heading in the direction. I had no idea why I had poured my heart and soul out to this boy, but it felt...right to me. Like it was something should’ve done a long time ago. I hugged him good night before sneaking inside of my house and heading up to my room, my night with Jack making me smile uncontrollably.
I checked around the house, but no one else was awake. I really was alone. I paced the living room for a bit before going back to my room and picking up my phone. Luna was probably asleep, or at least talking to Alex on the phone. Rian and Zack were probably sleeping too, along with Emmett. Jack, on the other hand, was most likely still up, playing video games. I took a deep breath before selecting his contact.
“Nora? Why are you up so late?” He asked.
“I couldn’t sleep. What are you up to?” I wondered.
“I was just practicing some song on my guitar. Is there something wrong?” he questioned.
I paused. “Kinda. I guess. I’m just kinda lonely too since no one else is up.”
“I can come over,” he suggested.
“Jack, it’s one in the morning. I doubt your mom is going to let you come over here,” I commented.
“Then she doesn’t have to know,” He replied, his smile sounding in his voice. “I’ll be there in 15, and we’ll go somewhere. You can even choose.”
“Jack-” I began.
“See you soon,” he cut in, abruptly hanging up. I sighed and changed from my pajamas back into my day clothes, grabbing a jacket and tiptoeing out the front door of the house. I sat on the porch, religiously glancing at the time on my phone until a tall lanky boy wearing sweatpants and a black Baltimore Ravens sweatshirt approached me.
“Hey,” I said. “You really didn’t have to walk all the way over here.”
“Of course I did. You’re one of my best friends, and I do anything for you to be happy,” he assured. “Now, where do you want to go?”
I stood up from my place on the porch. “I was thinking that we could go to that park near Thames and South Broadway. It’s not too far from here.”
“Well, then let’s go,” he grinned.
We talked about nothing in particular as we strolled to the park, street lights illuminating the sidewalk under our feet. We reached the park and trotted up the large hill in the center, gazing up at the stars a bit before either of us spoke.
“So, what’s ruining your sleep?” Jack asked, laying down.
I hugged my knees to my chest. “I just have a lot on my mind is all.”
“We’re here, so you might as well tell me it all,” he mentioned.
“It’s not your job. I have a therapist for that,” I replied.
“You go to therapy? Why?” he wondered.
“I have generalized anxiety. I take medication for it, but that’s not always enough,” I explained.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” he questioned.
I shrugged. “It never came up I guess.”
He paused. “So what happened with you and Kasey earlier?”
“It’s not a big deal. That wasn’t what upset me the most anyway,” I replied, only lying a little bit.
“It was Drake, wasn’t it?” he said.
I nodded. “I just can’t believe him. He doesn’t think I should hang out with Emmett, which is dumb. But he also told me that Emmett would never go for me, and that’s probably true. I mean, I obviously wasn’t good enough for Drake. Why would Emmett be any different?”
“Do you really believe that?” he asked.
I didn’t dare speak, because I knew my voice would come out choked. Tears welled up in my eyes as I realized that I really did believe it. The thought had been looming in the back of my head the whole night, but it had taken me until now to really think it. My hand went to cover my mouth, hoping my sobs wouldn’t escape.
“Nora, look at me,” Jack said, sitting up and scooting closer to me, but I just shook my head. “Aw, you’re crying. Come here.”
He wrapped his skinny arms around me in a tight hug. I cried tears into his chest, sobbing quietly as he tried to console me. “Why am I never good enough, Jack?” I asked in a shaky breath.
“Shut up,” he replied sternly. “Don’t you dare tell me that you aren’t good enough, because you are. Emmett and Drake are just too fucking stupid to realize it. I guarantee you Luna, Alex, Rian, and Zack think you’re good enough. Even if they didn’t, I know you are. I mean, you’re one of the best people I know. It makes me so sad that you don’t see how awesome you are.”
I wiped my tears away with the back of my head, but snuggled further into his embrace. “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course I do. I love you. Well, you know, like a sister and all that,” he said.
I grinned, sniffling a little. “I love you too, Jack. Like a brother.” My own words didn’t seem to sound convincing to me.
He gave me one last squeeze before releasing me from his grasp and lying back down against the grass. I joined him, placing my hands behind my head. I heard him sigh before he spoke again. “What else should I know about you?”
“What do you want to know?” I wondered.
“Everything, I guess,” he mentioned.
“Are you sure? I’m kinda screwed up,” I warned.
He chuckled in response. “Do you really think I care if you are?”
Cautiously, I began telling Jack about my life so far in a brief summary. I told him about how happy I was when my nephews and my niece were born, how awful I felt when my uncle died, and everything else that had happened. I talked until my story was told, and my throat was dry.
“So, yeah,” I croaked. “Regret asking to learn more about me yet?”
“No, not at all,” he responded. “I just don’t get it. How can you act so happy all the time when you’ve had so many bad things happen to you.”
“You learn to move on. Good friends with awesome senses of humor help too,” I grinned.
A yawned escaped from his lips. “Are you tired yet?”
I laughed. “Yeah. We should probably get home anyway.”
We stood up, shuffling down the hill and heading in the direction. I had no idea why I had poured my heart and soul out to this boy, but it felt...right to me. Like it was something should’ve done a long time ago. I hugged him good night before sneaking inside of my house and heading up to my room, my night with Jack making me smile uncontrollably.
Aw :)
1/9/14