Secrets and Lies
Chapter Sixteen
-Alex POV-
It's been two months, now it's the start of December and tonight is the last leg of the tour and we're in Vegas; I've heard this place has an amazing crowd, I just hope they'll like me.
I kept playing Jack's kiss with the technician over and over again in my mind, luckily neither of them saw me enter the room that night, I haven't brought it up, I mean, why would I? It has nothing to do with me, we're not mutually exclusive or anything...that wasn't part of the deal, but nevertheless it still bugged me. I had the strangest attitude when it came to Jack, it wasn't the 'I want him all to myself' kind of thing, I just didn't want him to date anyone, as irrational as that sounds, it's just the way I felt. tried to shrug it off though because I couldn't exactly turn around and tell him that without coming across as the weirdest sad sack on the planet.
_______________________________________________________________________
''Okay guys!" I announced on stage into the microphone. ''This is my last song of the night, it's an original and it really means a lot to me.'' I felt really vulnerable whenever I played this song to people just because it's so personal, it feels like I'm telling strangers my entire life story. I picked up my guitar whilst sitting on a stool that had been provided for me, I looked out at the crowd to see loads of people recording me and taking photos.
''This song goes out to anybody who's ever been told the way they think or the way they feel is the wrong way to think or the wrong way to feel, anybody who has felt betrayed by their friends or their family, anybody who had been afraid to stand up for themselves for who they or their friends are. Anybody that feels alone, anybody that feels like they need help, anybody that doesn't feel comfortable in their own skin because of the people around them. Always be yourself no matter what, be yourselves and fuck everything else. Believe whatever you want to believe, love whoever you wanna love, be who you are no matter what. I swear to God you are the most fucking beautiful people, you are the most important in the world, always be who you are. Do not let anyone change you, you're stronger than they'll ever be.'' I took a deep breath. ''This song, is called Therapy.''
My ship went down in a sea of sound
When I woke up alone I had everything
A handful of moments I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade
In a city of fools I was careful and cool
But they tore me apart like a hurricane
A handful of moments I wished I could change
But I was carried away
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can keep all your misery
My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd
I think that keeping this up could be dangerous
I'm flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone
And the experts say I'm delirious
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can take back your misery
Arrogant boy love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you
Arrogant boy cause a scene like you're supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you, you're lucky if your memory remains
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can take back your misery
Therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can choke on your misery
As the outro faded, everyone was applauding some people had tears streaming down their faces, yet they were still holding up their phones and cameras. The fact that one of my songs could do that to people was insane, I considered myself a pretty good song writer, but not to that standard.
''Don't forget to give me a tweet later on and I'll follow as many of you as possible! I've been Alex Gaskarth and I hope y'all enjoyed my cruddy songs! Peace out, fuckers!" I said with a smile plastered across my face as I walked away and back to my dressing room. I grabbed a beer and downed it, my throat was so dry so I got myself another bottle. I wandered out in to the lobby where the merch stand was and I immediately gained the attention of about 50 fans, they crowded around me, passing me things to sign and taking pictures with me.
After about 20 minutes, I could feel myself slipping into a bad mood - not because of them, just because of me - so I left and went backstage again to fill myself with more alcohol, it probably wasn't the best idea knowing the mood I would end up in, but fuck it, it was the last night of tour and I wanted to let my hair down.
_______________________________________________________________________
A couple of hours had passed now, which meant Jack was due to come off stage any second now and we had to share a hotel room before we headed back to Baltimore tomorrow. I would have left the venue as soon s my set was over but he had the key.
The lanky boy came bounding into the room still on a high with a bra on his head. Everyone gathered around him and started praising him; telling him how great he was, what an awesome tour it has been and just generally sucking up to him, quite frankly - it made me sick. I didn't want to listed to this, I stood up a little too quickly, causing my head to start spinning from all the alcohol I'd consumed today; definitely far too much. I had to grab on to the arm of the couch to prop myself up, I placed my other hand on the wall next to me and stood up straight, focusing all my attention on the open door where Jack and his stupid little groupies were. I stumbled my way towards it, almost falling flat on my face on more than one occasion, I made sure that I accidentally walked into Jack on my way out. ''I'm walking to the hotel, I'll sit outside until you get there.'' I muttered.
