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A Better Reality

I Wanna Live While We're Young

Throughout the rest of my first week here in Towson, Alex and I slowly started to get along and actually become friends. During our off period we would go out to the field and while he fiddled around on his guitar I would draw portraits of him, and occasionally we would sing together. We learned a lot about one another, but nothing too personal, I wouldn’t allow that much to slip out.

For instance, I learned Alex’s favorite color is red, his favorite animal is a unicorn, he loves Blink 182, he isn’t a virgin anymore, he lived in England until he was 7 years old, he first picked up a guitar in 5th grade, his favorite subject is English, he’s biggest fear is becoming irrelevant or obsolete, he loves James Bond, his favorite superhero is Batman (or The Joker but that’s an enemy), he doesn’t have a favorite book, he thinks he can rap and he has a huge crush on Mila Kunis. In return he learned that I love the color yellow, my favorite animal is a cat, my favorite artist is Elton John, I was born in New York but moved to Maryland when I was two, I started playing guitar in 3rd grade, my favorite subject is Art, my biggest fear is dying, I love scary movies, my favorite superhero is Wonderwoman, my favorite book is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, I know I can sing and my celebrity crush is Justin Timberlake. Yes, I know what you are thinking, I like normal things? Yes, yes I do.

It was Friday and currently Alex and I were sitting in the field doing what we did every day, drawing and strumming on a guitar.

“Hey Elle, what are your plans for tonight?” Alex asked, using the nickname he gave me at the beginning of the week.

“I was just going to stay home, I don’t know of any place I could go,” I said as I shaded one of Alex’s eyes.

“You should come out with all the guys and I.”

“Where to?” I curiously asked.

“A party…”

“Absolutely not,” I sternly said.

“Oh come on! You need to make some friends. In plus, going to parties and having a good time is a big aspect of public school! You don’t even have to drink!” Alex exclaimed.

“Alex, I said no.”

“Well I’m not taking no for an answer. You’re coming whether you like it or not. You moved here to try something new and this is new,” Alex said and he proved a good point. I did want to try new things.

“Okay. But why do I feel like there is a deeper reason as to why you want me to attend this shindig with you all?” I asked when I finally looked up from my drawing.

“Okay you caught me. We need a designated driver, but I really do want you to come to experience new things.”

“Fine. I’ll go, but only for the safety of my step brother and his friends,” I said and we packed our things up and headed inside. I have no idea what I just got myself into.

Later that night I was trying to think of an excuse as to why I shouldn’t go to this party when my mother’s voice appeared in my head.

“Ladies never back out plans they agreed to.”

I inwardly groaned and got off my bed. I walked over to my closet to pull out a pair of jeans and a top for tonight. I figured since it was a high school party I didn’t need to dress fancy. After changing my clothes I threw my long auburn-brown hair into a high ponytail. I slipped on some jewelry that would match, which was basically the jewelry I wore every second of my life. The pearl ring my grandmother gave me, the four leaf clover necklace my dad gave me, and the bracelet my father also gave me, they were a part of me and I very rarely took them off. I also put on some earrings that would go along with the outfit. I rummaged through my makeup bag and pulled out my mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, and lip gloss and applied it accordingly. I went to grab my nail polish and then I went downstairs to see if Cathy could help me paint my nails. Once I got downstairs all the boys were thrown around the living room, waiting on me of course, when I spoke up.

“Has anyone seen Cathy? I need her help.”

Everyone jumped at my voice, except Rian.

“She left about 20 minutes ago, it's her and Dad’s date night, why what do you need help with?” Rian asked me, his eyes never leaving the TV.

“Painting my nails. But I guess I won’t do it, unless one of you, surprisingly, know how to paint nails,” I said, trailing off at the end.

“I know how to,” Jack said and my mouth dropped, along with everyone else’s.

“How?” Alex asked him.

“May (his sister) made me learn when I was younger so I could help her paint her nails. I’m actually pretty good at it.”

