Lean On Me.
Twenty-One.
Alex
When I opened my eyes again, my head was pounding and my mouth was seriously dry. More importantly, the space beside me in the bed was empty and missing my boyfriend. I groaned as I rolled flat onto my back feeling like hell. I really regretted drinking as much as I had.
“You’re awake.” I heard a familiar voice announce and I lifted my head a little and saw Jack walking in. “How do you feel?”
“Terrible,” I replied, making grabby hands at him, motioning him to come closer to me so that I could cuddle with him. “Is Bella still asleep?”
“Nope,” Jack replied as he rubbed my back. “I felt that we needed a day to ourselves. Your exams start on Monday and I want to spend time with you so I called my Mom and she was only more than happy to take Belles for the day. Now that I have you all to myself; do you want breakfast?”
The thought of breakfast seemed like both a great idea and a bad idea at the same time. The prospect of having Jack’s pancakes overruled everything.
“You’re the best. Breakfast sounds good. Can we have pancakes?” I asked hopefully. “My mouth tastes horrible. Did I get sick or something?”
“Yeah, you did. I wasn’t expecting you to get sick that early but you did at about five-ish. You were still really drunk at that stage, so don’t worry if you don’t remember it.”
Jack was quick to oblige, placing a simple kiss on my cheek before pulling me into a sitting position. I was feeling terrible and if I’m honest, I really couldn’t remember much of what had happened the night before. I know that I had drunk way too much and I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself ten times over in front of Jack. My head was still a little fuzzy and I hoped that food would help that. All of last night was just a huge space in my head. I couldn’t remember a thing.
* * * *
“I think that we need to talk, Jack,” I announced when we were sat in the kitchen eating breakfast. “I can’t remember what I said to you last night but I know you probably deserve an apology after it.”
“Talking is probably a good idea, Babe. First, let’s eat. You must be starving. We have all day to talk and I think that it would be good for you.”
Jack was right, I was really hungry. He poured some coffee for me and I began eating my pancakes as if I hadn’t eaten in years. It was a good thing that he’d made way too many. I knew there was a lot we needed to talk about. I’d kept a lot from Jack. My Dad was getting sicker by the day and I hadn’t said anything about it to Jack because to be honest, he had enough to be dealing with without all of my worries on top of it. I don’t know if that was a smart idea but it seemed like a good one at the time.
My head started to clear a little thanks to a combination of food, coffee and some tablets for my headache. I was so lucky that Jack was here to look after me. I’m hopeless when I’m sick. I can’t do anything for myself. Once we had cleaned up, Jack and I went to the living room.
“Lex, I’m not sure just how much you remember about last night, but when you were drunk, you told me something about your Dad. I don’t want to pressure you into talking but I want you to know that when you are ready to talk, I’m here for you. Last night, you seemed pretty upset by the whole thing and you can blame it on the alcohol if you want but I really believe in the saying that drunken words are sober thoughts.”
From what Jack was saying, I guess that I had told him about my Dad. I suppose now was as good a time as any to tell him about everything.
“J, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier. I didn’t know how to and I thought that you had enough to be dealing with. Bella’s enough for you to handle without you having to put up with me too.”
Jack silenced me by placing a kiss on my lips.
“Never think that you aren’t worth my attention. I love you and I’ll always have time to listen to you, no matter what.”
“I’m really worried. My Dad has cancer Jack. There’s no hope anymore. I used to live in hope that the next round of treatment would work but that didn’t get me anywhere. There won’t be any more treatment. It has gotten too much for his body to take. He’s not getting better and I can’t do anything about it. I’m more than worried actually; I’m scared. I don’t know how long he has left. Whether the next time I leave him is going to be my last. I hate that I was so bratty after my Mom died and that I went off the rails. I don’t want him to worry about that happening after him. What do I do? How do I act? I’ve already lost one parent. What did you do when your Dad was sick and you knew he wasn’t going to get better?”
Jack took a few minutes to comfort me, trying to stop my tears before answering.
“I did the only thing I could, Alex. It’s the only thing you can do too; act normal. It’s hard as hell to do but it’s essential for not only your well-being but your Dad’s too. It’s going to be hard but it’ll help you accept the fact that he’s dying. Do you want me to drop you home and you can spend some time with him?”
“There’s no use, he knew that I’d try and come home to him so he’s gone to visit his sister. He told me that I had to try and enjoy my last weekend before my exam starts.”
“We can do that if you want,” Jack suggested, pulling me close. “Watch a movie, chill out for the day.”
* * * *
“I’ve got an idea,” Jack announced suddenly, making me jump as the end credits of the film rolled. “C’mon, follow me.”
Jack pulled me up into a standing position and began dragging me towards the spare room that he used as a music room. I frowned at him because he’d pulled me out of my comfortable spot where I’d been curled against his side for the whole film.
“What are we doing?” I asked. “What’s this idea?”
“You’ll see, Babe,” Jack replied, grinning at me. “I’ve wanted to try this out for a while and now it seems like the perfect time.”
Jack seated me on the stool before taking a seat at the piano. His fingers ghosted over the keys before he started to play the opening chords to a song I recognised as the new Katy Perry song. It was a rare occasion for Jack to sing for me. I was the one who normally had to sing to him. So I sat back and enjoyed it, trying not to laugh at Jack’s version of the song.
“You think I’m pretty when I have my glasses on,
You think I’m funny when I tell the punch line wrong.
