Call Me Foolish, I Feel Hopeless
You Had A Piece Of My Heart
Alex Gaskarth
*****TRIGGER WARNING*****
"And then Rian stood up and walked out! It was so awesome!" The bubbly skunk haired boy exclaimed, making the story sound more interesting then it really was. All Rian did was walk out of a classroom because one of the teacher's didn't like the way he held his sticks. Rian's friend Zack rolled his eyes, focusing back on his lunch. It's been a week since i've been at this camp, and honestly it's been alright. No one has noticed the cuts on my thighs so that's good. My secrets are safe, and it made my stay here so much easier. Jack actually even became my best friend. Yet there is a problem. I might have a tiny crush on him.
See, I never liked a boy before. I mean I didn't really know I had it in me. Jack's smile made my day twenty times better. When he made a horrible joke, I kind of wanted to laugh and kiss him for being adorable. Lately i've been having dreams about him as well. It's awkward exclaiming why i'm waking up with a boner to him, when he's the one causing it. I'm so fucking whipped and i'm not even in a relationship with him.
"Earth to Alex?" Jack's voice broke my thoughts.
"Sorry, kind of just spaced out." I admitted, a faint blush making a way onto my cheeks.
"Lunch is over." He laughed, standing up from the table. I followed, kind of feeling like a lost puppy. I just really wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
"I'm going to head back to the cabin. I think I forgot my phone." I lied through my teeth.
"See you in class dude." Jack patted my shoulder, walking away to the main building. Putting my hands in my pockets, I walked back to the cabin. Class wasn't what I was worried about right now, I could just skip that. Soon enough my fingers was holding the slim, shiny piece of metal. I held it up, debating if it was a good idea. Of course it's never a good idea, but should I really do it while someone could walk in at any minute? The urge seemed to over take me as I rolled up my shorts, letting me stare down at hundreds of tiny white scars. I closed my eyes as I pressed down onto my pale skin. Sighing in relief from the contact, I slid it across, making little red droplets appear. I repeated the process a couple more times, realizing I should really stop. I could always pick it back up later. Cleaning up the cuts and putting my supplies away, I laid face down into my pillow.
"Alex?" Jack's voice echoed through the room. I felt pressure on the end of the bed, and a hand rubbing circles into my back. "Are you okay?" I could hear the concern in his voice.
"I'm fine Jack." I mumbled into the pillow. I felt bad enough for lying to my newly found friend. I didn't need to tell him anything going on as well.
"I might be younger than you, but i'm not an idiot." He sighed, resting his hand on my back. "I dealt with my mother telling me she was fine for fifteen years and one day she's gone."
I lifted head out of the pillow to take a look at Jack's face. I really wish I never did. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, pain clearly written onto his facial features. I automatically grabbed him into a hug, letting him cry.
"I miss her so much." He sniffled, setting his head on my shoulder. I felt butterflies in my stomach because of the close contact.
"She would be proud of you." I told him, looking down at him. He gave me a weak smile, picking himself up from my embrace.
"Thank you Alex." Jack said to me, actually having a real smile on his face. "Enough with this depressing shit! Let's go hang out with Rian and Zack!" He yelled, making me laugh. He grabbed my hand, and soon enough we were out the door.
I couldn't help but think about how he admitted his past, and I can't admit what's happening in the present.
*****TRIGGER WARNING*****
"And then Rian stood up and walked out! It was so awesome!" The bubbly skunk haired boy exclaimed, making the story sound more interesting then it really was. All Rian did was walk out of a classroom because one of the teacher's didn't like the way he held his sticks. Rian's friend Zack rolled his eyes, focusing back on his lunch. It's been a week since i've been at this camp, and honestly it's been alright. No one has noticed the cuts on my thighs so that's good. My secrets are safe, and it made my stay here so much easier. Jack actually even became my best friend. Yet there is a problem. I might have a tiny crush on him.
See, I never liked a boy before. I mean I didn't really know I had it in me. Jack's smile made my day twenty times better. When he made a horrible joke, I kind of wanted to laugh and kiss him for being adorable. Lately i've been having dreams about him as well. It's awkward exclaiming why i'm waking up with a boner to him, when he's the one causing it. I'm so fucking whipped and i'm not even in a relationship with him.
"Earth to Alex?" Jack's voice broke my thoughts.
"Sorry, kind of just spaced out." I admitted, a faint blush making a way onto my cheeks.
"Lunch is over." He laughed, standing up from the table. I followed, kind of feeling like a lost puppy. I just really wanted to be alone with my thoughts.
"I'm going to head back to the cabin. I think I forgot my phone." I lied through my teeth.
"See you in class dude." Jack patted my shoulder, walking away to the main building. Putting my hands in my pockets, I walked back to the cabin. Class wasn't what I was worried about right now, I could just skip that. Soon enough my fingers was holding the slim, shiny piece of metal. I held it up, debating if it was a good idea. Of course it's never a good idea, but should I really do it while someone could walk in at any minute? The urge seemed to over take me as I rolled up my shorts, letting me stare down at hundreds of tiny white scars. I closed my eyes as I pressed down onto my pale skin. Sighing in relief from the contact, I slid it across, making little red droplets appear. I repeated the process a couple more times, realizing I should really stop. I could always pick it back up later. Cleaning up the cuts and putting my supplies away, I laid face down into my pillow.
"Alex?" Jack's voice echoed through the room. I felt pressure on the end of the bed, and a hand rubbing circles into my back. "Are you okay?" I could hear the concern in his voice.
"I'm fine Jack." I mumbled into the pillow. I felt bad enough for lying to my newly found friend. I didn't need to tell him anything going on as well.
"I might be younger than you, but i'm not an idiot." He sighed, resting his hand on my back. "I dealt with my mother telling me she was fine for fifteen years and one day she's gone."
I lifted head out of the pillow to take a look at Jack's face. I really wish I never did. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, pain clearly written onto his facial features. I automatically grabbed him into a hug, letting him cry.
"I miss her so much." He sniffled, setting his head on my shoulder. I felt butterflies in my stomach because of the close contact.
"She would be proud of you." I told him, looking down at him. He gave me a weak smile, picking himself up from my embrace.
"Thank you Alex." Jack said to me, actually having a real smile on his face. "Enough with this depressing shit! Let's go hang out with Rian and Zack!" He yelled, making me laugh. He grabbed my hand, and soon enough we were out the door.
I couldn't help but think about how he admitted his past, and I can't admit what's happening in the present.
Notes
Hey guys! I have a beautiful new co-writer named Heather! So she'll be writing on this sometimes.I have big plans for this story, so I hope you guys like it so far. :)
Also i'm making cover story pictures if anyone wants one. I made both for my two stories, if you want examples. If you want more samples of my work, message me! c:
Tumblr: http://lovely-misery.tumblr.com/
8/28/13