“Alright Jack. Let’s go, you’re painting my nails,” I said to him and then retrieved up the stairs and back to my room with Jack right behind me. He pulled a chair up to the side of my bed where I sat and took the polish from me where he quickly got to work on my hands. 15 minutes and 2 coats of nail polish passed and Jack deemed my hands as done.

“What about your toes? Are you gonna where some sexy open toed heels for all the boys to go gaga over at your long dancer legs?” Jack asked while wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Definitely not,” I said with an eye roll. “I’m wearing flats that cover my toes, so I think I’m fine.”

After that Jack walked out of my room and I went into my closet to grab my shoes and put them on. Once I looked in the mirror I figured I was ready to go, I threw the makeup I used into my purse and then went downstairs to tell the boys I was ready to go. They all stood up and Alex threw me his car keys, because I would not be driving my car, and we all piled into his Nissan XTerra. After driving for an hour, getting lost twice thanks to Jacks poor directions, we arrived at the house. Everyone got out and all but ran into the house, except for Alex.

“Ready Elle?” He asked, sticking his arm out for me to loop mine with.

“Not really.”

“You’ll be fine. Just don’t take drinks from strangers, and most importantly have fun,” He said to me, his body now facing mine.

“I just don’t do parties like this,” I mentioned while I wrapped my arms around my middle.

“Look, if you need me I’ll be there for you, but I refuse to smother you because I want you to get your own memories from this night, not mine…if I have any,” he said ending it with a laugh. He closed the space between and gave me a hug trying to comfort me, it didn’t work but I accepted it.

“Okay, let’s go,” I said making my way to walk into the house. Alex yelled out sweet and caught up with me. Once we got inside I was blown away by how many people were crammed into the house, Alex led me into the house by my hand, and we weaved through a ton of people I didn’t recognize until we got into the kitchen. He dropped my hand and picked up a red plastic cup and took a swig of it. He offered some to me but I shook my head.

“Look I know I said you were going to be the driver tonight, but Rian isn’t going to drink heavily he never does, and he’s usually our driver. So if you want to let loose and drink, by all means do it. But, if you do...come get a drink from me or Zack, Rian will probably tell you no and Jack will give you drinks that would make you throw up in the morning and nobody wants that,” Alex said and I just nodded my head.

“I probably won’t drink though, not yet at least,” I said and he rolled his eyes. He turned back to the counter and I saw him pour some clear liquid, then he turned around and held two shot glasses in his hands.

“That’s a lie, because you are fixing to do a shot with me,” he smirked at me, and he looked cute. I know what you’re thinking, Eleanor thinks Alex is cute? No way! Well I do, he’s very normal and I’ve been getting to know him, so yes I think he’s cute. I am normal after all.

“Absolutely not. I really don’t want to drink Alex, and you poured those when I couldn’t see what you poured and I doubt it was a brand new bottle,” I said to him with my arms crossed over my chest.

Alex gave the two shots to a random person who just shrugged and walked off. “Elle, let loose! Its one shot, it isn’t going to get you fucked up like you think it will. I know you come from the line of fancy people who follow the rules, but nobody likes people like that! I want you to have fun and live up to the reason why you moved here. Drinking is a new experience, you don’t have to do a lot, and you can work your way up! Just have fun,” he said as he grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me. He thinks the reason I moved here was for a new experience, but that wasn’t the main reason. The main reason is a lot deeper and scarier. As the bad thoughts of my life living with my mother and step father crept their way through my mind Alex’s next words changed my mind.

“You can drink your troubles away, whatever they maybe! As long as you don’t turn into an alcoholic though,” he tempted.

“Alright. Re pour the shots but open a new bottle and let me watch you pour them,” I said and he hugged me. Once he did what I asked he handed me one of the small glasses and instructed me on what to do.

