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Flyzik.

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate this man and how well he's taken care of our boys over the years?

When Colussy left, it didn't damage us as much as this has. I'm not saying that Colussy wasn't loved, but Matt was more than just a part of the crew.. He was a part of the band, and we'll always love him for that.

Matt had a good run with All Time Low and we all had fun listening to his lectures at M&G. He was so adorable and shy when I met him, but I'll never forget how cute he was when he smiled at me. I hope he goes on to do great things and I hope he keeps his friendship with the boys close. I only wish I had known it was the last chance I'd have (that I'm aware of) to speak with him during the House Party Tour. I would have made more of an effort to thank him for everything he's done for us and for the band.

We'll miss you, Matt! Good luck with the rest of your life. <3.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/25/13
@BreakingJessie_x
This makes me really sad, all of my friends and I are crying right now because he means so much to keep our insane but lovable band together.
I was really hoping to meet Matt one day but looks like my chance is gone, unless this is a really shitty late April Fools joke, or my trick in trick or treat.
Sadly, this is real life and I need to respect what Matt wants because I don't live his life and I never will unless some magic happens.
See you soon Matt, whatever may come your way I wish you all the luck I can with my Hustler Heart <3
@Sarah's Butterflies

I keep waiting for someone to tell me it's a joke. Seriously. I'm very upset by it as well. I cried when I read his twitter update. I keep telling myself life goes on and even though it's sad, Matt is going to have a great future no matter what he does. I'm going to miss the Hell out of him, though.

He was adorable, shy and awkward. At my meet and greet, I smiled at him repeatedly during his speech and he'd smile back and look away real quick. So cute!

Fuck. Now I'm sad again! D:
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

Can someone tell me this is a dream? I've only known this band for a little over a year and every moment is fantastic knowing I can have friends from all over world and we can trust each other. Flyzik was like our glue, he made sure Alex, Jack, Zack and Rian were safe and was pretty good friends with them, I mean ATL has known Matt since the Underscore days. Sadly I was too young to know what pop-punk was during the start of ATL. I was what, 4? I know I'm talking about the band as a whole but I really don't even know what to say.
Matt left a heart on us that he can only color pink on us, and I would love to have it colored pink again.
In a way a part of me died, that sounds like a lot but this band has saved me, each crew member and the members mean so much to me that I can't explain how much they do.
I'm getting so many tattoos dedicated to this band, I think I'm on ten planned just dedicated right now.
@Sarah's Butterflies

I love being a part of this bandom. Seriously, the people are so amazing. I've been watching the band play live since the van days. I watched Alex back the van into another car, LOL. They saved me, too. They save all of us, and I think we're all getting tat's for them. Mine is big, though, so I have to save lotsss of money!

I was actually just telling my co-author that I hope he goes back to making his own music. That would be grand. But maybe he's just reached a point in his life where he's ready to.. Have a life, so to speak. Leave the fame. He didn't seem to like it that much anyhow.

I totally understand that. I was sad when Colussy left, don't get me wrong.. But Matt is different. I'm not sure why, he's just the 5th member. I mean, he played and sang, so.

Maybe since the crew is drifting we're all kind of scared with the firmness of the band. I don't know what I'd do if they broke up. I can't even think about it. But Matt leaving shakes that fear in me. At the last show I went to I gave Alex a letter asking him to never stop making music, even if he settled down and had kids, ect. I'm just extremely emotionally invested in the band and the people who make it.

At least I'm not alone. <3.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

The day this band ends is the day where I'll be put at a point asking myself "What do I do with my life now. My heart is broken and I just don't know what to do."
Honestly, I'd be put back in an area where I was almost a year ago. I'd be back in a big hole with darkness, razor blades, and depressing poetry with a depression filled mindset and crying every night in silence because I wouldn't know what to do. Sure I'd have my friends but I'd hide the fact of what I've done the night before.

This band saved my life when I was in the darkness with my blades, tears and not eating. I wouldn't have changed unless I had this band because honestly, if I never found this band I'd be 6 feet under the stars in dirt.

