Sea Of Sound
Here We Go
“Tonight I’m changing things up a bit.”
Alex said as he sat down on his stool, facing the crowd with nothing more than an acoustic guitar in his hands and a mic stand in front of him.
“Not only does this song go out to anyone who has ever felt lost or alone, or anyone who has ever felt the need to change for anyone else, you all are fucking beautiful, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.”
The crowd cheered before he continued somberly, “But this song also goes out to a fan in this room tonight. I received some letters during our meet and greet today, which is normal. But one of them stood out to me.”
I was already crying from the beginning of his Therapy speech, I can’t handle those on a good day, but now this? To say a letter stood out to him meant he read them all. I don’t even care if he’s talking about someone else’s. Dana promised she would give it to him; he had to have read mine.
The thought left me in a crying, crumbling heap up against the barrier.
“Somewhere in this letter it said, ‘the song therapy got me through one of the worst times of my life. No one understands what this band and your lyrics means to me. I honestly do not think I would be alive to write this letter to you, or to see this show if it wasn’t for your music.” Alex continued, and my breath hitched as I recognized my own words.
“And Kaile, I want you to know that I fucking understand. And if you’re in this room right now, I want you up here next to me singing along.”
I clutched the metal bar of the barrier in my hands. This was not happening. This is not real.
“Jeff, hit the crowd with some lights, I want to find this girl.”
I collected myself enough to stand up straight. I lifted my hand and started waving at Alex as he scanned the crowd.
The room was dead silent, so I took the chance to speak up.
“I’m right here.” I said, barely able to get the words out past my heavy sobs.
Alex turned his head and walked over.
“Kaile?” He asked.
“You pronounced it wrong, but yeah.” I nodded and tried to make a joke out of it.
“Well fuck. Get up here you gorgeous thing.”
Security helped me up onto the stage, and I nervously stood next to Alex’s stool after he gave me what had to have been one of the most meaningful hugs of my life.
“Matt, get her a chair you dirty bastard. And a mic too!”
I was still trying to hold back my tears, shuffling awkwardly with my feet. Flyzik brought me a stool identical to Alex’s, for which I was extremely grateful. Once I didn’t fear collapsing, I could finally pull myself together a bit.
“So can you sing?” He asked into his microphone.
“Not well.” I responded with a slight smile into the one that I had just been handed a moment earlier. I jumped at how my voice echoed throughout the room.
“So fuck it! Neither can Jack and nothing stops him!” You could hear Rian make drumming noise in the background and a slight “FUCK YOU!” from Jack.
I laughed and began to relax a bit.
“Let’s do this.” He said to me, and to the crowd, “This one’s called Therapy.”
As the opening notes from his guitar rang through my ears, I forgot where I was. I was no longer on stage with the man who had saved my life. I wasn’t at the best concert of my life. I was right back in those dark times. I had the blades in my hand and the empty bottle on the floor. But this time around, the flashback wasn’t as bad. I had the music to lead me through and in the end that was all it took.
I opened my eyes as the first verse started.
My ship went down in a sea of sound, when I woke up alone I had everything.
I shifted my view from the audience to Alex, only to find his eyes trained on me.
A handful of moments I wished I could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.
A single tear ran down my cheek as I closed my eyes again and started to sway with the melody.
In a city of fools I was careful and cool, but they tore me apart like a hurricane.
I tried my best to make my voice melt in with Alex’s. I really did. I don’t think it was ever going to happen though.
A handful of moments I wished I could change, but I was carried away…
He was grinning at me now. Looking at me sideways with his lips still pressed to the microphone. Those eyes. I started to cry even more.
Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything.
That bastard, he left me hanging by myself. The crowd was so overwhelmingly in touch with what I was feeling and singing. I could see it in every face that I could make out behind the bright stage lights.
Therapy, you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery.
“Dude sorry for butchering your song.” I laughed in between verses.
“Naw, it’s all a beautiful thing.” He replied with a genuine smile and I just melted on the spot.
I couldn’t gather my breath in time, so I just left Alex to himself for the next line.
My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd. I think that keeping this up could be dangerous.
He glanced over at me, prompting me to sing again.
I’m flesh and bone. I’m a rolling fucking stone
I had a huge grin on my face now, and so did Alex.
And the experts say I’m delirious
Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty but I’m smiling at everything.
We continued for a while, I messed around a bit and echoed him in some places, which sounded fucking amazing, even if it was off pitch.
We sang the final chorus a capella, since Alex used his arm that should have been playing the guitar to squeeze me tightly in one of those side-arm hugs.
The song ended, and everyone cheered. Despite the few stray tears running down my face, I was on top of the world.
“Sorry if I ruined that song for you guys.” I said shyly out to the audience. “I know it has to mean just as much to some of you as it does to me. I didn’t mean to butcher it.”
“WAIT!” Jack yelled into his mic. I turned to my right to see him back in his place on the stage.
“What?” I laughed.
“Can I sing with you?”
“Why would you want to do that?” I asked, suspicious.
“Because I think that you’re the only person I would sound good in comparison with.” He finished with that cheeky grin.
“Fair enough!” I replied as the crowd laughed along with us.
I set the mic down and Alex offered me one last hug.
“Thank you.” I said before he let go. “For everything.”
He squeezed me a bit tighter before security lifted me back into the crowd. Alex watched to make sure I got my original spot back, sent me one last grin, before turning back to the whole venue.
“Who’s ready to rock the fuck out?”