I knew you got me when you let your walls come down…”
When I opened my eyes again, my head was pounding and my mouth was seriously dry. More importantly, the space beside me in the bed was empty and missing my boyfriend. I groaned as I rolled flat onto my back feeling like hell. I really regretted drinking as much as I had.
“You’re awake.” I heard a familiar voice announce and I lifted my head a little and saw Jack walking in. “How do you feel?”
“Terrible,” I replied, making grabby hands at him, motioning him to come closer to me so that I could cuddle with him. “Is Bella still asleep?”
“Nope,” Jack replied as he rubbed my back. “I felt that we needed a day to ourselves. Your exams start on Monday and I want to spend time with you so I called my Mom and she was only more than happy to take Belles for the day. Now that I have you all to myself; do you want breakfast?”
The thought of breakfast seemed like both a great idea and a bad idea at the same time. The prospect of having Jack’s pancakes overruled everything.
“You’re the best. Breakfast sounds good. Can we have pancakes?” I asked hopefully. “My mouth tastes horrible. Did I get sick or something?”
“Yeah, you did. I wasn’t expecting you to get sick that early but you did at about five-ish. You were still really drunk at that stage, so don’t worry if you don’t remember it.”
Jack was quick to oblige, placing a simple kiss on my cheek before pulling me into a sitting position. I was feeling terrible and if I’m honest, I really couldn’t remember much of what had happened the night before. I know that I had drunk way too much and I’m pretty sure I embarrassed myself ten times over in front of Jack. My head was still a little fuzzy and I hoped that food would help that. All of last night was just a huge space in my head. I couldn’t remember a thing.
* * * *
“I think that we need to talk, Jack,” I announced when we were sat in the kitchen eating breakfast. “I can’t remember what I said to you last night but I know you probably deserve an apology after it.”
“Talking is probably a good idea, Babe. First, let’s eat. You must be starving. We have all day to talk and I think that it would be good for you.”
Jack was right, I was really hungry. He poured some coffee for me and I began eating my pancakes as if I hadn’t eaten in years. It was a good thing that he’d made way too many. I knew there was a lot we needed to talk about. I’d kept a lot from Jack. My Dad was getting sicker by the day and I hadn’t said anything about it to Jack because to be honest, he had enough to be dealing with without all of my worries on top of it. I don’t know if that was a smart idea but it seemed like a good one at the time.
My head started to clear a little thanks to a combination of food, coffee and some tablets for my headache. I was so lucky that Jack was here to look after me. I’m hopeless when I’m sick. I can’t do anything for myself. Once we had cleaned up, Jack and I went to the living room.
“Lex, I’m not sure just how much you remember about last night, but when you were drunk, you told me something about your Dad. I don’t want to pressure you into talking but I want you to know that when you are ready to talk, I’m here for you. Last night, you seemed pretty upset by the whole thing and you can blame it on the alcohol if you want but I really believe in the saying that drunken words are sober thoughts.”
From what Jack was saying, I guess that I had told him about my Dad. I suppose now was as good a time as any to tell him about everything.
“J, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier. I didn’t know how to and I thought that you had enough to be dealing with. Bella’s enough for you to handle without you having to put up with me too.”
Jack silenced me by placing a kiss on my lips.
“Never think that you aren’t worth my attention. I love you and I’ll always have time to listen to you, no matter what.”
“I’m really worried. My Dad has cancer Jack. There’s no hope anymore. I used to live in hope that the next round of treatment would work but that didn’t get me anywhere. There won’t be any more treatment. It has gotten too much for his body to take. He’s not getting better and I can’t do anything about it. I’m more than worried actually; I’m scared. I don’t know how long he has left. Whether the next time I leave him is going to be my last. I hate that I was so bratty after my Mom died and that I went off the rails. I don’t want him to worry about that happening after him. What do I do? How do I act? I’ve already lost one parent. What did you do when your Dad was sick and you knew he wasn’t going to get better?”
Jack took a few minutes to comfort me, trying to stop my tears before answering.
“I did the only thing I could, Alex. It’s the only thing you can do too; act normal. It’s hard as hell to do but it’s essential for not only your well-being but your Dad’s too. It’s going to be hard but it’ll help you accept the fact that he’s dying. Do you want me to drop you home and you can spend some time with him?”
“There’s no use, he knew that I’d try and come home to him so he’s gone to visit his sister. He told me that I had to try and enjoy my last weekend before my exam starts.”
“We can do that if you want,” Jack suggested, pulling me close. “Watch a movie, chill out for the day.”
* * * *
“I’ve got an idea,” Jack announced suddenly, making me jump as the end credits of the film rolled. “C’mon, follow me.”
Jack pulled me up into a standing position and began dragging me towards the spare room that he used as a music room. I frowned at him because he’d pulled me out of my comfortable spot where I’d been curled against his side for the whole film.
“What are we doing?” I asked. “What’s this idea?”
“You’ll see, Babe,” Jack replied, grinning at me. “I’ve wanted to try this out for a while and now it seems like the perfect time.”
Jack seated me on the stool before taking a seat at the piano. His fingers ghosted over the keys before he started to play the opening chords to a song I recognised as the new Katy Perry song. It was a rare occasion for Jack to sing for me. I was the one who normally had to sing to him. So I sat back and enjoyed it, trying not to laugh at Jack’s version of the song.
“You think I’m pretty when I have my glasses on,
You think I’m funny when I tell the punch line wrong.
I knew you got me when you let your walls come down…”
oh my feck I'm crying so hard right now ;-; gah :') thanks for writing this beautiful piece xxox
5/6/14