It was only our second day here and already I felt like a different person. I didn't feel like someone's daughter or sister, I felt lonely and cold. Being safe from the world outside was the only thing that helped me sleep the night before. I'd been permitted to go see Tori after dinner, but she was staring blankly at me through the glass, which made my heart crumble. Had it not been for the fact that the men were carrying in pounds of raw meat, I would have taken her and ran. But she needed this. We all needed this.


Everyone else, excluding Matt, seemed rather content with our new set up. They were constantly asking me about Tori, but I knew they wanted time to feel like normal people again. They spent most of their time stuffing their faces or watching movies in their rooms. I was thankful I was sharing a room with Matt. He was just as heart broken by Tori's condition as I was, so we mostly sat in silence and held each other.


Today was especially hard. I was allowed to go see Tori before breakfast, and she looked okay, given everything going on around her.. But I knew the moment I left, they would begin their tests. Matt clung to me for a good twenty minutes, promising to keep my baby sister safe, before he left me alone in a hallway to go be with her. Had it not been for the knowing that Matt would be there through it all, I would have lost control of myself.


Now there was nothing I could do but wait. Wait for Matt to come back and tell me what happened, wait for Steven to track me down and give me some sort of results, but I knew neither were likey. Steven wouldn't have answers for days and Matt had already warned me he'd probably be with Tori all night, since the tests were going to be brutal. A part of me was jealous, because I wanted to be there with her, but her bond with Matt reminded me that he was the one who should be there. If something were to go wrong, his chances of survival would be much higher than mine, anyway.


"Riot, we're going to get some lunch," Vinny poked his head in the door to my room. "Wanna come?"


"No thanks, I'm not really hungry. I'll see you guys at dinner, though."


Vinny game me a slight nod and continued on his way. I was hungry, I admit that, but I couldn't bring myself to eat knowing that Tori was going through pure Hell. That didn't mean I could sit still and worry myself over it, either. There was only one other thing I could think of to take my mind off of my fear. I glanced around our tiny room, the brown walls made me sad and the blue blankets only added to that. There was a small dresser, which had the
television and DVD player set up on it, and inside of that dresser were several changes of clothing that barely fit both Matt and myself. They were all the same, white shirts, long or short sleeved and jogging pants. As for underwear, they had his and hers, but they were loose on both of us. The clothes we came here in would be washed and returned to us by the end of the week.


Still, no matter how long of a shower I had last night, or how long I brushed my teeth, I still felt disgusting. So I made my way to the dresser and pulled out a change of clothes. My feet carried me through the small, white hallway, the bright lights making my eyes hurt. I'd memorized my way to the showers, pushing through the glass doors only to hold my arms up and have my body checked for weapons by the two guards who remained in the changing room. When they discovered that I wasn't here to cause any harm, they let me go through another set of doors to where the showers were located.


I wasn't a fan of this room. Sure, the hot water was nice and cleaning products smelled amazing, but there weren't any stalls. I would have to stand there, exposed, and wash my body in shame. At least last night I had the guys to linger by the door and keep people out. I was thankful we appeared to be the only guests on this floor, but it still made me uncomfortable.


Stripping off my clothes, I started the water and relaxed into the heat. A smile spread across my lips as I soaked my hair, letting whatever dirt was left on my body wash away. Admittedly, I probably should have latered myself up, but it just felt so good to let the water rinse away all of my fears.


Had I been paying attention to the world outside of the stream, I would have heard the doors open and I would have had time to race to my clothes, but I didn't. Honestly, I didn't even realize anyone was with me until I heard the shower beside me start up. My heart began
beating fast as I glanced to my right, only to see Alex soaking his body with his eyes closed.


"Don't worry, I'm not looking. I mean, I saw, but I'm trying really hard not to be a creep here."


"I think to not be a creep, you should have turned around and left."


"I would have, but Jack spilled his drink of me at lunch. I'm a sticky mess and I really needed to wash up."


"Oh."


Alex nodded his head and blindly tried to reach the wall to grab the shampoo. I know I shouldn't have paid any mind to him, but the water dripping from his hair and down his torso was pulling me in. Though I kept my eyes above his waist, I was lost in him.