“Just toss it back and swallow right away. Don’t let it settle in your mouth because I know you’ll spit it out,” he instructed and I just nodded my head. “Okay Elle, on my count we toss them back together. One….Two….Three!” He yelled and we both tossed them back and I swallowed immediately. The burning that went down my throat along with the drink was painful and gross! I couldn’t help but cough and when I looked up Alex was laughing at me.

“What do you find so funny, Alexander?” I asked.

“You are so new to this.”

“How might you tell?” I asked.

“Because you did the typical response of every new drinker on the planet,” he said while still laughing.

“Well, let’s make it to where I’m not new anymore!” I yelled, and I never yell.

“Slow down there Champ. You are WILL get drunk faster than everyone else since you've never drunken alcohol before, so let’s start it off easy. There are more things you need to know about drinking if you don’t want to be throwing up and blacking out,” he said and my eyes bulged out of my head, people actually black out?

“What are they?”

“The big ones are: Liquor before beer and you’re in the clear but beer before liquor and you’ll never be sicker. Now another big one is don’t drink excessively. Keep the liquor you drink at a small amount. I would stick to shots and maybe one drink that is mixed with liquor, then switch to beer. Also, carry a bottle of water around in your purse and slowly take gulps from it. Water helps sober you up and you don’t want to be white girl wasted when you leave,” Alex sternly said. It was kind of funny at how serious he was being.

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” I said as I threw a water bottle into my purse. “Now let’s do another one of these shots!”

Alex poured the shots again and handed one to me, this time we toasted to it.

“Here’s to living while we’re young!” Alex yelled then clinked his glass with mine and we tossed them back. This time I didn’t cough or anything.

“Hey I didn’t cough!” I yelled and Alex could tell I was starting to have fun, that’s because I was. Alcohol is gross but it was fun breaking a rule, in fact breaking a LAW. Just as we stopped laughing Rian walked by and Alex grabbed him by his shirt.

“Don’t get drunk tonight, Eleanor is drinking so you’re the driver bud,” Alex said and let Rian go, who had a disappointed look on his face.

“How come you call me Elle when it’s just you and I, but when we are around other people you call me Eleanor?” I asked him, but I think it was the alcohol working its way into my system.

“Because, I don’t want other people calling you Elle, it’s my thing,” he smirked at me and my stomach started to feel funny, I shook it off as the alcohol though.

We were just about to do another shot when a very good looking boy came up to Alex and me.

“Hey Alex! Glad you could make it tonight!” The boy yelled to Alex, the music is very loud, and did their little bro hug/handshake thing.

“Thanks for the invite man, I hope you don’t mind but I brought a couple of friends along with me,” he said, striking a conversation with the boy.

“Nah, I figured you would bring the band, but I didn’t know you would bring a girl, usually you are leaving with a girl,” the nameless boy said while looking at me.

“Huh? Oh! Danny this is Eleanor, Eleanor this is Danny. He’s in another local band!” Alex introduced us, now giving nameless boy a name, Danny. He stuck his hand out for me to shake, and I shook it.

“Nice to meet you Eleanor,” Danny said and I couldn’t help giggle.

“You too Danny.”

“So how long have you and Alex been dating?” Danny asked me, and if I was drinking something I would have spit it out.

“We aren’t dating, just friends bro,” Alex said for me.

“Oh, well from where I was standing it looked like you two were dating,” Danny said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Nah, just trying to get her to have fun. Here Eleanor,” Alex said as he handed me a cup. I took it from his hands with a questioning look on his face, and he could tell what I wanted to know.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t spike it. It’s just fruit punch and vodka, you’ll like it, you can barely taste the liquor,” he said to me, and then walked off. That was weird. I took a sip of the drink in hand and he was right, I loved it!

“So Eleanor I don’t think I’ve seen you around at any of Alex’s parties or shows, and I would remember if I saw a beautiful girl like you walking around in the same room as me,” Danny said and once again, I started to giggle. Once I stopped I finally answered him.

“I just moved to Towson last Friday, and before that I didn’t know Alex.”

“Okay, I see. So what do you like to do in your spare time?” Danny asked me while making himself a drink.

