After talking about it my mom told me i was going to school so i had to get sleep. I started up the stairs then heard footsteps following me. Oh god. I ran up reaching the hall when someone lifted me i hung by jacks side as he walked to my room i groaned

" lets go have a chat before bedtime" he said i giggled
Then i realized what they meant. I struggled but he threw me on the bed i laughed as Rian shut the door locking it oh great. I sat up leaning against the wall as Alex sat next to me Zack taking the other side jack jumping in front of me crossing his legs and rian pulled a chair next yo the bed

" ok go" Alex said i sighed looking down

"why were you on that bridge?" Rian asked i bit my lip trying hard not to tear

" i-i idk im stupid? I let everything get to me! It just hurt. I loved him and he never loved me it was a joke between him and sarah who i now know was having sex with him this whole time. " i said my voice cracking tears escaping as they swore

" thats horrible" zack muttered

Suddenly jack lifted my chin making me look in his eyes . He is almost never serious and when he is you know its for a serious matter

" but its not something you should kill yourself over. Do you know how upset id be if i lost my lil partner in crime? Id die . " he said rubbing my cheek i smiled shyly

"its not just that though" i said throwing my head back

"they told everyone my secret" i said the guys looked at me curious

" all?" Alex whispered i nodded

"they dragged me on the table and told them about my self harm and about-Andrew a-and my hand and -" i started cracking. My left hand is paralyzed from a stroke i had when i was born.its not that bad but i can barely use it can barely used it so now im a cripple to their eyes

"hey shh and what?" Jack asked whipping the tears i looked down feeling Alex rub circles in my back

"when they mentioned Andrew-" i froze Zack leaned stroking my cheek

" they laughed. They called him a gay faggot cuz he killed himself. They said it was because of seeing my ugly face. They said i should join him . They called me lesbian- they took a knife and sarah-" i lost it i started to ball Alex pulled me in a side hug

" hey shh im right here shhh what did they do?" He asked i stopped a little

"cut her name in my arm " i said jack looked pissed now

" let me see" he demanded i froze I cant show them without them seeing my scars . I promised them id stop but i couldnt "

"i can't" i whispered staring at the wall

"why not" Rian asked then froze

" julia.. You didn't" Zack asked

" im sorry" i muttered and Alex rolled up my sleeves and gasped

"holy fuck" he mutterd as they all looked at the new red marks that line my wrist Alex traced over them and sighed

" your too beautiful to be doing this to yourself" he said "

"please dont do this again talk to us if you feel this upset.maybe this tour will be a good thing" zack added I nodded as they all leaned in kissing my cheek causing me to smile

"aww she loves us! " alex said and tickled me i giggled squirming

"oo tickle party!" Jack said joining in

"no! No stop i- i cant breath" i said laughing as rian and Zack joined in i couldnt handle it i suddenly jerked back slamming against the wall they laughed ad my mom screamed

"ALEX CUT IT OUT" she screamed i laughed as they pulled away zack pulling me on the ground into a thump

" YOU BOYS ARE SUCH CHILDREN!" She called "

"DAM STRAIGHT!" Alex called back I got up as Alex hugged me again tight

" we love you and would hate to see you hurt yourself . Please try to be strong . " he said

" you have us." Rian added

"you always will" zack said

"and we're like boss so " jack said i smiled

"i love you guys" i said alex squeezed me

"we love you too" he said so calming

" i missed you too much" i added

"AWWW " jack said jumping in the hug i smiled as they all did

" now get your asses out of my room i have 2 hrs of sleep"i said they laughed

"well that escalated quickly" jack said pulling away fake hurt he kissed my cheek rubbing my hair

" i hope you dont have a good sleep" he said i smirked

"i hope you have night terrors jack" i said he smirked

"well played my friend. I definitely missed you " he said walking out Rian and zack both hugged me before leaving and alex gave me a bone crushing hug

" i missed you so much. Ill make everything better i promise" he whispered i dug into him

"i just never wanna be without you again its been 10 years" i got out he kissed my head

" thats why your coming with me kid. Get some sleep see you later love you" he said i smiled

" love you too alex" i said he smiled before opening my door closing it behind him I sighed laying on my bed staring at wall. I was exited for tour but there was one problem. James needed me no latter what happened i couldn't escape him. I was his fucking puppet . I got into drug dealing cuz of him and once im in there was no escape he needed me to go with him to distract them so he could get more or to bargain and by bargain i mean he would use me. I wad gonna try to tell him i was done but i knew his answer. I couldn't tell the guys they'd murder me first then go after James and then.. Id be in for it

Notes

Sorry it took so long!