My first tattoo in 4 years is the Alex Gaskarth Pinky Swear quote because it means so much to me and all of my friends know I want it, sure maybe not the meaning behind it but still.
@Sarah's Butterflies

If it ever happens, don't suffer in silence. There are thousands of us who are in the same place.

I found ATL after my dad died. I attempted suicide multiple times. I drank, snorted and had my fair share of drugs on top of cutting (but I'd been doing that since I was 11), then a year later my best friend died. I was.. Fucked, to say the least. Both years. Back to back. And both times, Alex was there. He understood when no one else did. And every year since, I've lost someone. And he's always there reminding me that IT'S NOT MY TIME and I HAVE TO KEEP GOING. Even if it hurts.

Even if I don't know him.. He knows me.. Does that make sense?

And I thank that band, everyday, for all they've done. Breathing new life into my lungs, relating to me, loving me from a distance and even letting me meet new people, like you. People I can tell this stuff to because they've been saved, too.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

This band is my whole life, I've have met the best friends a girl with S.A and G.A could ever ask for, I've covered their songs on my old YouTube with my best friend who lives now 300 miles away from me, annoyed the DJ at the ice rink to play MCKMA, gone through darkness, saw the light, made dreams, write my life with in my stories and vent positively, made a new band and see the dreams in my eyes.
I'm crying right now because if this band dies then I do too, sure I'm not the oldest fan but I still love them and I feel as if I've become maybe a better person because of them.
My music is my everything and when bands fall apart or members leave, a bit of me does too because I connect so well with it.
No one will take my music, my dreams, my life away from me.

@Sarah's Butterflies

You can sing? Can I have a link to gush over you?! <3.

Exactly. They're everything. And sometimes I feel like a headcase over it. Because no one around me understands. I have to reach out to people everywhere else to find the support. Like, today, I was ecstatic because I found a girl on THC that I met at the concert. It's uplifting. I think I may die without them.. The sad thing is, I'm not kidding.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

I've struggled through a lot of things, things that only two of my best friends know because I've gone to them when the going got rough.
Before I knew ATL, I always went to my friend Breann and I still do. She was my first best friend when I left my Catholic school for third grade. I knew no one, I was scared but I met her and she's helped me get through my anger problems and they are all gone now because of her.
I've gone to her house unannounced out of no where because I needed her and she took me in when I couldn't deal with the things I've felt before. I'd stay at her house because she knew just how to turn my frown upside down and make me feel happy when I'd cry.
She's 300 miles away and I can't walk that far, I don't have a license so I can't drive either so we text but when that isn't enough, I've gone to the Hustler friends I've made and understand me, and when they don't, they don't lie and say they've felt the same way too but they give me the support I need to get over the bump or mountain.
I've been friends with Breann for 5 years now and were still going strong, yeah sure she believes things differently than me on things like religion as she's Christian and I feel more Agnostic but that doesn't affect our friendship because it's the times we've made with each other that makes everything all right.
She's my longest friend and accepts me for everything I am and I do the same for her. We've never even had one fight but the play ones where we pretend to be mad but aren't.
@BreakingJessie_x

I play in bands, right now it's for Diamond Candles with my new friend from my new school.Diamond Candles YouTube we have no videos but tomorrow we'll be having a live stream around 6 maybe tomorrow.
My old one was Rock Out Loud Teen Dream I would be Ariella and Nickie would be April but for Diamond Candles I'm Sari and my friend is Zilina.
I play bass (and just got my amp today after not having one since I bought Alex Basskarth in December. There's a reason behind the bass though, only Nickie and Breann know though.) I also sing, and my electric guitar should be here tomorrow or Monday.
I'm not spoiled but it's a late birthday present from my mom and step-dad. I've waited 3 months for it but I don't care because I love them.
@Sarah's Butterflies

I'm that way with Stephanie, which is described in my story Bruised and Blue. I've been friends with her for almost 11 years. We lived together until shit went terribly wrong and she had to leave the state. She lives 5 hours away from me and knows of my past, but not of my current struggles. There are some.. Things, that prevent us from being.. Deep, I guess you could say. But she's my bestie for life.

Then, I have someone I tell everything to that lives in Canada. We've suffered everything together, even dated for almost a year, and she's my best friend next to Rae. Well, Steph, since you probably don't know I call her Rae, lol.