“I like to draw, sing, dance, play guitar, and that’s really it,” I said and I tipped my cup back against my lips but it was empty. I pouted and looked in it, and then looked at the counter to find the things I needed to make another.

“Want me to make you another?” Danny asked while gesturing to my cup and I just shook my head and handed him my cup. He filled my cup up half way with punch and then filled the rest with vodka, I was surprised there was that much liquor in it, but it was still good. He handed me the drink and I took a sip of it.

“Thank you,” I said and smiled at him.

“So you said you like to dance, mind showing me your skills?” He asked, pointing to the living room where there were a ton of people dancing.

I shook my head no, “I don’t do that kind of dancing. I do more lyrical, contemporary, ballet kind of stuff. Not hip hop, I think I did hip hop like once when I was younger.”

“I’m sure you can pick up on hip hop, it’s really easy,” he said while refilling my empty cup again. I remembered what Alex said about drinking water so I grabbed a bottle of water and took a few swigs of it before Danny handed me my cup again. This drink was stronger, but still delicious.

“What did you put in this?” I asked him, pointing to my cup.

“I replaced the vodka with tequila, its better.” I nodded my head to his words and started to dance a little as I stood there.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go dance?” Danny asked as he laughed at me.

“You know what? Why not! Live while we’re young right?” I yelled and he just nodded his head and grabbed my hand and led me to where everyone was dancing. I quickly pulled my phone out to check the time and I saw I had an unread text message from 20 minutes ago.

From Alexander: Trust him, have fun though.

What does that even mean? Trust him but have fun. I shook it off and put my phone in my pocket. Once we got to the center of everyone dancing I looked around to see how everyone was dancing, I’m a fast learner. Everyone was grinding I don’t dance like that. But then I remembered what I said, live while we’re young, and then I remembered Alex told me to have fun. So, I chugged the rest of my drink and tossed the empty cup somewhere and I threw my arms around Danny’s shoulders and started dancing like everybody else. After dancing like a slut for the next however long it had been and however many drinks it had been I started getting the feeling like I had to pee. So I got on my tippy toes to talk into Danny’s ear.

“I have to use the restroom, I’ll be right back.”

“Okay, I’ll go get us something to drink,” he said into my ear. I clumsily walked towards where I thought the bathroom was, trying to dodge the moving bodies as best as I could. Once I asked someone where the bathroom was and they pointed to a door, I knocked on the door. I didn’t hear anyone protest so I opened the door and a couple was in there making out.

“I have to use the restroom, sorry,” I said and they made their way out so I could do my business. Once I finished peeing I washed my hands, touched up my make up, and made my way out of the bathroom. I was just about to walk to the kitchen when I felt a hand grab my forearm and pull me towards them, once I looked at the person I saw it was Danny and I let out the breath I was holding. He handed me a cup and I thanked him.

“Wanna go out back and take a break from dancing?” Danny asked me and I nodded my head. He took my hand and led me through the living room, through the kitchen, and in the kitchen a certain brunette boy caught my eye. I turned and saw Alex making out with that Dina girl, who’s in our English class, against the kitchen wall. I rolled my eyes, but something instead me felt hurt. He ditched me for that slut. I shook it off and walked outside where the winter air hit me, and hit me hard.

“It’s freezing out here!” I yelled and Danny laughed at me as he shook his coat off and put it around my shoulders.

“There you go,” He said and led me over to where there was a chair underneath a tree. He sat down and I looked around for another chair to pull up.

“Where’s another seat?” I asked him and again he just laughed.

“You can sit on my lap, I won’t bite. Somebody has to keep me warm,” he said, signaling to his lap. I shrugged my shoulders and sat on his lap. He adjusted me to where my legs were to the side of his and I was angled to where I could see his face. I took a gulp of my drink and then set it down on the arm of the chair and wrapped one of my arms around Danny’s neck. I don’t know what made me do what I did next, but I leaned down and connected my lips to Danny’s. He kissed back and we moved our lips against each other’s until we needed to come up for air. Once we got air I readjusted myself to where I was straddling his lap and brought my lips back against his.