''You can't go alone, you're drunk as fuck...I'll come too,'' he smiled at me.
''No. I'll manage. You just stay here with your boyfriend.'' I scoffed, leaving the room.
-Jack POV-
I had barely gotten off stage and Alex was already pissed, not making any sense and rambling on about my 'boyfriend''...what on Earth was going through his head? But before I could ask him he was making his way out of the building and I assume to our hotel we had to stay in before going home tomorrow.
I quickly followed after him, grabbing his wrist so he'd turn and face me, he looked so mad, it was as if I could literally see the steam coming from out of his ears like a cartoon character who had just seen red.
''What the fuck do you want, Jack?'' He spat. ''Lover boy is over there.''
I rolled my eyes and let out an ugh sound, pulling him outside to my car that I always had following the tour bus.
The drive to the hotel was filled with tension and was so God damn awkward. I really didn't know what his problem was or what he was going on about - I was single, and even if I wasn't, I'm pretty sure it would be in every single tabloid.
We went into our room, the curtains drawn open revealing the beautiful Vegas nightlife, Alex walked over to the mini bar placed underneath the flat screen TV that was hanging on the wall, I couldn't help but roll my eyes; surely he didn't need any more alcohol, but I was glad to see him retrieve a bottle of Evian instead. I plopped myself on the corner of my double bed that was next to Alex's, only a small table between the two. ''So...'' I said awkwardly, looking at my won hands in my lap. ''What's going on?'' Now looking up to see him leaning up against the wall.
''Nothing.'' He hissed, throwing his head back.
''Fine.'' I replied standing up and walking into the bathroom. If he wasn't going to tell me what the problem was, I just wasn't going to bother with him.
I washed my face with warm water and pulled a comb through my hair trying to get all of the hairspray out and then changing into sweats and a vest. I came out and Alex was still in the same spot against the wall, I ignored him and clambered into my bed, wrapping the blanket around me, switching off the night light beside me.
''No, you know what!" Alex suddenly exclaimed throwing his bottle across the room. ''There IS a problem, YOU Jack, YOU'RE the problem!" I sat up and hitched an eyebrow in his direction, confused to the max; I really didn't know what I'd done, I finally thought we were getting somewhere - obviously not. ''That's right! I saw you and the stupid tech guy back in Boston.'' Oh, that. I hung my head, too embarrassed to look at him.
''Has nothing to do with you.'' I croaked, standing up and looking him in the eye.
''Nothing to do with me?!" He repeated. ''Why? Why isn't it?!"
I edged slightly closer to him, taking caution of his drunken state. ''Because that wasn't part of the deal, Alex.''
''I don't care, it still hurt!" he sighed, stepping even closer to me and shaking my shoulders in desperation.
''Why do you even care?'' I asked, looking into his eyes.
He finally looked lost for words, broke the eye contact and removed his hands from me. ''I....I don't.''
I could tell he was lying and that something was wrong; I'm pretty sure I knew what it was too. I stepped towards him and cupped his face in one hand while I placed the other around his waist pulling him into me so our bodies were pressed together.''Lex, I think you care because you're jealous.''
''Don't be so fucking stupid.'' He said pushing my hand away and walking into the bathroom to get ready to sleep. I traipsed back over to my bed and got in letting my head hit the soft pillow and closing my eyes.
A few minutes later I hear the suite's door open and a set of footsteps making their way over, the cover lifted up and Alex slid into my bed next to me. I didn't say anything for a few seconds but I eventually broke the silence. ''Uh...you have your own bed.'' I whispered. I figured that he just forgot seeing as he was still intoxicated.
''Shhh.'' He hummed, leaning into me and kissing my forehead before turning on his side and falling asleep.
It's been two months, now it's the start of December and tonight is the last leg of the tour and we're in Vegas; I've heard this place has an amazing crowd, I just hope they'll like me.