Alex said as he sat down on his stool, facing the crowd with nothing more than an acoustic guitar in his hands and a mic stand in front of him.
“Not only does this song go out to anyone who has ever felt lost or alone, or anyone who has ever felt the need to change for anyone else, you all are fucking beautiful, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.”
The crowd cheered before he continued somberly, “But this song also goes out to a fan in this room tonight. I received some letters during our meet and greet today, which is normal. But one of them stood out to me.”
I was already crying from the beginning of his Therapy speech, I can’t handle those on a good day, but now this? To say a letter stood out to him meant he read them all. I don’t even care if he’s talking about someone else’s. Dana promised she would give it to him; he had to have read mine.
The thought left me in a crying, crumbling heap up against the barrier.
“Somewhere in this letter it said, ‘the song therapy got me through one of the worst times of my life. No one understands what this band and your lyrics means to me. I honestly do not think I would be alive to write this letter to you, or to see this show if it wasn’t for your music.” Alex continued, and my breath hitched as I recognized my own words.
“And Kaile, I want you to know that I fucking understand. And if you’re in this room right now, I want you up here next to me singing along.”
I clutched the metal bar of the barrier in my hands. This was not happening. This is not real.
“Jeff, hit the crowd with some lights, I want to find this girl.”
I collected myself enough to stand up straight. I lifted my hand and started waving at Alex as he scanned the crowd.
The room was dead silent, so I took the chance to speak up.
“I’m right here.” I said, barely able to get the words out past my heavy sobs.
Alex turned his head and walked over.
“Kaile?” He asked.
“You pronounced it wrong, but yeah.” I nodded and tried to make a joke out of it.
“Well fuck. Get up here you gorgeous thing.”
Security helped me up onto the stage, and I nervously stood next to Alex’s stool after he gave me what had to have been one of the most meaningful hugs of my life.
“Matt, get her a chair you dirty bastard. And a mic too!”
I was still trying to hold back my tears, shuffling awkwardly with my feet. Flyzik brought me a stool identical to Alex’s, for which I was extremely grateful. Once I didn’t fear collapsing, I could finally pull myself together a bit.
“So can you sing?” He asked into his microphone.
“Not well.” I responded with a slight smile into the one that I had just been handed a moment earlier. I jumped at how my voice echoed throughout the room.
“So fuck it! Neither can Jack and nothing stops him!” You could hear Rian make drumming noise in the background and a slight “FUCK YOU!” from Jack.
I laughed and began to relax a bit.
“Let’s do this.” He said to me, and to the crowd, “This one’s called Therapy.”
As the opening notes from his guitar rang through my ears, I forgot where I was. I was no longer on stage with the man who had saved my life. I wasn’t at the best concert of my life. I was right back in those dark times. I had the blades in my hand and the empty bottle on the floor. But this time around, the flashback wasn’t as bad. I had the music to lead me through and in the end that was all it took.
I opened my eyes as the first verse started.
My ship went down in a sea of sound, when I woke up alone I had everything.
I shifted my view from the audience to Alex, only to find his eyes trained on me.
A handful of moments I wished I could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.
A single tear ran down my cheek as I closed my eyes again and started to sway with the melody.
In a city of fools I was careful and cool, but they tore me apart like a hurricane.
I tried my best to make my voice melt in with Alex’s. I really did. I don’t think it was ever going to happen though.
A handful of moments I wished I could change, but I was carried away…
He was grinning at me now. Looking at me sideways with his lips still pressed to the microphone. Those eyes. I started to cry even more.
Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty, but I’m smiling at everything.
That bastard, he left me hanging by myself. The crowd was so overwhelmingly in touch with what I was feeling and singing. I could see it in every face that I could make out behind the bright stage lights.
Therapy, you were never a friend to me, and you can keep all your misery.
“Dude sorry for butchering your song.” I laughed in between verses.
“Naw, it’s all a beautiful thing.” He replied with a genuine smile and I just melted on the spot.
I couldn’t gather my breath in time, so I just left Alex to himself for the next line.
My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd. I think that keeping this up could be dangerous.
He glanced over at me, prompting me to sing again.
I’m flesh and bone. I’m a rolling fucking stone
I had a huge grin on my face now, and so did Alex.
And the experts say I’m delirious
Give me therapy, I’m a walking travesty but I’m smiling at everything.
We continued for a while, I messed around a bit and echoed him in some places, which sounded fucking amazing, even if it was off pitch.
We sang the final chorus a capella, since Alex used his arm that should have been playing the guitar to squeeze me tightly in one of those side-arm hugs.
The song ended, and everyone cheered. Despite the few stray tears running down my face, I was on top of the world.
“Sorry if I ruined that song for you guys.” I said shyly out to the audience. “I know it has to mean just as much to some of you as it does to me. I didn’t mean to butcher it.”
“WAIT!” Jack yelled into his mic. I turned to my right to see him back in his place on the stage.
“What?” I laughed.
“Can I sing with you?”
“Why would you want to do that?” I asked, suspicious.
“Because I think that you’re the only person I would sound good in comparison with.” He finished with that cheeky grin.
“Fair enough!” I replied as the crowd laughed along with us.
I set the mic down and Alex offered me one last hug.
“Thank you.” I said before he let go. “For everything.”
He squeezed me a bit tighter before security lifted me back into the crowd. Alex watched to make sure I got my original spot back, sent me one last grin, before turning back to the whole venue.
“Who’s ready to rock the fuck out?”
2/19/13