“Let’s take this some place that no one can see us, pretty girl,” Danny said against my lips. I abruptly pulled away and started to cry at those all too familiar words once spoken by my step father every time my mother would be out of town or out for the night. I got off his lap and ran away from him, despite his protesting words. I ran into the kitchen and saw Alex in the same spot I saw him last, and I ran up to him.

“Alex, Alex, Alex!” I yelled while I ferociously tapped his shoulder. Finally he disconnected his lips from an angry Dina and turned around. Once he saw I was crying he completely turned his body to face me and hugged me.

“What’s the matter?” He asked me and I started to sob. Once he realized he probably wasn’t going to get anything out of me he led me outside to the front yard.

“Hey, calm down. Just breathe,” he said while he tried to wipe away all the tears that were spilling from my eyes. He gave up once he saw I wasn’t going to stop crying.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked me as he rubbed my back soothingly and I nodded my head against his collar bone, seeing as he was only a few inches taller than me. He pulled his phone out and quickly typed something, and then put it away. He reached into my purse and took out the keys to his car.

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he said and led me over to his car.

“Haven’t you been drinking?” I asked him.

“I stopped like an hour ago and sobered up.” I just nodded my head as he helped me get into the passenger seat of his car. After I got in he shut my door and jogged around to his side and climbed in. He brought his car to life and very carefully pulled away from the car packed curb and started for my home. After a few minutes of silence he turned on the radio and an Elton John song was on, and a smile came on to my face at the familiar words. I lightly singed the words to the song until it was over.

“Are you going to tell me why you started crying?” Alex asked me once the song had ended and he saw I had calmed down.

“Danny just said something that has been haunting me since I was 7,” I said to him, taking deep breaths.

“What did he say?”

“He called me pretty girl and asked if I wanted to go where no one can see us,” I said to Alex as I stared out of the car window and watched everything fly by us. Little did I know Alex tried to think of what could have happened to me that matched with those words.

After a few more minutes we got back to my house, and Alex led me inside very quietly so we didn’t disturb the sleeping forms of my dad and Cathy, who were on the living room couch snuggling. I smiled at how in love they were and how happy I knew my dad was. Alex finally got me to my room and sat me on the bed.

“Where are your pajamas?” He asked me, while looking around my room.

“The top drawer on the left side of my dresser,” I said pointing to the respected item. He walked over to the dresser and grabbed me some shorts and a shirt then tossed them to me. Once I caught them he turned around and walked out the door so I could change. I quickly changed and threw my clothes into my clothes hamper.

“I’m done,” I said and he came back into my room. He pulled back my blankets and sheets and helped me into my bed. I laid down and let out a sigh of content. Alex went to shut my light off and opened my door to leave.

“Wait,” I called out to him.

“What’s the matter?” He asked, concern in his eyes.

“Stay with me?” I asked him and patted the space in my bed next to me. He sighed and shut my door. He started to take his pants off when he looked up at me.

“Is it okay?” He said, pointing to his pants and I nodded my head yes. He finished taking them off and folded them up and placed them on top of my dresser. He took his jacket off and placed it next to his pants then pointed to his shirt and again I nodded my head. He took that off and placed it next to his pants. He walked over to my bed, and I scooted over to give him more room as he climbed in next to me. Once he laid down I scooted back over to him and curled into his side. I was drunk, because on any other day I would not be laying in my bed with a half-naked boy next to me. Alex and I chatted aimlessly for about 30 minutes when I finally fell asleep with my head on his chest.

Little did I know Alex lay awake trying to figure out what happened to me when I was 7.

Little did I know he figured it out.

Notes

Title Cred:
Song: Live While We're Young
Band: One Direction (go ahead, judge me.)

Comments

the starts part killed me. so cute and uhg i'm just way to into this
dizzydisaster dizzydisaster
10/27/13