I kept playing Jack's kiss with the technician over and over again in my mind, luckily neither of them saw me enter the room that night, I haven't brought it up, I mean, why would I? It has nothing to do with me, we're not mutually exclusive or anything...that wasn't part of the deal, but nevertheless it still bugged me. I had the strangest attitude when it came to Jack, it wasn't the 'I want him all to myself' kind of thing, I just didn't want him to date anyone, as irrational as that sounds, it's just the way I felt. tried to shrug it off though because I couldn't exactly turn around and tell him that without coming across as the weirdest sad sack on the planet.
_______________________________________________________________________
''Okay guys!" I announced on stage into the microphone. ''This is my last song of the night, it's an original and it really means a lot to me.'' I felt really vulnerable whenever I played this song to people just because it's so personal, it feels like I'm telling strangers my entire life story. I picked up my guitar whilst sitting on a stool that had been provided for me, I looked out at the crowd to see loads of people recording me and taking photos.
''This song goes out to anybody who's ever been told the way they think or the way they feel is the wrong way to think or the wrong way to feel, anybody who has felt betrayed by their friends or their family, anybody who had been afraid to stand up for themselves for who they or their friends are. Anybody that feels alone, anybody that feels like they need help, anybody that doesn't feel comfortable in their own skin because of the people around them. Always be yourself no matter what, be yourselves and fuck everything else. Believe whatever you want to believe, love whoever you wanna love, be who you are no matter what. I swear to God you are the most fucking beautiful people, you are the most important in the world, always be who you are. Do not let anyone change you, you're stronger than they'll ever be.'' I took a deep breath. ''This song, is called Therapy.''
My ship went down in a sea of sound
When I woke up alone I had everything
A handful of moments I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade
In a city of fools I was careful and cool
But they tore me apart like a hurricane
A handful of moments I wished I could change
But I was carried away
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can keep all your misery
My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd
I think that keeping this up could be dangerous
I'm flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone
And the experts say I'm delirious
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can take back your misery
Arrogant boy love yourself so no one has to
They're better off without you
Arrogant boy cause a scene like you're supposed to
They'll fall asleep without you, you're lucky if your memory remains
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can take back your misery
Therapy I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling at everything
Therapy you were never a friend to me
And you can choke on your misery
As the outro faded, everyone was applauding some people had tears streaming down their faces, yet they were still holding up their phones and cameras. The fact that one of my songs could do that to people was insane, I considered myself a pretty good song writer, but not to that standard.
''Don't forget to give me a tweet later on and I'll follow as many of you as possible! I've been Alex Gaskarth and I hope y'all enjoyed my cruddy songs! Peace out, fuckers!" I said with a smile plastered across my face as I walked away and back to my dressing room. I grabbed a beer and downed it, my throat was so dry so I got myself another bottle. I wandered out in to the lobby where the merch stand was and I immediately gained the attention of about 50 fans, they crowded around me, passing me things to sign and taking pictures with me.
After about 20 minutes, I could feel myself slipping into a bad mood - not because of them, just because of me - so I left and went backstage again to fill myself with more alcohol, it probably wasn't the best idea knowing the mood I would end up in, but fuck it, it was the last night of tour and I wanted to let my hair down.
_______________________________________________________________________
A couple of hours had passed now, which meant Jack was due to come off stage any second now and we had to share a hotel room before we headed back to Baltimore tomorrow. I would have left the venue as soon s my set was over but he had the key.
The lanky boy came bounding into the room still on a high with a bra on his head. Everyone gathered around him and started praising him; telling him how great he was, what an awesome tour it has been and just generally sucking up to him, quite frankly - it made me sick. I didn't want to listed to this, I stood up a little too quickly, causing my head to start spinning from all the alcohol I'd consumed today; definitely far too much. I had to grab on to the arm of the couch to prop myself up, I placed my other hand on the wall next to me and stood up straight, focusing all my attention on the open door where Jack and his stupid little groupies were. I stumbled my way towards it, almost falling flat on my face on more than one occasion, I made sure that I accidentally walked into Jack on my way out. ''I'm walking to the hotel, I'll sit outside until you get there.'' I muttered.
