Three Musketeers

He's always there. Like he never left. Hovering over me incase I go off again.
"Your here for me?" I asked him
"Yeah"
"You're not here for me. You're here for me. You're here for me. Like I'm here for Alex. Like I was there for you when you were in this hell hole. You're here for me. Why are you here?" I was tearing up
"You have to figure it baby" He moved forward to grab my face. I moved back to dodge him
"I'm not your baby. You died" he nodded "I held your hand in the hospital while you died. I felt the life drain out of you. I had to explain to your mom why you were taking herion. I had to hear her screams as she thought she had failed you" I looked up at him, Tears streaming down my face. Then it clicked, something I remember from bio class. "I'm ill aren't i?" He nodded once more. "Heaven or hell?" he nodded again.
"I really hoped this was heaven. Because I love you so much, I never stopped loving you. Even that summer back in high school when you went on your first tour and I was pissed at you for leaving. I still loved you then. I really hoped this was heaven because you're my heaven. But now I know its not. You're my heaven but I think I may be your hell"
"LEAVE JUST GET THE FUCK OUT. I HATE YOU."
"I can go now. You know. Its your choice for me to leave but If i go I can't come back. Jace its your choice" He looked at me with utter love. Suddenly I was 18 again and in love. No one ever calls me Jace except from dad and my brothers.
"In the choice between heaven or hell. I chose now. I chose life. I chose to fight. GO NOW!" he just stood there looking at me, a minute passed "Why wont you leave? JUST GO CHA-" he kissed me, the one last kiss from I never got. The goodbye kiss I longed for, for so long. then just like the first time I met him, he was gone. I stood staring at the hospital carpark. I turned around and walked back in the hospital. When I got back to Alex's room he was awake.
"Hey baby" I said.. Giving him a kiss on his a forehand.
"You've been crying whats wrong?" the concern is his voice was comforting.
"you scared me baby, I thought I was gonna lose you baby. Don't do that again"
He gave me a cuddle and we sat there cuddling, the band came piling into the room with flowers and chocolates, Making us both smile.
For a moment there I forgot about Charlie, I forgot that I was ill. For a moment we had a pure and complete moment of happiness. This one big fucked up family. For a moment there every single one of us had a genuine smile on our faces. Soon it would be all over. I excused myself from the room. I asked the nurse outside were oncology was. She accompanied me to the ward. I look at the receptionist, I asked her if there was any chance of seeing a doctor today, There actually was since someone had just cancelled. She too accompanied me to the consultation room.
"How can I help you today?"
"I think I'm ill. I can see my dead boyfriend and he speaks to me."

Notes