Still, Hustler friends keep me strong. Steph knows my issues, as does the Canadian friend, but they don't understand my love for the band. Probably never will. But you guys do.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@Sarah's Butterflies

That is awesome and I'll definitely be looking it up when my net stops having its period. lol.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

People may say "You have no experience in life" and I've been told that, hell my whole class was told that before.
What exactly is experience in life? We all have gone through different things, I've been hurt before and just because it doesn't look like that by my looks doesn't mean anything.
Adults can be so stupid sometimes! People go through things that aren't shown on the news.
Some people are full of BS sometimes.
How the heck did this turn from Flyzik to personal issues to dumb people? See I'm a side tracked teen.
@Sarah's Butterflies

But I admire that you're willing to voice your opinion.

People are ignorant. They fear what they don't understand.

I believe we should all love and support each other, no matter what is happening. But I also believe in being loyal, honest and full of morals. Just because I don't agree with some people doesn't mean I don't understand.

Why can't they be open minded? Closed minds are horrible. They never learn anything new.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

Or it was an old guy substitute that told us about his personal life to the point where no one cared. I like substitutes, just the ones that don't talk about their personal life.

I'm kind of open minded, it's a bit harder though just due to my anxiety and my fears. I do support gay marriage and rights, love is love and it isn't harming anyone unless its an abusive relationship, mental or physical or both.

I'm Pansexual, I just could care less who I fall in love with, if I like you dispite if your a dude, woman, transgendered, prefer not to classify yourself. I just can't care just as long as I like you and develop a crush, maybe fall in love that's all that matters to me.
@Sarah's Butterflies

I'm open about.. Everything. I have really bad anxiety. But that doesn't mean my mind can't stay open while avoid the world around me.

I believe in love. No matter the costs. Anything you are, you deserve love. Except.. Ya know, with an animal... I draw the line there... Aside from that, love is love. I've dated girls and guys. Never saw them as being anything different. Just was fond of them.

I'm not into abortion. That's pretty much my only flaw. Anything else, I'm open to. Mostly, I guess. If it makes someone happy... Who am I to judge? Just don't hurt the innocent in the process.

I tend to fight a ridiculous amount for the underdog, no matter how or what they may be...

I love that about you now. Love is blind! <3.
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety and General Anxiety over the summer, it kind of controls me in a way sometimes. It's the worst and I do suffer from panic attacks, I've had them for really as long as I can remember. Mentally I knew I was weirder from the other kids because when they go out and talk to people, I couldn't. I wanted to but my mind mentally wouldn't let me.

Personally I'm neutral on abortion, if you get it, then you do, it's not my problem and isn't affecting me in any way. If you get raped or something of that such and you don't want to carry the kid, then go for it, get an abortion.If you just don't want the kid, I don't care if you get an abortion because you aren't hurting me or anyone around you.

If it isn't hurting me I could give a crap less, if its not hurting people around you, then I just don't care. I can't care.

That's just how I am though.
@Sarah's Butterflies

I have social anxiety, too. My meds didn't really help me much there. Honestly, the only time I can muster up the courage to feel okay in my skin around other people is when I'm drunk. If I could go through life drunk, I'd be okay...

See, I just don't feel that way.


I'm like that with most things human wise. But over an animal? I'll cut someone. ;]
BreakingJessie_x BreakingJessie_x
10/26/13
@BreakingJessie_x

I'm not on meds, I refuse to take them so my doctor didn't put me on them. Plus learning how to deal with at a young age can help me later in the long run so then maybe it won't be so bad.

I only have one time when I'm older and I drink alcohol, and that's when my friend and I plan to drink and have fun with friends. Other than that I won't drink again, I have my personal reasons and my friends know why.
I know I talk about my friends and how much what they know about me but their my diary, I can tell them anything and they won't tell anyone.

I care about animals but they aren't my one activist passion, for me it's self harm, eating disorders, drug awareness and supporting the LGBT community.
It drives me nuts when people use 'gay' and 'fag' as an insult. Same with using SWAG, it's an acronym for Secretly We Are Gay or in the land of Hustlers, Sex with Alex Gaskarth.