''You can't go alone, you're drunk as fuck...I'll come too,'' he smiled at me.
''No. I'll manage. You just stay here with your boyfriend.'' I scoffed, leaving the room.
-Jack POV-
I had barely gotten off stage and Alex was already pissed, not making any sense and rambling on about my 'boyfriend''...what on Earth was going through his head? But before I could ask him he was making his way out of the building and I assume to our hotel we had to stay in before going home tomorrow.
I quickly followed after him, grabbing his wrist so he'd turn and face me, he looked so mad, it was as if I could literally see the steam coming from out of his ears like a cartoon character who had just seen red.
''What the fuck do you want, Jack?'' He spat. ''Lover boy is over there.''
I rolled my eyes and let out an ugh sound, pulling him outside to my car that I always had following the tour bus.
The drive to the hotel was filled with tension and was so God damn awkward. I really didn't know what his problem was or what he was going on about - I was single, and even if I wasn't, I'm pretty sure it would be in every single tabloid.
We went into our room, the curtains drawn open revealing the beautiful Vegas nightlife, Alex walked over to the mini bar placed underneath the flat screen TV that was hanging on the wall, I couldn't help but roll my eyes; surely he didn't need any more alcohol, but I was glad to see him retrieve a bottle of Evian instead. I plopped myself on the corner of my double bed that was next to Alex's, only a small table between the two. ''So...'' I said awkwardly, looking at my won hands in my lap. ''What's going on?'' Now looking up to see him leaning up against the wall.
''Nothing.'' He hissed, throwing his head back.
''Fine.'' I replied standing up and walking into the bathroom. If he wasn't going to tell me what the problem was, I just wasn't going to bother with him.
I washed my face with warm water and pulled a comb through my hair trying to get all of the hairspray out and then changing into sweats and a vest. I came out and Alex was still in the same spot against the wall, I ignored him and clambered into my bed, wrapping the blanket around me, switching off the night light beside me.
''No, you know what!" Alex suddenly exclaimed throwing his bottle across the room. ''There IS a problem, YOU Jack, YOU'RE the problem!" I sat up and hitched an eyebrow in his direction, confused to the max; I really didn't know what I'd done, I finally thought we were getting somewhere - obviously not. ''That's right! I saw you and the stupid tech guy back in Boston.'' Oh, that. I hung my head, too embarrassed to look at him.
''Has nothing to do with you.'' I croaked, standing up and looking him in the eye.
''Nothing to do with me?!" He repeated. ''Why? Why isn't it?!"
I edged slightly closer to him, taking caution of his drunken state. ''Because that wasn't part of the deal, Alex.''
''I don't care, it still hurt!" he sighed, stepping even closer to me and shaking my shoulders in desperation.
''Why do you even care?'' I asked, looking into his eyes.
He finally looked lost for words, broke the eye contact and removed his hands from me. ''I....I don't.''
I could tell he was lying and that something was wrong; I'm pretty sure I knew what it was too. I stepped towards him and cupped his face in one hand while I placed the other around his waist pulling him into me so our bodies were pressed together.''Lex, I think you care because you're jealous.''
''Don't be so fucking stupid.'' He said pushing my hand away and walking into the bathroom to get ready to sleep. I traipsed back over to my bed and got in letting my head hit the soft pillow and closing my eyes.
A few minutes later I hear the suite's door open and a set of footsteps making their way over, the cover lifted up and Alex slid into my bed next to me. I didn't say anything for a few seconds but I eventually broke the silence. ''Uh...you have your own bed.'' I whispered. I figured that he just forgot seeing as he was still intoxicated.
''Shhh.'' He hummed, leaning into me and kissing my forehead before turning on his side and falling asleep.
Notes
This is gonna be a really long story....probably about 50 odd chapters, I tend to ramble on a bit, but I just hate rushing creative writing as it just ruins it D:
But yeah,
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It really helps me out, thank you:3
What happens in the last chapter cuz its gone. Omg though amazing story
5/29/16