"A little help here?"


I blinked, wiping some of the water off of my face as I extended my arm to grab the bottle for him. I was trembling as I passed it to him, his fingers running over mine without even realizing it. He did, however, notice how hesitant I was to give him the bottle. Slowly, his eyes popped open and locked onto my own. We stayed like that for a moment, just staring at one another.


"Riot, don't look at me like that," Alex warned, tugging the bottle away from me. "You can't - You just can't."


I nodded my head and tore my eyes away from him. It was just so hard not to stare. We'd all been feeling alone, missing our loved ones, wondering what love even felt like anymore. I'd never been attracted to Alex before, but seeing him now, as a human, not a survivor, with his face freshly shaven and his skin smooth and clean, I couldn't help myself.


To avoid an awkward situation, I bit my lip and grabbed the other bottle of shampoo. I kept my eyes close to avoid hurting them, but also to shake the fear that Alex was staring at my nude body, juding me with each passing glance. The later ran down my body, suds disappearing down the drain. I cursed myself for being so uncomfortable, because I didn't even want to open my eyes to find the conditioner.


Being around Alex, after everything we'd been through, shouldn't be this hard. He brought Tori and I to safety. He let his friends take us in. He saved my life, and hers and he constantly had my back. Alex was one of my best friends. This was ridiculous. I sucked in a sharp breath and opened my eyes, tingles running down my back for the simple fact that Alex was no longer standing under the stream of his shower, he was standing directly in front of me, his eyes glazed over in a dangerously romantic way.


His eyes trailed down my body, and though I was thankful to have gotten my hands on a razor, I felt incredibly exposed.. But it wasn't enough to stop me from looking right back at him. It was wrong, we both knew it was wrong, but we were only human. We couldn't help how we felt in a moment of weakness.


I thought, maybe, this was my last chance to feel this way. A moment like this had never come to me before. After everything that'd happened in the world, I'd been shut away for much longer than I care to admit. I once had a neighbor I was quiet fond of, but that dream was crushed when the world fell apart.


"Alex, I-"
"You've never been in a situation like this before, I know, I can see it in your eyes. But you're so beautiful, Riot."


Alex bent over slowly and pressed his lips against mine. I'd been kissed before, but never like there. Truthfully, there wasn't any love. It was pure animal lust, but it was enough to make me weak in the knees. Alex and I had become such good friends I had to remind myself over and over again that this wouldn't ruin it. There was nothing else good in this world, I could at least share a special connection to a good friend.


A gasp left my throat as Alex's hands began to roam my body. It was so taboo, yet so comforting. He deepend the kiss as his fingers slid down to my most sacred area, all the air in my lungs falling away as a solid moan filled our kiss. Alex's erection was growing as he pressed himself against my pelvic bone. The lust in my body was over powering the fear.


"Do you trust me?"


"As many times as you've saved my life, Alex, how could I not?"


"Do you want this?"


"Only if you swear it won't change anything between us."


"It won't," Alex whispered, planting kisses on my neck. "You'll always be my best friend, no matter what happens between us."


My lips connected to Alex's once more, my nails grazing his shoulder blades as the steam from the showers danced around us. He grunted, lifting my thigh so he could position himself against my virginity, breaking the kiss so he could look me in the eyes. My heart was racing and I was scared of the new sensation, but I did trust him and we both knew this was probably our last chance to connect to another human being in such a way.


Sucking in a sharp breath, Alex kissed my forehead and pressed himself into me. Pain shot through my body but I welcomed it, wanting to know what was so magical about sex. It was the one part of my life I wasn't mature about. Being a mother to Tori, that was easy. Being a good shot and a deep thinker, it came natural. But love? I didn't understand it.


"You're officially not a virgin anymore," Alex whispered, kissing my neck. "I love you, Riot."


As Alex shoved himself further inside of me, the pain nearly made me stumble over, but I couldn't have asked for a better way to lose my last bit of childhood. I loved him, too, even though we both knew there was nothing romantic about it. Alex was my hero, just as I was his, and our bond would live on long after we're gone.

Notes

I just wanted to add in a bit of human desire to make it more realistic. Hope you don't mind the incredibly mild smut, lol. Comments, please?