Lean On Me.

My grin soon turned to a frown when the folder I was carrying fell to the floor with a bang and my pile of English assignments scattered all over the place. This really wasn’t my day. Nothing was going right for me at all. I quickly tried to gather everything, smiling in appreciation when Mark, one of the other teachers in the faculty, stopped to help me gather my things. My heart almost skipped a beat, and not in a good way, when I picked up a piece of paper with Alex’s familiar handwriting on it and saw things written on it that were not part of the assignment. I made an attempt to hide the page quickly, silently praying there weren’t more of them lying hidden in the pile.

“Thank you so much, Mark,” I started as he handed me the pile he’d collected. “It’s just been one of those days. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I placed the assignments in my bag and hurried to my car. If I didn’t hurry I was going to be late picking Bella up. She had an appointment with the Paediatrician this evening. She has not been sleeping too well and she’s lost her appetite too. She won’t eat and never finishes her bottles. She’s been keeping me up most nights and then when she’s finally asleep, she wakes up really early and that leaves her very cranky.

As I waited in the waiting room, balancing Bella on my knee, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Alex, letting me know that he’d be over about seven. I sent a simple reply of ‘sure’ back in response, leaving out my usual hugs and kisses. I couldn’t believe Alex had handed up what he had today. Instead of answering the question that had been set for his class, he had decided to write me what could only be described as a love letter instead. I would have been screwed if anyone had found it because let’s just say the content wasn’t exactly PG. He went into detail about some of the things he’d do to me if we were alone. We had come so close to being caught and I can’t believe he’d been so reckless.

* * * *

Bella’s appointment went well. She had an ear infection and she was teething which explained why she’d been so off form lately. It was a relief to know that there wasn’t anything majorly wrong with her. I was still so new to this parenting thing and it was hard to know at times if you were doing the right thing. Apparently babies can get extra cranky when they cut their back teeth. I had been assured that the medicine I had been given would work and Bella would be back to her usual self in no time. This put my mind at ease and I was really happy when Bella went to sleep early, meaning that she was asleep before Alex came.

I still don’t know how to feel about what he’d done. A part of me thought it was cute and it was totally the kind of things Alex would say but, a part of me also reminded me about just how much trouble we would get into if it fell into the wrong hands. By the time my Alex arrived, it was the last thing I wanted to think about and all I wanted was a hug from Alex.

“Hey, J,” Alex greeted me, coming to sit beside me on the couch wrapping his arms around me. “How’s Bella?”

“She’s asleep, the doc said that she’s just teething and she has an ear infection,” I replied as Alex linked my fingers with his.

I didn’t really pay attention to much of what was said over the next few minutes. I know Alex had asked me if it would be okay if he told his Dad that he was staying here tomorrow night so he could go to a party that one of his friends was throwing. I had said yes, knowing that he’d come to me after the party and that his Dad wouldn’t let him go so close to the exams.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “You seem a little off.”

“I’m fine,” I lied, returning my eyes to the TV screen. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Alex scoffed at my lie. He knew that normally by now I would have him as close to me as possible and I would have at least kissed him once.

“Baby,” Alex whined, dragging out the word. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

He moved so he was sitting on my lap facing me and tilted my chin up, trying to kiss me.

“Alex, stop,” I warned, ducking my head away. “I said that I’m okay. I’m just not in the mood.”

The look of confusion and hurt that flashed across Alex’s face made me feel like a douche as he pouted at me and tried to kiss me again. “You’re lying Jack, what happened? Why are you in such a mood? I don’t like seeing my Jacky sad. Did you get my surprise earlier?”

“Yes, I got your ‘surprise’, why’d you do it, Alex? Did you know we nearly got caught because of your childish surprise? I expected more from you but you just seem to be acting like such a child today. I’ve enough issues with one child as it is without you adding to it.”

Alex’s smile quickly disappeared and he looked as if I’d just slapped him. I had gone too far with my rant.

“A child? Is that all I am to you?” He sneered, rubbing at his eyes. “Well if I’m such a child, and such a pain to be around, then I’ll just go. Fuck you, Jack.”

With that, he stormed out the front door, leaving me to kick myself over what I’d just said. I hadn’t meant it. It had come out in the heat of the moment. I was stuck in a rut. I wanted to chase after him. I wanted to apologise, tell him I didn’t mean it, and tell him that I was sorry but I couldn’t. Matt wasn’t home yet and I couldn’t leave Bella alone, nor could I wake her up and drag her with me.

I tried ringing Alex’s phone but he kept rejecting the call. I was so screwed right now. Alex was pissed at me.

It seemed like it took forever but eventually Matt arrived home. The first thing he did was comment on how shit I looked.

“I screwed up dude. I screwed up big time. Alex’s pissed with me. We got in an argument and he stormed off.”

“Chill Jack, it was your first row. It was bound to happen. You’ve been together for so long. It was only a matter of time before it happened. What happened?”

“It’s a long story but, in short I called him a kid and he got mad and told me to go fuck myself before leaving. He’s not answering my calls or texts.”

“You’re an idiot,” Matt replied. “What the hell are you still doing here? Go after him, make things right. I’m not having you moping around the house for days just because you had an argument. Go get him now, I’ll watch Bella. You can’t come home until you have made up with him.”

With that, I raced out the door stopping only to grab my keys and went to find Alex.

Notes